4 crazy rich sandwiches (+squid on a stick!) @ Waterfront Night Market

Dude, you KNOW I’ve got a smile on my face, cuz I’m taking my fat ass to Ontario Place! Last weekend, the happiest place in Ontario played host to the Waterfront Night Market, a culinary pan-Asian invasion of epic proportions! Now, since both Burgermania and the Mac ‘n Cheese Fest moved off the island, I haven’t had much reason to come here, but when I heard about some of the stuff they were serving up, I knew I had to check it out!!!

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Now, I don’t always go out looking for bacon, but it always seems to find me. This sweet, sweet bacon slider from the Filipino bros at Tocino Boys is served on a milk bun with mustard, mayo, garlic butter…and no veggies whatsoever, just the way I like it!!!

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Yeah, it comes on a bun, but this ain’t no hot dog, bro! This bulgogi beef buldog is topped with cabbage, onions, scallions — and for two dollars more I added kim chi and torched cheese… Dude, this is body by torched cheese!!!!!

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This next dish definitely kicks the funkaliciousness up a notch! This Filipino soul food classic from my kamayan kingdom Platito combines plump ‘n juicy fried chicken with a super savoury ube waffle for this crazy take on chicken ‘n waffles — and the best part is, you can eat it with your hands!

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Now, those sandwiches were all magically delicious, but I swear the longest lines at the whole damn festival were for grilled octopus on a stick! Dude, I would eat anything you gotta bite off a big piece of wood, and when they brush it with chili sauce and add some peanuts for garnish, I totally don’t regret not getting the lamb sticks instead…

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Now, the one thing that was pretty messed about this fest is you gotta pay 20 bucks just to enter the beer garden. So, instead I’m slurping down some grapefruit green tea — don’t knock it till you try it, bro!!!

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We’ve also got some Thai iced tea, served in a plastic bag full of ice…cuz that’s even more unfriendly to the environment??

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But even after that decadent meat extravaganza, you KNOW I’ve still got room for dessert, bro! This Hong Kong bubble waffle joint had the longest lines for anything NOT served on a stick, and this s’mores ice cream waffle sandwich was so tasty, even the Tyrannosaurus Rex wants it!!!!

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Just another righteous feast in the Flavourzoac era, dino bro!!!

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Chicken schnitzel & waffles @ Otto’s Bierhalle

Now, I’m a pretty big fan of fried chicken and waffles. Dude, this is body by fried chicken and waffles! So, when I heard that Otto’s Bierhalle, this funky German joint on Queen West, was doing it up schnitzel-style, I was all over that like a Mexican fan on South Koreans at the World Cup! (Wait, too soon???)

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Now, instead of giving you one great big waffle, they throw down a four-pack of mini Belgian quarters. The waffles are nice and fluffy, with a bit of syrup on top. Chicken is super moist, not too crispy, goes good with gravy–although I did ask ’em for some hot sauce instead. And it comes with a side pomegranate-spinach salad. I guess I gotta eat that too?

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Of course, you don’t go to a German beer hall and sip on a Corona, bro! This here’s Munich Gold, a funky fresh pilsner from Hacker-Pschorr. Dude, this brew’s so legit, even the glass speaks German!!!!!

Why Waffle Double Down when you can Waffle Quadruple Down?

Now, you KNOW I love chicken and waffles bro, and I’ve definitely scarfed down my share of KFC Double Downs back in the day, so when I heard KFC was combining these two things, I was all over that like a fat kid on a quadruple chicken, double waffle sandwich:

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OK, so there’s no way I’m shoving this all down my piehole at once, even with my patented Guy Fieri hunch. But even when eaten separately, that’s more fried chicken than you can shake a fried sticken at!

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OK, now let’s break it down. These puppies are made to order, so the chicken is super hot and crispy. The waffle is really legit–nice and fluffy–and then you’ve got this sweet, sticky maple aioli oozing out from the inside. I gotta say, this sandwich is pretty outta bounds, but what’s missing here is some bacon, bro! White Brick Kitchen knows what’s up!!!

But that’s not to say I’m NOT going to eat at least seven more of these. Dude, this is body by fried chicken and waffles!!!!!!

 

WINTERLICIOUS 2018: Tacos ‘n chicken ‘n waffles…oh my!

Welp, that’s another Winterlicious in the books, and this year might have been the best one yet. Over the past two weeks, we chowed down on Brazilian BBQ, deep-dish pizza, beef brisket pie and a winner, winner steak dinner. But I just might be saving the best for last with one of my favourite comfort-food classics. I’m talking chicken ‘n waffles, son!

