Tag Archives: Chinese food

Dim sum for dinner @ Dasha!

Now, you KNOW I loves me some dim sum, bro! Dude, I once doubled down on chicken corn soup, shrimp rolls, shrimp cakes and siu mai from Dim Sum King — and that was just for breakfast! Of course, dim sum is usually the first meal of the day, so when I saw that Dasha, this funky joint on King West, was doing dim sum for dinner, I figured I should probably check it out…

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Dude, these steamed pork buns were actually steaming, bro! (They put some dry ice on the plate below to give all their dim sum dishes that extra-smokey effect.) These were a bit different than your typical BBQ pork buns, though — for one thing, the pork wasn’t BBQ, but rather a ground pork mix that might make more sense in a spring roll. But they don’t actually have spring rolls on the menu, so…

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Ain’t nothing wrong with these har gow, doe! These simple shrimp dumplings were coming in so hot, they’ll melt your face off — you almost hafta take ’em outta the basket to let ’em cool down before you chow down. I guess some people might need 2-3 bites to finish these, but you KNOW they’re heading down my piehole whole, bro!!!!

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Now, it’s time for something a little bit different. Siu mai might be one of the most classic dim sum dishes, but here at Dasha, they’re funking it up a notch with these scallop siu mai. Instead of pork, they double down on the seafood with shrimp and scallops — dude, I don’t think I’ve eaten this much shrimp since that one time, at Dim Sum King

And they don’t even have dessert here, except for fortune cookies. My fortune said “Be open for an exciting opportunity…in bed!” 😛

GRAND REOPENING: Whole lotta lobster @ Fishman Lobster Clubhouse

Now, I don’t always go to Scarborough, so when I do, you KNOW it’s gotta be big, bro! We’re talking a nine-course Chinese seafood extravaganza, with 15 pounds of lobster, 4.5 pounds of crab, plus beef, fish, fried oysters, sweet & sour pork…and we might even have room for dessert. This is Fishman Lobster Clubhouse!!!

This funky Finch Ave. joint is the place to be on Fridays, with tanks stacked with fresh seafood and plates piled high with lobster. They even let you take a selfie with your crab before they cook it (crabfie?) — but I didn’t wanna get crab juice on my tank top, so instead we’re diving right in with the soup of the day:

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Chicken corn chowder is a Chinese food classic…although it seems like they forgot the chicken with this one. But hey, it’s not like we don’t have about 27 pounds of meat coming right up!!!!

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We’re starting with another Chinese staple, sweet & sour pork. Dude, this is body by sweet & sour pork! The first of many deep-fried dishes, these tangy little flavour nuggets got things started off right. Oh, and the little baby gherkins really kicked things up a notch!!!

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Now, here’s a dish I never dun seen before — fried oysters in honey pepper sauce. Oysters aren’t my favourite sea creature, but man, if you batter and fry ’em, I’d even chow down prairie oysters, son!!!!

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Now, here’s a dish where I don’t hafta think twice — diced beef tenderloin with garlic, backed with some fried rice! Man, I could eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner, bro!!!!

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But now we’re getting into some of the stars of the show…like this steamed double bass in soy sauce. Dude, this dish is like a Nikki Sixx bass solo in Flavourtown!!!

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Not gonna lie, they pile this crab with ginger and green onion pretty high…but b-b-b-b-baby, you ain’t seen n-n-nothing yet!!!!

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In case you’re wondering what 15 pounds of deep-fried lobster looks like…whoomp, there it is! This dish was very similar to the Typhoon Crispy Lobster Mountain I scaled from Dine & Dim — except it’s like 15 times taller! They cut the lobster up into little pieces, and you pretty much had to use your hands to tear it apart (at least they gave you plastic gloves, cuz there weren’t extra napkins). But if you got a nice piece of warm, tender claw meat, that’s the ticket, right there!

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Now, we obviously didn’t have much room for dessert after such a massive smorgasbord-board of flavour…but a coupla little macarons oughtta do’er.

