Tag Archives: Chinese food

Chinatown meets Flavourtown at this funky Asian tapas joint!!!!

Now, we’re no strangers to R&D, this Asian fusion joint that’s been bringing some upscale funk to downtown Chinatown. But now there’s this new funky joint up the street that might be giving them a run for their renminbi — this is Bitter Melon, bro!

We’re starting off with a glass of Lee Ho Fook, a drink named after my favourite place to get a big dish of beef chow mein, Bro-ren Zevon! This crafty cocktail contains El Gobernador, baiju, lychee and yogurt soda(!), filled with ice and topped with a lime leaf. Tart and tangy, but quite refreshing.

You can’t actually get chow mein here, but they do stuff some beef in these potstickers, along with water chestnuts. Dude, that’s chest-nuts!!!!

For relaxing times, they’re making this Shennong Old Fashioned with Suntory whisky, cane sugar and jasmine tea. And one big-ass ice cube, apparently. This drink can lip my stockings any time, bro!!!!

One of the signature dishes at this place is baby octopus, which comes on a bed of bitter melon. These succulent little sea monsters taste even better with a great big dab of that yuzu donkey sauce, son!!!!

Also sold separately is this chewy pork belly, with a nice little slaw-sa of pineapple, jalapeno and cilantro. Pig sooooooey!

Who needs a lazy Susan when you’ve got a Lay Zi Fizz, son? This sweet young thing has rum, jackfruit, lemon and seltzer, topped with a coconut yuzu foam. Dude, that’s coco-nuts!!!!

Of course, every good Asian fusion joint has some kind of chicken wings, and this place is no exception. These wings are tossed in Maggi sauce, with garlic powder and black pepper, and topped with sesame seeds. It’s kinda like honey garlic wings, without the honey. Good thing I saved these till the end…

Of course, we’re not eating wings with a rum and jackfruit cocktail — this is Triple B, after all. So I’m glad they’ve got Collective Arts Life in the Clouds on tap, which is my second favourite light IPA. (Blood Light FTW!) A couple more of these and I might not need dessert…

But you KNOW I’ve always got room for a Korean corn dog, bro! This good boy is equal parts cheese and Taiwanese sausage, smothered in honey mustard and hot sauce. Can I get like four more to go????

Eating all the non-spicy things @ Mimi Chinese

Dude, Mimi Chinese has been known as one of the fanciest, funkiest Chinese food places in the city ever since it opened — they’re pretty fly for a white guy, bro! And while my philosophy on food is sharing means you couldn’t finish it yourself, and you weren’t trying hard enough… when it comes to Chinese, you’re really supposed to order more than one thing. I mean, that’s why they put the spinning wheel in the middle of the table, right?

Now, Mimi’s menu has all sorts of spicy Sichuan dishes that would send this white guy straight to the Poo Ping Palace, so we’re gonna avoid the $110 Chef’s Menu that gives you a little bit of everything, and stick to the non-spicy stuff. But that still gives you plenty of options here — and you end up spending a lot less per person in the process!

Round 1 is all about seafood, with scallops, seabream and shrimp toast (oh my!) along with some pork and scallion dumplings, just to switch things up a bit. The standout has gotta be the shrimp toast, though — you’ve got some greasy greasy frybread stuffed with big chunks of shrimp, topped with sesame seeds and served with a side of hot mustard (I stayed away from the hot stuff).

But now we’re about to kick it up a notch with char siu pork, stuffed chicken wings and a four-foot belt noodle, which they cut into pieces at the table. The noodle wasn’t spicy, but the the chili oil on top made my tongue tingle (in a good way). And man, if they ever had 25 cent wing night, I’d be there all night long for those wings stuffed with rice and mushrooms, son!!!!

This Greatest Hits album in Flavourtown keeps going with some black pepper beef, braised eggplant with garlic sauce (Yu Xiang Qie Zi) and a Supreme Fried Rice that’s packing shrimp, scallops, eggs and Chinese sausage. But the star of the show has gotta be the beef, bro! You’ve got an 18 oz boneless ribeye, chopped up into little pieces, cooked in black pepper sauce and topped with onions. This dish alone will cost ya a cool hundred, but split six ways, it’s only $16.34. 😉

But you KNOW the Triple B Road Krew has always got room for dessert, bro! And we’re ordering everything on the dessert menu — mango pudding, steamed cake with custard and black sesame ice cream. Now, none of these desserts would go in my all-time top 10, but when you pour the custard onto the cake, then I eat them both up!!!!!!!!!

