Tag Archives: beer

20 BEERS BETTER THAN CORONA: 20. Dos Equis

So, it’s come down to this. 20 days into Ontario’s restaurant and bar shutdown, with no end in site. Is it gonna be May before you cash me outside, or are we stuck in here until July? Either way, I know when this is over, I’m gonna need a beer — or 20, bro!!!!

20. Dos Equis

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I don’t always drink Mexican beer, but when I do…I’ll take Dos Equis over Corona any day of the week! The ol’ Double-X helped me wash down a carne asada burrito with carne asada fries at The Taco Stand when I was in Miami last year!!!

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20 BEERS BETTER THAN CORONA: 19. Menabrea Bionda

Y’know, I kinda blame Italy for getting us into this mess. When the Coronavirus came, they did nothing — and now their hospitals are overloaded, they’ve got the highest COVID-19 death rate in the world, and every other country is in lockdown, too. But even if I wouldn’t wanna visit Italy anytime soon…I’d still chug this Italian beer before taking a single sip of Corona.

19. Menabrea Bionda

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You know those European beers that all kinda taste the same, whether they’re from Poland, Portugal or Greece? This is also one of those beers. It’s tastier than, say, Molson Canadian, but you don’t remember much about it the next day. It does go pretty good with pizza, though — and I ain’t talkin’ bout Delissio, bro!

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20 BEERS BETTER THAN CORONA: 17. Hazed and Confused

Man, if Dazed and Confused, my favourite Matthew McConaughey movie, happened today, it would totally suck! They’d be like “Parties at the Moontower are cancelled until further notice. Aerosmith’s concert this summer will be rescheduled for next year.” It would be a lot cooler if you didn’t, bro!!!

But what doesn’t totally suck is this hazy Vermont-style IPA, which happens to be named after my favourite Matthew McConaughey movie…

17. Hazed and Confused

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This hazy, juicy beer has a whole lotta hops, with a nice, citrusy finish. They had it on tap two summers ago at Poor Romeo, this funky 70’s rock bar in Gerrones that has a portrait of Phil Lynott right next to its beer list! Man, I really hope that place reopens before the end of summer…

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20 BEERS BETTER THAN CORONA: 15. Sam Roberts Band Ale

Now, I’m not a huge Sam Roberts Band fan — there were a couple songs on their first album that I liked, but I haven’t listened to much of them since. However, drinking their beer is probably the closest thing I’ll come to seeing Sam Roberts, or any other band, in the flesh for the next little while…

15. Sam Roberts Band Ale

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Now, this beer might be as close to an English pub ale as Sam Roberts is to Pete Shelley (RIP), but it’s still got a pretty decent finish. I pounded a couple of these at the Black Bull, a legendary Toronto dive with a massive patio…that currently sits empty, like every other bar in the city. 😦 😦 😦

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20 BEERS BETTER THAN CORONA: 14. Tropical Mango Pale Ale

Dude, I wish I was off on vacation somewhere on a beach, on an island in the sun…not cooped up in the Catucci Cave with nothing but takeout to tide me over! That’s why today we’re looking back at a craft brewery and brewpub straight outta the Caribbean!!!

14. Tropical Mango Pale Ale

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St. John, in the U.S. Virgin Islands, is mostly beaches, forests and national park. But not too far from the ferry dock, there’s this funky little brewpub where they’re making their own beer — and this here’s the in-house special, Tropical Mango Pale Ale. Not too heavy or too hoppy, it’s brewed with real mangoes for a nice, fruity finish. Man, I think I’m starting to forget what fresh fruit even tastes like…

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20 BEERS BETTER THAN CORONA: 4. Landshark Lager

With all the bars and restaurants shut down across Ontario, I’m not wasting away in Margaritaville — or anywhere else, for that matter. But until life returns to normal, I’d rather chug this Island Style Lager than even take a sip of Corona…

4. Landshark Lager

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I’m really just a dolphin, ma’am! This light, easy-drinking, Jimmy Buffet branded beer tastes kinda like the Caribbean — as opposed to Corona, which tastes like the urinal at a Taco Bell. And you can actually buy it at The Beer Store…if they haven’t run out already!

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20 BEERS BETTER THAN CORONA: 1. Guinness

Coronavirus has shut down all bars and sit-down restaurants in Ontario as of midnight this morning, making it the worst viral outbreak named after a shitty beer since Saskatchewan came down with a bad case of Pilsner Fever on November 29, 2009. This really changes the game for Triple B, with funky joints all over this province closing their doors for now, and we don’t even know when they’ll be open again…

We’ll still be ordering takeout and delivery (Dude, this is body by takeout and delivery!), but in the meantime, we’re counting down 20 beers that are better than Corona until we can actually go out and crush some killer Burgers, Bacon and Beer again!

1. Guinness

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You KNOW I wish I was in some Irish pub slamming pints of Guinness for St. Patty’s today, bro! Especiallt at a funky joint like Bushwaller’s in Frederick, Maryland, where they’ve got a killer corned beef Reuben omelette and an Old Bay-seasoned crab dip pretzel. Did I mention all their Irish beers are 2 bucks off on Sundays???

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