Tag Archives: Austin Texas

EATIN AUSTIN: An antelope, a rabbit and a pig meat up in a grinder…

Now, Toronto is no stranger to gourmet hot dogs. You’ve got Fancy Franks, Let’s Be Frank (RIP), Wvrst, and probably a couple more places serving up exotic sausages. But one that you won’t find roaming the wild plains of High Park is the jackalope. Pretty sure this here critter has never been spotted east of the Mississippi before, bro!

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Actually, this here hot dog is a mixture of rabbit, antelope and pork, giving it a rich, gamey texture like I’ve never had before. You’ve got equal parts sweet and heat from the cranberry compote and the Sriracha aioli, and then I paid 50 cents extra to put it in a flapjacket, just for the hell of it.

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Now, one thing I wanted to have while in Texas was real-deal Frito pie. I had some at this BBQ joint in Toronto, but I figure they probably fancied it up a bit. This one seemed more authentic, with a rich, spicy chilli and some melted cheese overtop a bed of crunchy Fritos. They call this a side dish, but it’s really more of a meal, dude!!!

EATIN AUSTIN: The early bird gets the brisket, bro!

Now, I knew the lineup at Franklin BBQ would be insane, so I showed up early at 9 am…the place doesn’t open until 11. But I got hit with one of the longest lines they’ve seen in a while–they were already lined up around the building by 7, son!

They actually told me I wouldn’t be getting in before 2pm, at which point they’d be all sold out of turkey, pork and ribs. And they gave a guy six people behind me a Last Man Standing sign–nobody after that was guaranteed any grub!

So, did I wait in line 5 hours for brisket? You know it, bro!

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The waiting was definitely the hardest part. At one point, they called an ambulance cuz one lady was too drunk to stand; another guy got kicked out when he got to the front of the line cuz he’d been shotgunning beers all day–sucks to be you, bro! While some people treated this five-hour odyssey as a tailgate party, I was here for one reason, and one reason only: Show me the brisket!!!!

Finally got to the front of the building around 1 pm. Another 45-50 minutes until I got inside, at which point the wait was another half hour or so, and they’d just sold out of ribs ‘n turkey, so I took what I could get. Was I disappointed, though? Hell no, bro!

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Now, this was probably the best beef brisket I’ve ever had. It was super, fall-apart tender, melt-in-yer-mouth goodness. Pulled pork was nice ‘n chewy, the sausages had a good snap to ’em, but there’s no doubt the brisket was the star of the show, bro! I was kinda running on fumes at this point, but I still put away about two pounds of food–one pound of brisket alone–and you KNOW I still had room for dessert!

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They call this Lemon Chess pie. I dunno why, but it’s pretty tasty. Kinda like a meringue, but without the squishy texture. Oh, and I washed it all down with a Big Red, which is sorta like the Lone Star Beer of sodas…in the best way possible. Didn’t get outta there till just before 3, and I was maybe gonna go to a museum or check out the Capitol, but I didn’t end up doing any of that, cuz I spent the whole day at Franklin’s. At least I got this bitchin’ trucker hat to show for it, though!!!!

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EATIN AUSTIN: Heavy metal dive bars & Texas-sized doughnuts on 6th Street

So we’re hanging out at Casino el Camino, this funky little dive bar on 6th street. This place is cranking AC/DC and Iron Maiden on the jukebox, and I’m not even picking the tunes, bro! It’s like, I walk into a bar, and they’re playing “Blind in Texas” by WASP–how cool is that!?

But the kitchen is where the real magic happens. They’ve got these crazy burgers, hot dogs and fries, and they’re grilling em up right before your eyes! Check it out–that’s three-quarter pounds of beef, bro!

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They call this the Buffalo burger, and it’s like a Leon Lett fumble recovery to the tastebuds, bro! This one’s going Wide Right…into my mouth! You’ve got the thickest burger I’ve seen since that one time, in Cooperstown, a nice tangy blue cheese, grilled with Buffalo wing sauce…and no veggies, cuz who needs veggies, anyways?

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Now, on the side we’ve got some verde chili fries. So, they take some French fried potaters, slather em in cheese sauce, then stick some salsa verde on top. This dish is equal parts cheesy, spicy, and funky, son! I’m pretty sure I could eat this off a flip flop…

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But you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro! So I headed a couple blocks down the street to Voodoo Doughnuts, the legendary Portland doughnut place…but they’ve got one here now, too. I beat the lineup at Camino’s, but when I got to the doughnut shop, the line was almost out the door! And speaking of tuneage, they were playing Rush, Black Sabbath and Van Halen when I walked in…I should maybe just move here, or something.

Now, they call this the Tex Ass doughnut, and it’s freaking huge! The thing takes up the whole box, and it’s so big, I pretty much need two hands to eat it:

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Take the biggest glazed doughnut you’ve ever seen, and multiply it by three. And lemme tell ya, they put the dough in doughnut here. This pillowy bread cushion practically melts in your mouth–which is good because I could barely even chew it by the end. But you know I did finish it, bro!!!

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Guess I don’t need no breakfast tomorrow…

Top 5 Food Cities: 2. Austin

So, here’s my Keep Austin Weird story, bro. I was at this heavy metal horror movie convention, and I walked across the street to this funky coffee shop that also serves booze and has a real-deal BBQ food truck in its backyard. I was wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt and they were playing Iron Maiden on the stereo, which was totally awesome. The bartenderista tells me they’ve been playing Maiden all day, and Number of the Beast is up next. I’m like “Dude, that’s my favourite album!” and he gives me a free beer. I totally wanted to move to Austin the next day.

Man, this place has everything; breakfast tacos, fried chicken ‘n waffles, legit BBQ, real-deal Mexican… Even the food at the airport doesn’t suck!

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They call these breakfast migas, which is Texican for scrambled eggs and fried tortillas.

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You can get breakfast tacos pretty much anywhere in Austin, and they’re super-cheap, too!

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If you don’t eat so much for brunch that you don’t have room for dinner, you’re doing it wrong, dude…

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Bro, this green chili sauce is even better than Guy Fieri’s! I would so put it on a flip-flop!