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: I’m living on Chinese duck…

Man, it’s been a while since I’ve been to Lai Wah Heen, the fancy Chinese place inside the Doubletree Hotel. It’s known as one of the top dim sum joints downtown, and they’re even serving up a real-deal, nine-course meal, but you can’t really do dim sum on a patio, bro — they don’t even do outdoor dining at all. But they do have a pretty extensive takeout menu, so before the DoorDash Premium Restaurant discount ran out (it ended yesterday), I figured I’d head on over for some grab-and-go stir-fried BBQ duckling:

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Now, the menu said this duck was BBQed, but you couldn’t really tell — the meat has the same texture as beef or chicken after it’s been cooked in the wok. You’ve also got a few veggies here, like carrot, onion and bell peppers, along with some ginger…but what makes it is the sticky rice.

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Sticky rice is definitely one of my favourite dim sum dishes, so when I saw it on the takeout menu, I knew I had to take some home. Instead of one big lotus leaf, they actually give you two smaller portions, each wrapped in a leaf, with pieces of pork, mushroom and sausage inside. It’s not quite the same as getting it off a dim sum cart, but until we move into Phase 6 or 7, or whenever they actually allow indoor dim sum dining, I can live with this for now. Patience, young grasshopper, eh?

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Speaking of which, I used one of those funky “30% off orders of $50 or more” discounts from Uber Eats to pick up a buncha Big Rock beers straight from the brewery. So if you notice a lot more Big Rock in my future blog posts, that would be why. Plus, you can’t go wrong with Grasshopper, which was probably the first craft beer I’d ever had, back in the day… Who needs Bud Light when you can have Big Rock and sunshine, Darius Bro-ker???

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: 2-for-1 dim sum, son!!!

Now, the dim sum snobs all over this city will tell you that for real-deal, authentic dim sum, you gotta go up to Markham or Richmond Hill. But hey, those places are in lockdown just like we are, and it’s not like they deliver all the way to Downtown Flavourtown. On the other hand, I’ve had some pretty decent dim sum downtown at Dim Sum King, so when I heard they were doing a two-for-one special on Uber Eats, I had to get two of everything.

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We’re starting off with two containers of Mashed Chicken Cream Corn Thick Soup, which is like Chinese chicken soup for the soul, son! Now, I probably didn’t need to eat two orders of this, but hey, when they’re two for one, that’s what I call a Good Deal, Jimmy Bro Yang!!!

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Now, these Deep Fried Shrimp Rolls don’t need much of an explanation. It’s crispy like a spring roll, but on the inside, there is only shrimp. Man, I could scarf at least six of these…which just so happens to be how many are in this 2-for-1 order, bro!!!

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Now, since there’s no such thing as too much shrimp, I also doubled down on some Pan Fried Chives & Shrimp Cakes. These deep-fried dumplings were just stuffed with shrimp, alongside enough green onions to make sure I got at least one serving of veggies this week.

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Of course, you can’t have dim sum without siu mai, you guys! These steamed pork/beef dumplings stayed nice ‘n warm in the plastic containers…except maybe toward the end, since, y’know, I was eating like 27 other things at once.

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Now, I didn’t really have room for dessert, but I figured that a coupla fortune cookies couldn’t hurt. And it turns out my fortune came true — “You will be taking a giant dump soon!”

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Just another socially distanced meal for one in Flavourtown, son!!!!!!!!

PATIO LIT EATS: I’m living on Chinese broc, all my best things are in woks…

Now, you KNOW I don’t eat a whole lotta veggies bro, but if there’s one kind I don’t mind sometimes, it’s Chinese broccoli. Not only does it remind me of my second-favourite Ramones tune,  but there’s something about the way they cook it in the wok, with the teriyaki sauce, that makes it pretty darn tasty…

So, we’re hanging out at Dasha, this funky, upscale Chinese joint that’s down an alley off of King Street. Apparently, they’ve even got a karaoke bar on the second floor…but since they’re only open for outdoor dining, we’re gonna hafta stick to eating!

