All You Can Eat Asian @ Spring Rolls

Now, my motto’s always been “Why only eat some, when you can eat all?” So we’re hanging out at Spring Rolls, right at Yonge and Dundas, where you can get all you can eat Asian food for just 28 bucks, bro! And we’re not just talking sushi, we’re talking dim sum, bulgogi, calamari, lamb chops… and a whole lotta cupcakes for dessert! OK, now let’s break it down:

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This plateful of deep-fried goodness includes Japanese gyoza, deep-fried scallop cakes, and a beef satay skewer with a very uneven sauce distribution… But that’s not all we’re frying up here:

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Holy Octopus Balls, Batman! This takoyaki was so hot it almost melted my face off!!!

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Now here’s something I’ve never even seen before — they take a wonton, stuff it with cream cheese, and then drop it in the fryer. Man, the only way this would be better is if they used nacho cheese, bro!

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Of course, we’ve always got room for some calamari. Dude, this is body by calamari!

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Now, I guess we should probably order some sushi. On the right, we’ve got a salmon avocado roll, and then on the left, that’s a green dragon roll — crab meat, avocado and cucumber, with more avocado on top! Who needs a cherry when you can have avocado on top???

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But now we’re about to funk it up a notch, homes! This spider roll, spider roll does whatever a spider roll does — it’s got deep-fried soft shell crab, with some regular crab, avocado, cucumber and mayo… It’s like a Tobey Maguire upside-down kiss in Flavourtown!!!

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Now, I know at this point you’re probably asking “Where’s the beef, bro?” Well, it’s right here, son! This sizzling bulgogi beef is so chewy, you could pull it apart with a fork… Man, I could eat like 17 of these!

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But that’s not the only thing they’re sizzlin’ at Spring Rolls, son! This honey ginger chicken wasn’t quite as spicy as advertised…but you KNOW it’s still heading straight down my piehole!!!

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Now, here’s something I wasn’t expecting. Imagine having steak and lamb, and lamb and steak. Imagine having both of them, on just one plate… OK, so both of these pieces were well beyond medium rare, but they can still tag team my taste buds any day, bro!

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Now, if you like your Chinese food deep-fried and saucy — dude, Deep Fried ‘n Saucy is my dating profile handle! — then this Tango Mango Chicken is for you. You’ve got crunchy, crispy bird, mango, sweet, sweet onion and bell peppers, sauteed in a house special citrus tango mango sauce. Dude, you could put that on a flip-flop, and it would still taste good!!!!

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Of course, even after slamming all those Asian taste sensations, we’ve still got room for dessert. Mini brownies, mini creme brulees, and five different kinds of mini cupcakes. The ones with the Oreos on top were my Flavourtown favourites…

 

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Christmas teppanyaki dinner @ Matsuda Japanese Cuisine

Dude, the best part of Christmas is definitely Christmas dinner. Any reason to eat so much that your tie-dye sweatpants rip apart is a good time with me. But I’m not really a big fan of turkey, unless it’s smoked BBQ Texas style. So instead, we’re funking it up this Christmas at Matsuda Japanese Cuisine… Who needs turkey when you can have teppanyaki, bro???

Now, in case you’re a pagan, a wiccan or an Israelite with an appetite, the good news is that most Asian restaurants in Toronto are open on Christmas Day. But this ain’t just any ol’ Asian restaurant. This funky Japanese joint is serving up everything on its grilled teppanyaki menu for $38.99 — and you can even go back for seconds!!!

You’ve got steak, you’ve got chicken, you’ve got duck, you’ve even got grilled tofu and bacon-fried rice…plus an entire sushi menu at your disposal. Now, I’m not gonna fill up on sushi when I can be eating steak. But I had to give these wasabi mussels a try:

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This was definitely different from any seafood dish I’ve ever had. These mussels were as cold as ice, ice baby, with so much wasabi that I felt it in my face. Did not see that coming! Of course, I couldn’t just order one thing from the sushi menu, so I dived right in to the deep-fried section, with some super shrimp tempura and calamari:

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Now, I dunno if this pic even does it justice, but this shrimp was so long, it belongs in an ExtenZe commercial, bro! And there were about five or six more where this one came from–they definitely don’t short-change you!

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The first thing to come off the grill was seafood. The grilled flounder was legit, the jumbo shrimp were literally on fire, but this flame-grilled Atlantic salmon was the best part of waking up (at 8 pm). Fish was super flaky, with a great teriyaki glaze… I could definitely go for more of these!!!

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Now, here’s something I’ve never had at a teppanyaki joint before. They take this duck breast, thinly sliced and cooked up nice on the grill. What the duck? I think I musta ate at least 17 pieces of this stuff!!!

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Now, the first rule of Flavourtown Food Fight Club is that everything tastes better with bacon, bro! This includes bacon-fried rice, which they make right in front of you on the grill. There were some other delicious dishes too, like chicken teriyaki, beef short ribs, and thin, stringy mushrooms wrapped in bacon…but let’s cut straight to the main event, the top choice ribeye steak:

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Now, even the raw cuts of meat looked super tasty, but once they slice ‘n dice em and serve ’em up, I bet they taste even better. I haven’t put this many pieces of meat in my mouth since that one time, at beef camp…but you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro!!!

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Dessert is also all you can eat, which means you don’t have to choose between ice cream, chocolate pudding and deep fried bananas…you can have all three! Or four, or five, or six, or seven–calories don’t count on Christmas Day, dude!!!

Sushi Legend: Come for the AYCE sushi, stay for the beef!

So, we’re hanging out at Sushi Legend, this funky AYCE sushi joint all up in an Asian strip mall at Finch and Leslie. Now, this place is pretty legit–you know they’ve got sushi, they’ve got sashimi, chicken katsu, fish cakes, peel-and-eat shrimp… But what really makes it is this tasty trio of beef dishes. Why settle for all-you-can-eat sushi when you can have all-you-can-eat beef, bro???