These fguys also own Sunnys Chinese in Kensington Market, and how’s this for cold tea? Their Sunny G ginger sour is perfect with Chinese food — light, tart and refreshing. The ginger is definitely there, but unlike when you accidentally eat a whole piece of ginger in a beef hot pot, it’s not overpowering at all. Now put that in your lunchbox and drink it, son!!!!!!

Dim sum for dinner @ Dasha!

Now, you KNOW I loves me some dim sum, bro! Dude, I once doubled down on chicken corn soup, shrimp rolls, shrimp cakes and siu mai from Dim Sum King — and that was just for breakfast! Of course, dim sum is usually the first meal of the day, so when I saw that Dasha, this funky joint on King West, was doing dim sum for dinner, I figured I should probably check it out…

Dude, these steamed pork buns were actually steaming, bro! (They put some dry ice on the plate below to give all their dim sum dishes that extra-smokey effect.) These were a bit different than your typical BBQ pork buns, though — for one thing, the pork wasn’t BBQ, but rather a ground pork mix that might make more sense in a spring roll. But they don’t actually have spring rolls on the menu, so…

Ain’t nothing wrong with these har gow, doe! These simple shrimp dumplings were coming in so hot, they’ll melt your face off — you almost hafta take ’em outta the basket to let ’em cool down before you chow down. I guess some people might need 2-3 bites to finish these, but you KNOW they’re heading down my piehole whole, bro!!!!

Now, it’s time for something a little bit different. Siu mai might be one of the most classic dim sum dishes, but here at Dasha, they’re funking it up a notch with these scallop siu mai. Instead of pork, they double down on the seafood with shrimp and scallops — dude, I don’t think I’ve eaten this much shrimp since that one time, at Dim Sum King…

And they don’t even have dessert here, except for fortune cookies. My fortune said “Be open for an exciting opportunity…in bed!” 😛

GRAND REOPENING: Whole lotta lobster @ Fishman Lobster Clubhouse

Now, I don’t always go to Scarborough, so when I do, you KNOW it’s gotta be big, bro! We’re talking a nine-course Chinese seafood extravaganza, with 15 pounds of lobster, 4.5 pounds of crab, plus beef, fish, fried oysters, sweet & sour pork…and we might even have room for dessert. This is Fishman Lobster Clubhouse!!!

This funky Finch Ave. joint is the place to be on Fridays, with tanks stacked with fresh seafood and plates piled high with lobster. They even let you take a selfie with your crab before they cook it (crabfie?) — but I didn’t wanna get crab juice on my tank top, so instead we’re diving right in with the soup of the day:

Chicken corn chowder is a Chinese food classic…although it seems like they forgot the chicken with this one. But hey, it’s not like we don’t have about 27 pounds of meat coming right up!!!!

We’re starting with another Chinese staple, sweet & sour pork. Dude, this is body by sweet & sour pork! The first of many deep-fried dishes, these tangy little flavour nuggets got things started off right. Oh, and the little baby gherkins really kicked things up a notch!!!

Now, here’s a dish I never dun seen before — fried oysters in honey pepper sauce. Oysters aren’t my favourite sea creature, but man, if you batter and fry ’em, I’d even chow down prairie oysters, son!!!!

Now, here’s a dish where I don’t hafta think twice — diced beef tenderloin with garlic, backed with some fried rice! Man, I could eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner, bro!!!!

But now we’re getting into some of the stars of the show…like this steamed double bass in soy sauce. Dude, this dish is like a Nikki Sixx bass solo in Flavourtown!!!

Not gonna lie, they pile this crab with ginger and green onion pretty high…but b-b-b-b-baby, you ain’t seen n-n-nothing yet!!!!

In case you’re wondering what 15 pounds of deep-fried lobster looks like…whoomp, there it is! This dish was very similar to the Typhoon Crispy Lobster Mountain I scaled from Dine & Dim — except it’s like 15 times taller! They cut the lobster up into little pieces, and you pretty much had to use your hands to tear it apart (at least they gave you plastic gloves, cuz there weren’t extra napkins). But if you got a nice piece of warm, tender claw meat, that’s the ticket, right there!

Now, we obviously didn’t have much room for dessert after such a massive smorgasbord-board of flavour…but a coupla little macarons oughtta do’er.

