Breakfast of Champions @ The Wickson Social

Now, I don’t always get up in time for breakfast, but when I do, it’s gotta be legit. So we’re hanging out at The Wickson Social, this funky little joint just offa Yonge Street, where they’ve got some wicked awesome brunch, bro! When I came here for Summerlicious, I had a pork chop that was super-delicious, so you know I’m gonna come back for some back bacon—even if it is six dollars extra.

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But for the main event, we’re talking Banoffee French Toast. It’s bananas (and bananas is good), it’s toffee, it’s nice thick slices of bread with a mascarpone whipped cream—you could put it on a flip-flop, and it would still taste good! And did I mention the duck fat home fries???

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These taters were so hot they put an alligator in yer radiator! You’ve got some nicely seasoned crispy potato, which goes great with back bacon, a little whipped cream, candied banana and French toast—this is the perfect bite right here, bro:

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I like my bacon black just like my metal!

So, we’re hanging out at Graffiti’s Bar & Grill, this funky little dive in Kensington Market. Normally, you could expect to hear all kinds of music in this joint–there’s even an old, battered piano–but on Sundays, it’s all about the ‘bangers. And no, I don’t mean bangers ‘n mash, bro!

Black Metal Brunch has been a neighbourhood staple for 13 plus years. The bar’s been blasting out heavy riffs and serving up hearty eats to long-haired freaky people every Sunday since back when Limp Bizkit was still cool…and it looks like their prices are still stuck in 2004, bro! I mean, I’m pretty sure a spread like this will set ya back at least $12.50 at Denny’s:

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They call this The Big One, and it’s only nine bucks, son! You’ve got three eggs, two types of bacon–peameal and bacon strips–toast and potatoes, with a couple pieces of fruit for dessert. And this ain’t no skinny sliver of back bacon, bro!!!

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Dude, this is like a breakfast blast beat of blasphemy in Flavourtown! The peameal is about the size of a pork chop, the eggs are scrambled up nicely, you’ve got some seasoning on the potatoes, and rye toast that’s about as black as a Norwegian dance party. All that’s missing is the pointy hat!

10 of the Most Canadian Meals

The other day, I was chowing down on a bacon poutine burger at Harvey’s, which might be the most Canadian sandwich of all-time. But the thing is, it’s only available for a limited time. So that got me thinking, what are some of the most Canadian meals across this country? We’re talking poutine, obviously, but what about P.E.I. lobster, Alberta beef and New Brunswick fiddleheads?

Now, I have been to every province in this country except Newfoundland, and I’ve eaten all kinds of outrageous, righteous, real-deal meals across the country, as well as right here in Toronto. So when it comes to dishes that best capture the essence of Canadian cuisine, I’d like to think that every province is represented here, even if half these places are in Hogtown. Check out this delicious list, bro!

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Nova Scotia Salmon Burger @ Fifth Pubhouse

The Fifth Pubhouse might be the most patriotic burger joint in this city, if not the entire country. This place has got no less than eight slammin’ sammies named after provinces and territories, including this Atlantic creation, the Nova Scotia Salmon Burger. Now that’s a beauty piece of fish, bro! They take baked salmon, top it with lettuce, tomato and a whole buncha chive mayo, and serve ‘er up with fries and coleslaw, all for just 15 bucks. That’s a whole lot cheaper than a plane ticket to Halifax!

READ MORE: And on the seventh day, he ate salmon…

 

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The Big Crack @ Smoked & Cracked

Now, I’ve had a few lobster rolls in my day, but this is probably the biggest one I’ve even seen. They literally take an entire 1.5 pound lobster, chop ‘er up and serve it all up on a hot, buttery roll, bro! It’s like a PEI lobster supper in sandwich form! Of course, all this lobster don’t come cheap–at 65 bucks (plus tax and tip), it’s probably the most expensive sandwich I’ve ever eaten…

READ MORE: This was the biggest lobster roll I’ve seen in Toronto!

 

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Lomo Saltado with Fiddleheads @ Baro

One cool thing about Canada is that we welcome all kinds of people from different countries, and they each bring their own cultural cuisine. Like Baro, this funky Peruvian joint on King West, that’s taking a Peruvian comfort-food classic, and putting a Canadian twist on it with the national vegetable of New Brunswick. Fiddlehead season is pretty short, but if you get ’em when they’re fresh, they can really kick it up a notch–especially when served beside beef tenderloin, bro!

READ MORE: LOMO arigato, Mr. Roboto!!!!

 

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La T-Rex Poutine @ La Banquise (Montreal)

There are so many killer poutines all over this country that would deserve to be mentioned here, from the wild boar poutine at the Tide & Boar in Moncton, to this honky-tonk redonkadonk lobster poutine I had once at Baton Rouge. But if there can be only one, then it would hafta be La T-Rex from La Banquise in Montreal. This place is legendary for serving up some of the best poutine in the poutine capital of Canada, and this insane-in-the-membrane version comes topped with ground beef, pepperoni, bacon and hot dogs! No wonder they didn’t name it after a stegosaurus…

READ MORE: Poutine: It’s not just for breakfast anymore…

 

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Hogtown Sandwich @ Rashers

What can be more Canadian than Canadian bacon? Rashers is probably my new favourite sandwich shop, serving up Bomb.ca bacon burgers and the best BLT in Toronto. But their signature sammy is pure Canadian simplicity–back bacon and grainy mustard on a fresh, flaky bun. It does not get any better than this, bro!

