Tag Archives: Apiecalypse Now

This vegan Big Mac pizza tastes like it’s missing something…

Now, it’s pretty safe to say that Triple B isn’t that big on vegan food. After all, two of the three B’s are quite meaty. But y’know, a little while back, we were hanging out at FuBar, this cozy heavy metal dive with a vegan pizza place downstairs, and their vegan poutine pizza was pretty legit, so I figured I’d pop in to Apiecalypse Now for their slice of a fast-food burger classic.

They call this the Fat Mac, and it’s got a lot going on here. First of all, the shredded dill pickle, diced lettuce and their vegan fat mac sauce capture the taste of Mickey D’s to a T. The crust is nice and crispy, and I don’t even mind the plant-based cheddar cheese. But as I’m shoving this down my piehole, I’ve only got one question: Where’s the beef, bro???

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Now, they don’t say what their “ground not beef” is made of, but it does not taste like beef–or like much of anything, really. These sad little overcooked crumbs of plant-based protein really don’t cut through the lettuce, the pickle, or even the cheese sauce…they’re just kinda flavourless. If you ordered a Big Mac without the burger, it might taste something like this.

Hey man, I’ll never turn my back on a bar that was playing my favourite Weedeater song when I first walked in…but next time I think I’ll go with their Slayer!!!1!!!11!! pie instead.

And yes, that is actually a thing…

Holy Vegan Poutine Pizza, Batman!!!!!

So, we’re hanging out at FuBar, this friendly neighbourhood heavy metal joint across from Christie Pits in Koreatown. This place is serving up local craft beers and blasting out killer tunes from 4 pm until 10–and downstairs, they’ve serving up the best vegan pizza I’ve ever had in my life at this funky little joint called Apiecalypse Now! They’ve even got a killer pie named after Slayer, but when I saw they were putting poutine on a pizza, I was all over that like Tom Araya at a Trump rally!

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This pizza is like a Renegade of Funk in Flavourtown, bro! You’ve got some thin & crispy spuds, a legit vegan gravy, these little Buffalo-style soy nuggets, all served up on a nice, crisp crust! While you don’t quite get the texture of squeaky cheese curds from the vegan mozzarella, it does capture the saltiness you would expect from a poutine. This dish is bananas, and bananas are good!

In fact, I would even say this here is the best vegan dish I’ve ever had…and I’ve had more than one vegan dish before, bro! (Like, maybe three or four?)

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HORNS UP IN FLAVOURTOWN!!!!