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: I’m living on Chinese duck…

Man, it’s been a while since I’ve been to Lai Wah Heen, the fancy Chinese place inside the Doubletree Hotel. It’s known as one of the top dim sum joints downtown, and they’re even serving up a real-deal, nine-course meal, but you can’t really do dim sum on a patio, bro — they don’t even do outdoor dining at all. But they do have a pretty extensive takeout menu, so before the DoorDash Premium Restaurant discount ran out (it ended yesterday), I figured I’d head on over for some grab-and-go stir-fried BBQ duckling:

Now, the menu said this duck was BBQed, but you couldn’t really tell — the meat has the same texture as beef or chicken after it’s been cooked in the wok. You’ve also got a few veggies here, like carrot, onion and bell peppers, along with some ginger…but what makes it is the sticky rice.

Sticky rice is definitely one of my favourite dim sum dishes, so when I saw it on the takeout menu, I knew I had to take some home. Instead of one big lotus leaf, they actually give you two smaller portions, each wrapped in a leaf, with pieces of pork, mushroom and sausage inside. It’s not quite the same as getting it off a dim sum cart, but until we move into Phase 6 or 7, or whenever they actually allow indoor dim sum dining, I can live with this for now. Patience, young grasshopper, eh?

Speaking of which, I used one of those funky “30% off orders of $50 or more” discounts from Uber Eats to pick up a buncha Big Rock beers straight from the brewery. So if you notice a lot more Big Rock in my future blog posts, that would be why. Plus, you can’t go wrong with Grasshopper, which was probably the first craft beer I’d ever had, back in the day… Who needs Bud Light when you can have Big Rock and sunshine, Darius Bro-ker???

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: 2-for-1 dim sum, son!!!

Now, the dim sum snobs all over this city will tell you that for real-deal, authentic dim sum, you gotta go up to Markham or Richmond Hill. But hey, those places are in lockdown just like we are, and it’s not like they deliver all the way to Downtown Flavourtown. On the other hand, I’ve had some pretty decent dim sum downtown at Dim Sum King, so when I heard they were doing a two-for-one special on Uber Eats, I had to get two of everything.

We’re starting off with two containers of Mashed Chicken Cream Corn Thick Soup, which is like Chinese chicken soup for the soul, son! Now, I probably didn’t need to eat two orders of this, but hey, when they’re two for one, that’s what I call a Good Deal, Jimmy Bro Yang!!!

Now, these Deep Fried Shrimp Rolls don’t need much of an explanation. It’s crispy like a spring roll, but on the inside, there is only shrimp. Man, I could scarf at least six of these…which just so happens to be how many are in this 2-for-1 order, bro!!!

Now, since there’s no such thing as too much shrimp, I also doubled down on some Pan Fried Chives & Shrimp Cakes. These deep-fried dumplings were just stuffed with shrimp, alongside enough green onions to make sure I got at least one serving of veggies this week.

Of course, you can’t have dim sum without siu mai, you guys! These steamed pork/beef dumplings stayed nice ‘n warm in the plastic containers…except maybe toward the end, since, y’know, I was eating like 27 other things at once.

Now, I didn’t really have room for dessert, but I figured that a coupla fortune cookies couldn’t hurt. And it turns out my fortune came true — “You will be taking a giant dump soon!”

Just another socially distanced meal for one in Flavourtown, son!!!!!!!!

PATIO LIT EATS: I’m living on Chinese broc, all my best things are in woks…

Now, you KNOW I don’t eat a whole lotta veggies bro, but if there’s one kind I don’t mind sometimes, it’s Chinese broccoli. Not only does it remind me of my second-favourite Ramones tune, but there’s something about the way they cook it in the wok, with the teriyaki sauce, that makes it pretty darn tasty…

So, we’re hanging out at Dasha, this funky, upscale Chinese joint that’s down an alley off of King Street. Apparently, they’ve even got a karaoke bar on the second floor…but since they’re only open for outdoor dining, we’re gonna hafta stick to eating!

What, you didn’t think this blog was only about broccoli, bro!? Nah, it’s just a side dish for their Mongolian-style steak! You’ve got a 16-oz prime rib, grilled to perfection, with some edible flowers and a black truffle sauce — I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Holy fuck, I just ate a whole duck!!!