So, we’re hanging out at Insomnia, this funky little date night/brunch spot in The Annex. Man, I used to slam some pulled pork benedicts when I lived in this hood, bro! But since I’ve been gone, they’ve started putting it on a taco:

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Now, I can’t say this was the best taco I’ve ever had. It wasn’t even the best pulled pork taco I’ve ever had. I’m a little hot and cold on this dish…because the dish was a little hot and cold. The pork was warm, but the slaw, and some of the toppings were cold as ice, ice baby. I’m not willing to sacrifice our love over this one, son!

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But lemme tell ya, they more than made up for it with the main course. The boneless chicken thighs were plump ‘n juicy, you’ve got just the right amount of purple slaw, some sweetness from the honey maple butter, and a little bit of hot sauce. The waffles were the perfect vessel to guide this dish straight down my piehole, bro! You KNOW I scarfed it all down, and still had room for dessert!

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Now, this piece of chocolate cake wasn’t quite as impressive as the one at Wildfire Steakhouse, but it was still a pretty decent-sized slice. There’s gotta be at least three layers of chocolate here, and then you’ve got some chocolate sauce on the plate and white chocolate swirls on top… There is nothing wrong with that, at all!

12 TACOS OF CHRISTMAS: Fried chicken ‘n waffle taco

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For the ninth taco of Christmas, my Trujillo gave to me…

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A fried chicken ‘n waffle taco!

Now, I’ve had some pretty crazy tacos in my lifetime, but this one might be the most funky of the funky bunch. There’s this little joint called Cluck Clucks, down around St. Lawrence Market, where all they serve is fried chicken ‘n waffles. And last summer, after eating a piece of fried chicken and a waffle, and then a fried chicken and waffle sandwich, I still had room for this crazy culinary creation. They call it a twaco, equal parts waffle and taco, with fried chicken, crispy tortilla strips and an Asian-style dressing. When you scarf down this twaco, a Corona gets its lime, bro!!!!

READ MORE: If I had my little way, I’d eat chicken ‘n waffles every day…

 

FINAL FOUR FOOD: Four fried chickens and a waffle, son!

So we’re hanging out at Crave Waffle Sandwich Creations, this funky waffle sandwich joint in the Westgate Entertainment District. Most of the bars in the area were packed, but there were still a few seats left at this place–even with five Bud Lights for 10 bucks, bro!

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Now, this place has both kinds of waffles: sweet AND savoury, son! I went with the Southern Hospitality, which piles housemade coleslaw and lettuce on top buttermilk fried chicken strips in a maple glaze. This chicken was extra crispy, but you almost got more breading than chicken. And while the coleslaw was quite tasty, the second half of the sammy was super soggy by the time I picked it up. Still, this wasn’t the worst 11 bucks I’ve ever spent–and did I mention five beers for 10 bucks, bro???

LITTLE TOKYO: The best way to eat Uncle Tetsu’s Cheesecake

Since the last time I ate Uncle Tetsu’s cheesecake, just over a year ago, the man has really expanded his operation. He’s now got Uncle Tetsu’s Matcha Cafe right next door, and he’s opened up another shop at Union Station…so the guy’s pretty much got the public transportation market covered. But the crown jewel in Tetsu’s Toronto empire is around the corner and a couple blocks up the street. We’re talking Uncle Tetsu’s Japanese Angel Cafe, bro!

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This funky joint takes up the entire second floor at 191 Dundas West, and it’s a lot bigger than you think. The waitresses are all dressed up in maid outfits, and they’re serving up more than just coffee and cheesecake… Check out this righteous dish–Japanese chicken ‘n waffles, bro!

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Now, I should probably tell you this delish dish ain’t on the menu. Well, it is, but it’s actually two separate dishes. See, I ordered their chicken karaage appetizer and the cheddar & maple waffle from their lunch menu, but I asked ’em to bring both out at the same time. So, I put one on top of the other, poured the side sauce all over the place, and a new dish was born. I call this one the Triple J: Juicy Japanese Jams, bro! Maybe if enough people ask for it by name, it’ll become the new house specialty. 😉

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But YOU KNOW I not gonna not leave room for dessert at this place–cuz their cheesecake is literally from outer space! They call this the Lunar Cheesecake, and it’s kinda like a New York cheesecake, except you can only get it in Toronto. And man, there is so much chocolate here bro that I ain’t even complaining they didn’t give me a bigger piece. Now, I know nobody lines up outside Tetsu’s original cheesecake factory anymore, but man, I would wait for this one even longer than Mumford and Sons!

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“Tokyo, you are cleared for landing…straight down my cakehole!!!!”