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We’re starting out with some torched beef sushi. Man, I musta slammed at least 17 of these! The meat is nicely grilled, served on a bed of rice, with a little bit of fruit on top. One of the best beef dishes I’ve had this week!

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Next up, you’ve got these garlic steak bites. They might be tiny little pieces of meat, but they’re packed with flavour, hot off the wok with crushed garlic overtop. Goes great with the garlic mushrooms, which they’re serving up the same way…

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But man, the best dish on the entire AYCE menu might be these Korean-style beef ribs. The meat is super tender, grilled to perfection, and you can just bite it right off the bone. Bro, I could eat my body weight in these babies and still have room for dessert! Oh, and speaking of dessert…

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Can you say AYCE creme brulee, Jose???

Crushing some All You Can Eat Ribs @ Montana’s

Now, I don’t usually eat at Montana’s unless I’m eating all I can. I totally slayed some AYCE fajitas last year, but now it’s time for something even better. Can you say all you can eat ribs, bro???

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Now, they’re definitely no Adamson Barbecue when it comes to ribs, but these pork bones are still pretty tasty. They’ve got a nice smoke ring on ’em, equal parts melt-in-your-mouth and stuck-in-your-teeth. Dude, I could polish off about 4-5 racks of these bad boys… Oh wait, I just did!

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Truth be told, I probably couldda finished off a few more…but I didn’t wanna trouble ’em for another bucket.

WINTERLICIOUS 2018: All the meat you can eat for 43 bucks, bro!!!!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year–we’re talking Winterlicious, dude! The time where over 200 restaurants in Toronto are offering three course meals at some crazy cheap prices–or in the case of Rodeo Brazilian Steakhouse, as many courses of meat as you can eat! It’s like a Flavourtown festival of funkaliciousness, heading straight down my piehole, bro!!!

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They start you off with the salad bar, which includes cured meat, breads and cheeses. The highlight has gotta be the cooked shrimp and mussels, although there weren’t many mussels left when I got there.

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Of course, you don’t wanna fill up on salad when there’s steak to be eaten. Their prime rib was tender, juicy and cheesy, with little bits of cheddar baked right in. I could pound about 20 pieces of this stuff, son!

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But, y’know, life isn’t always about the beef. Not when there’s some fresh-sliced pork shoulder to be scarfed, too!

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Daddy, would you like some sausage? Don’t mind if I do, son!!!

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Who can say no to chicken parm on a stick? I think I slammed at least six of these!

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Now you KNOW I can’t just say no to chicken wings, bro! These molten-hot flavour nuggets taste even better with some Cholula Chipotle sauce on ’em!

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Now, here’s something you won’t get at the Copacabana–it’s a yellow-bellied chicken liver! This sphere of internal poultry has definitely got a different texture, kinda chewy and not as meaty. I think I’ll stick with the steak…

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Now, you wouldn’t think I’d still have room for dessert at the end of this funkalicious flavourtrain, but this deep-fried banana is bananas–and bananas ARE good, bro!!!!

12 TACOS OF CHRISTMAS: All the tacos you can eat!

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For the 12th taco of Christmas, my Trujillo gave to me…

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All the tacos you can eat!

 

Would you drive two and a half hours on a Wednesday just to eat tacos, bro? Well, that’s what we did last year, when we headed out to Taco Farm, this funky little joint in Waterloo, where they’re serving up all you can eat tacos on Wednesdays. They don’t call ’em Waddle Out Wednesdays for nothing–after scarfing down at least 17 tacos, I barely made it outta there alive!!!

READ MORE: Taco bout March Madness—AYCE tacos in Waterloo!

Eating all the meats @ Copacabana

Now, it goes without saying I like steak. Dude, this is body by steak, bro!!!! So, when I found this funky Brazilian steakhouse that was serving up all the meat you could eat for two hours, I knew I wanted to eat all of it. And with about 20 different kinds of steak, chicken and seafood on the menu, I pretty much checked all of them off the list. (The only thing I didn’t see was sausage, son!)

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We start off with some top sirloin, sliced right off the spit! Careful with that knife, bro!!!!

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Next up, we’ve got filet mignon wrapped in bacon. You can’t go wrong with beef wrapped in bacon!

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Next up, we’ve got some parmesan steak. Can you tell I like steak?

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And now for some New York striploin. And I didn’t even hafta ride the subway to get it!

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And now, time for something completely different. We’re talking Slamma Jamma Lamba, son!!!!

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In Brazil, they call this picanha. In Flavourtown, we call it magically delicious! Oh, and there’s some grilled pineapple on the side, so I can say I had one serving of fruit.

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You know what’s even better than top sirloin? Garlic sirloin, bro!!!

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And now, here’s something I didn’t even see on the menu. When they were coming around with a container of beef ribs, you know I had to grab some!

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But you know, they don’t just do beef at this joint. Here’s a little dish I like to call Moroccan Chicken:

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I saw the shrimp, and it opened up my mouth, I saw the shrimp…

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Now, how do you make prime rib even better? Just add aged cheddar!

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And now we’re heading south of the border for some funkalicious chimichurri steak:

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Now, I completely forgot to take a picture of the flank steak before I shoved it straight down my piehole. My bad, bro! But maybe it’s time to switch to chicken. Here’s the cilantro lime edition:

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And how’s about a drumstick?

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They just called this one “spicy chicken.” I couldn’t tell you what kind of spice–at this point, I can’t even taste my feelings:

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Two hours and 16 meats (plus one pineapple) later, and we’re outta here. But man, if I could just get a sword of the cheddar prime rib to go, that would be great, bro!