Tag Archives: blue cheese burger

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: This really nice burger needs some really big rings!!!

Now that Toronto is into State of Emergency No. 3 like a bad Lou Bega number, let’s just say I’m not getting a lot of exercise these days. So when I saw that The Irv, this funky little joint in Cabbagetown, was serving up a Dad Bod Burger, I was all over that like a fat dad on a Smartie, son!!!

These are a few of my favourite things, right here. You’ve got blue cheese, bacon strips, caramelized onions and a whisky-glazed BBQ sauce, all on top of a thick, juicy patty. This burger is sooo outta bounds, it almost held a gathering of more than 10 people, bro!!!

The only thing that brings it down a bit is the thin, weak bun that was completely soggy by the time I opened the box. So instead of a 10/10, it’s maybe like a 9…

Now, when I saw you could upgrade from fries to house-cut onion rings for just two dollars more, I was all over that like a fat dad in a Speedo, bro! And man, these were like, seriously, some of the best onion rings in Toronto. They give you about a full onion’s worth, with a thick, doughy batter that really kicks things up a notch! I mean, like there are 3-4 bites of onion ring for every bite of burger in this takeout box…not that I’m complaining!!!

Man, the last time I had rings this good was in Buffalo…but who knows when I’ll even be allowed to go to Buffalo again, bro??? 😦 😦 😦

Blue cheeseburger (+ craft beer) in paradise…

So, when when that big storm hit Toronto a couple weeks back, I didn’t give a crap, cuz we’re chillin’ like a villain in the U.S. Virgin Islands, bro! Man, this place has everything: sandy beaches, Painkillers, flip-flops, wild donkeys walking down the street… it even has a Wendy’s (in St. Thomas, anyways)! But instead of slamming down a Baconator, we’re hanging out on the island of St. John, at this funky little brewpub called the Tap Room, where they’ve got this killer blue cheese burger named after one of my all-time favourite movie characters. You’re My Boy Bleu — that’s literally what it’s called!

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Dude, this burger totally reeks of funkaliciousness!!!! You’ve got a medium-rare patty that’s as thick as a hockey puck, oozing with blue cheese crumbles… But then we get to the best part–homemade bacon onion jam! I’m about to bacon jam this straight down my piehole, bro!

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Of course, we are hanging out at a craft beer bar–so you KNOW I’m not drinking gin and juice! St. John Brewers is the local beermonger, and this Tropical Mango Pale Ale is their best-seller. It’s a little malty, a little hoppy, with a nice mango finish that’s like a Buffalo Soul-jah for your tastebuds, Bro-b Marley!!!

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Of course, I can’t eat just one potato chip, and I ain’t drinkin’ just one craft beer, neither! This here Toasted Coconut Brown Ale is not too heavy, just a little sweet, with a bit of a coconut aftertaste. Man, if I pound a few more of these, I might be going streaking…

Where Wall Street would eat in Toronto

(Originally written January 25, 2014)

Yeah, so it’s taken me about a month to see The Wolf of Wall Street.  Hey, so maybe I watched American Hustle and Anchorman 2 over Christmas instead.  In any case, I had already read the books–both of them–but I still wanted to see the new Martin Scorsese flick when it was in theatres.  Hey, that guy could direct a movie about two dogs fucking, and I’d probably still pay to watch it.  OK, that does not sound right at all…

But first I had to ask myself, if Jordan Belfort was in Toronto, where would he go for lunch?  Probably Canoe or Scaramouche, maybe Harbour Sixty.  But since none of those places are close to movie theatres, I instead opted for somewhere with a bit of a Wall Street film connection.  As a matter of fact, the Smith & Wollensky scene in American Psycho was shot at The Senator, a small diner just off of Dundas Street.  I have actually been to the real Smith & Wollensky in New York, and it’s certainly a lot larger than its on-screen counterpart.  That said, The Senator serves a decent blue-cheese burger, too:

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Did I mention this place was tiny?  There were already people lined up at 11:15, and by noon, the line stretched around the corner.  I dunno guy, but it might actually be easier to get a table at Dorsia.  I bet Jordan Belfort could get us in…