This might be the best burger I ever ate at a country music concert

So, I’m at the ACC, to see my man The Chief, Eric Fuckin’ Church in concert, bro! Last summer, when he was supposed to play Kitchener, the gig got rained out, and I dived face first into a bacon cheeseburger. Looks like I’m about to do the same thing here…

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They call this the Maple Bacon Burger, and it’s got cheddar cheese, bacon and a maple aioli! As far as concession food goes, this is pretty decent. Burger is nice and thick, bacon is a little on the chewy side, nice crunch from the onions and tomatoes. Fries are super thin, and kinda taste like Swiss Chalet. Now that was a cold 17 dollars I never will get back, son…and that doesn’t even include the beer!

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If Drake was a chicken finger, this is the kind of chicken finger he’d be

So we’re hanging out at the ACC, watching some barely legal boys hockey, Switzerland versus Trumpistan, and I’m hungry like a hippo, bro! I see they no longer serve Philly cheesesteak–which is probably a good thing–but all of the options ain’t looking too tasty…until I saw the Hot Lime Bling. You know that can only mean one thing–straight down my piehole, bro!

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Alright, here’s the deal. They take chicken fingers, dip ’em in Frank’s Red Hot, put some grated parm on top and a little lime on the side. This actually tastes pretty good–the acid from the lime offsets some of the heat, and hey, the fries are hot and crispy. But 13 bucks for three little fingers!? That’s like a backroom shakedown in Flavourtown!

How to make a better cheesesteak than the Air Canada Centre

Now, I’ve been to the ACC a buncha times, and I gotta say, some of their food options are OK. I would totally recommend the roast beef sandwich at the Real Sports stand—if you’re sitting in the lower bowl, they can even bring it to your seat! But I would definitely advise against ordering their sorry excuse for cheesesteak from one of the other places. Not unless you like eating subway shoe leather served on a crappy hotdog bun with some sorry-ass cheese sauce. Let’s just say that if the ACC’s cheesesteak was a Spinal Tap album, it would be Shark Sandwich. (Love those guys, by the way!)

In fact, I was so infuriated after paying $10.50 for this garbage that I set out to make my own, using only a frying pan and a cutting board. Cuz hey, you don’t hafta be fancy to make a steak sandwich!

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OK, so here’s what I did. I took some steak, some onions and some peppers, slapped ‘em up with a Slap Chop, and threw ‘em in a goddamn pan on medium for five freakin’ minutes. The end result was delicious. Tell me you wouldn’t pay $10.50 for this:

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So hey, if you happen to see me hanging out at the upcoming Motley Crue reunion tour, then no, that isn’t a cheesesteak in my pants—I’m just happy to see Tommy Lee! 😉