Now, I’ve definitely had a few funky duck dishes in my day, but when I heard that R&D, this Asian fusion joint in downtown Chinatown, was delivering what they call The Best Duck in the City, you KNOW I had to check it out! Thing is, they don’t just give you a duck breast, or a duck leg — they’re serving up the whole thing, which means you need at least two takeout containers just for the duck alone:

Of course, they aren’t just giving you the bird — there’s also a whole pile of cucumbers, some leeks, a container of garlic hoisin sauce, and a whole buncha steamed baos to stuff ’em in. Put it together, and what do you got? Dippity duckity do, bro!!!

OK, now let’s break it down. This might actually be the best duck in the city — the bird is super-tender, melt-in-your-mouth goodness. Then you’ve got some crunch from the cukes, a little kick from the hoisin, and a nice puffy, doughy vessel to pack ’em all into. I could eat at least eight of these — wait, actually I did!!!

But we’re saving the best for last with a double duck leg takedown! Dude, this meat was so tender, it practically falls off the bone. So much richness, and not very fatty — I was pretty full when I finished all this, but not so much that I was slowing down. Still, even if it didn’t fill me up as much as my BBQ dinner for one, at $90, it was the most expensive takeout order I’ve ever made…

Now, while I’m scarfing down all that duck, I figured I could use a little goose — we’re talking Goose Island, son!

So I went for a Dubbel Whammy, this tasty Belgian Dubbel from the Goose Island Toronto Brewhouse. You’ve got a nice, rich, molasses flavour, but not too heavy at a shade under 7%. And Goose Island is doing free same-day delivery for orders over 20 dollars, which makes this another Delivery Double Down in Flavourtown!!!!!!!

Hot pot @ Liuyishou? Don’t mind if I do!

So, we’re hanging out at Liuyishou Hot Pot, this funky joint right in the heart of Downtown Chinatown. This place is like the OG of DIY Chinese cuisine, with thousands of locations all over the world — and they’re serving it up Chongqing style, which means that it’s really spicy. Me, I can’t handle the heat, so I went with two broths from the non-spicy side — mushroom on the one hand, and corn and pork rib on the other.

Now, when it comes to meat & seafood, this place is serving up all you can eat for like 40 bucks, bro! You’ve got lamb, you’ve got beef, you’ve got mussels, fish balls, peel ‘n eat shrimp, baby cuttlefish… Baby cuttle-whaa???

Dude, this Baby Yoda in Flavourtown is TheBomb.ca, bro! It’s kinda chewy like calamari, with the legs adding some extra kick… I could slam, like, 17 of these!!!

But what makes it is the beef tongue. No matter what side of the bowl I cooked it on, it was done in 30 seconds, and had the texture of the well-done piece of prime rib at the end. Man, this tongue’s so good, I gotta lick it up, lick it up, whoa-oh-oh, bro!!!!!!!!!

Chugging some drunken garlic shrimp @ Chi Dim Sum

Dude, beer and garlic are two of my favourite things, so if you combine them with shrimp, and serve it all up on a flatbread, then you know I’m all over that like white on a $2.75 side of rice! We’re hanging out at Chi Dim Sum & Asian, this funky little joint on Yonge, close enough to Eglinton that you can smell the construction. Now, you might be asking what kind of Asian? Well, this place has everything from soup dumplings to green curry to Korean beef ribs, and even this funky opening act in Flavourtown, General Tao Chicken Bao:

Now, if you like sauce, this here’s your jam. They pretty much smother everything in the sticky General Tao sauce — man, you could put that on a carrot, and it would still taste good! But I was not expecting thinly sliced chicken breast here. I was looking for something more like the deep-fried crunchiness of the General Tao in my neighbourhood, right next to Downtown Flavourtown. This chicken was more like it’s from a distant suburb or something…

But hey, I came here to do two things: drink some beer, and eat some shrimp — and we’re almost outta Tsingtao, bro! These Drunken Garlic Shrimp are plump and juicy, with just the right amount of sauce. They say they’re sauteed in garlic, butter and beer, which just might be the name of my new cooking show. Couldn’t really taste the booze, but that didn’t stop me from polishing off a whole wooden paddle of these bad boys!

Now, at this point you’re probably asking, after slamming 17 shrimp, could he still have room for dessert? Oh it’s true, it’s damn true, Kurt Bro-ngle!!!

Now, this dish right here has gotta be a gold medallist at the Flavourtown Olympics in the most righteous dessert category. Say hello to ma lil’ friend, deep-fried banana split! You’ve got ice cream, you’ve got chocolate sauce, even a couple strawberries on top…and the bananas are deep-fried in a crispy golden batter, for that ooey, gooey taste on the inside. Dude, this split is bananas… and bananas is good!!!!

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