 

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Aloha Smoke @ True True Pizza

Hawaiian pizza might be Canada’s most infamous culinary creation. Created by a Greek immigrant at this funky little joint in Chatham, Ontario, way back in 1962, this pie has gone worldwide–and attracted more than its fair share of haters. Me, I don’t mind pineapple on pizza, as long as it’s got some meat to it. And at True True Pizza, they serve up this twisted take using bacon instead of ham–shut the back door, bro!

READ MORE: This Hawaiian pie-an tastes better with bacon!

 

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Loaded Surf ‘n Turf @ Loaded Pierogi

For me, when I think Winnipeg, I think pierogis. It used to be known as the Ukrainian capital of Canada, back in the day, and it’s still one of the most notable concentrations of ethnic populations in the country. Now, pierogis are just starting to become a thing in Toronto, with funky joints like Loaded Pierogi serving up some crazy takes on this Ukrainian classic–like the Loaded Surf ‘n Turf, topped with lobster, crab and steak!

READ MORE: Loaded Pierogi’s serving up surf, turf ‘n earth, son!

 

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All You Can Eat KFC (Weyburn, SK)

Now, I can’t be the only one who’s ever ordered a 16-piece bucket for one, right? If eating KFC all day seems like time well spent, then Weyburn, Saskatchewan is a little slice of paradise. This town has an AYCE KFC buffet, one of the last of its kind, and when rumours surfaced last summer than the chicken chain wanted to kill the buffet counter, even the premier of Saskatchewan stepped up in defence of this cultural icon. Which reminds me, I’m way overdue for a trip out west…

READ MORE: Save Saskatchewan’s all-you-can-eat KFC buffet!

 

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Camel and Python and Yak… Oh My! @ Fireside Grill (Czar, AB)

Speaking of small-town destinations out west, this place is next on my roadtrip. I could not even find Czar on a map of Alberta–and I grew up in Calgary–but when I heard about the Fireside Grill, this funky local joint serving up all sorts of exotic meats, well, I knew I just had to come here some day. Did I mention their chef is a dead ringer for Guy Fieri?

READ MORE: This Guy Fieri lookalike is serving up some righteous roadkill in rural Alberta!

 

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Mr. Alberta @ The Elbow Room Cafe (Vancouver)

It figures that the best breakfast in Vancouver is something named after Alberta. I stopped by this funky little joint a couple years back when I was in town for the Grey Cup, and you know I wasn’t gonna have a vegan quinoa salad! This big-time brekkie contains a 5 oz sirloin, blackened tomatoes, scrambled eggs, hash browns and jalapeno toast. And the service is something else, lemme tell ya!

READ MORE: Breakfast of Champions in Vancouver

TORONTO BEER WEEK: This beer is brought to you by Tom Green

So, we’re hanging out at The Only Café, this funky neighbourhood joint on the Danforth, just an Auston Matthews slap shot away from Donlands Station. This place is one of the original craft beer bars in Toronto, and they’ve been serving it up for more than 30 years, to boot! They’ve got 24 taps of fine local goodness—but tonight, they’re all about the Beau’s.

The local craft brewery just turned 10 years old, and to celebrate, they’re taking over 10 of the taps at The Only for one night only. You’ve got all kindsa funky local brews, from their most popular Lug Tread to a 10.5 percenter called Two Tonnes of Fun. More like two tonnes of wastey-faced, bro! So instead, I went with The Tom Green Beer, which is actually made in the image and likeness of Tom Green:

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Much to my dismay, this beer isn’t actually green—but rather, it’s blacker than a banker’s heart. A milk stout that looks like Guinness, but it’s a bit more creamy, and less coffee. Now, I really woulda loved to scarf down some sausages with this brew, but The Only has a very limited menu (except when it’s brunch time), so I had to settle for back bacon instead.

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There’s certainly nothing fancy about this sammy, son. You’ve got back bacon, cheese and some pickles on the side. They make it all in a sandwich press behind the bar, so it’s very DIY. But they did say you can bring in food from outside, so maybe next time I’ll try that funky fried-chicken joint just a couple doors down…

Today, I’m drowning my sorrows in bacon…

So, we’re hanging out at McCabe’s Irish Pub & Grill right here in Kitchener, Ontario. I was in K-town for the CMT country music festival to see my main man “Chief” Eric Church, the greatest country singer since Hank Williams Jr., last night under the hell-hot summer sun. But then it started raining alligators and catfish a couple hours before he was supposed to take the stage. There were thunderbolts and lightning, it was very, very frightening, and they decided to call the whole thing off.

Now, I never minded standing in the rain, but the last thing anyone wants is to be thunderstruck in the purple rain. So I’m a bit bummed out that Church wasn’t in session, but at least I’ve always got bacon:

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They call this the Out of This World Burger, and it’s practically from another planet. You’ve got six strips of bacon, two pieces of peameal bacon, lettuce, onion and tomato on top of a flame grilled burger inside a bakery-style bun. Bro, if there was any more bacon on this burger, it would be on Epic Meal Time!

But even eight pieces of bacon can’t ease my troubles or take away all my sadness today. There’s a tear in my beer as I type this. 😦