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What, you didn’t think this blog was only about broccoli, bro!? Nah, it’s just a side dish for their Mongolian-style steak! You’ve got a 16-oz prime rib, grilled to perfection, with some edible flowers and a black truffle sauce — I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!

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TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Holy fuck, I just ate a whole duck!!!

Now, I’ve definitely had a few funky duck dishes in my day, but when I heard that R&D, this Asian fusion joint in downtown Chinatown, was delivering what they call The Best Duck in the City, you KNOW I had to check it out! Thing is, they don’t just give you a duck breast, or a duck leg — they’re serving up the whole thing, which means you need at least two takeout containers just for the duck alone:

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Of course, they aren’t just giving you the bird — there’s also a whole pile of cucumbers, some leeks, a container of garlic hoisin sauce, and a whole buncha steamed baos to stuff ’em in. Put it together, and what do you got? Dippity duckity do, bro!!!

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OK, now let’s break it down. This might actually be the best duck in the city — the bird is super-tender, melt-in-your-mouth goodness. Then you’ve got some crunch from the cukes, a little kick from the hoisin, and a nice puffy, doughy vessel to pack ’em all into. I could eat at least eight of these — wait, actually I did!!!

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But we’re saving the best for last with a double duck leg takedown! Dude, this meat was so tender, it practically falls off the bone. So much richness, and not very fatty — I was pretty full when I finished all this, but not so much that I was slowing down. Still, even if it didn’t fill me up as much as my BBQ dinner for one, at $90, it was the most expensive takeout order I’ve ever made…

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Now, while I’m scarfing down all that duck, I figured I could use a little goose — we’re talking Goose Island, son!

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So I went for a Dubbel Whammy, this tasty Belgian Dubbel from the Goose Island Toronto Brewhouse. You’ve got a nice, rich, molasses flavour, but not too heavy at a shade under 7%. And Goose Island is doing free same-day delivery for orders over 20 dollars, which makes this another Delivery Double Down in Flavourtown!!!!!!!

Hot pot @ Liuyishou? Don’t mind if I do!

So, we’re hanging out at Liuyishou Hot Pot, this funky joint right in the heart of Downtown Chinatown. This place is like the OG of DIY Chinese cuisine, with thousands of locations all over the world — and they’re serving it up Chongqing style, which means that it’s really spicy. Me, I can’t handle the heat, so I went with two broths from the non-spicy side — mushroom on the one hand, and corn and pork rib on the other.

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Now, when it comes to meat & seafood, this place is serving up all you can eat for like 40 bucks, bro! You’ve got lamb, you’ve got beef, you’ve got mussels, fish balls, peel ‘n eat shrimp, baby cuttlefish… Baby cuttle-whaa???

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Dude, this Baby Yoda in Flavourtown is TheBomb.ca, bro! It’s kinda chewy like calamari, with the legs adding some extra kick… I could slam, like, 17 of these!!!

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But what makes it is the beef tongue. No matter what side of the bowl I cooked it on, it was done in 30 seconds, and had the texture of the well-done piece of prime rib at the end. Man, this tongue’s so good, I gotta lick it up, lick it up, whoa-oh-oh, bro!!!!!!!!!

Chugging some drunken garlic shrimp @ Chi Dim Sum

Dude, beer and garlic are two of my favourite things, so if you combine them with shrimp, and serve it all up on a flatbread, then you know I’m all over that like white on a $2.75 side of rice! We’re hanging out at Chi Dim Sum & Asian, this funky little joint on Yonge, close enough to Eglinton that you can smell the construction. Now, you might be asking what kind of Asian? Well, this place has everything from soup dumplings to green curry to Korean beef ribs, and even this funky opening act in Flavourtown, General Tao Chicken Bao:

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Now, if you like sauce, this here’s your jam. They pretty much smother everything in the sticky General Tao sauce — man, you could put that on a carrot, and it would still taste good! But I was not expecting thinly sliced chicken breast here. I was looking for something more like the deep-fried crunchiness of the General Tao in my neighbourhood, right next to Downtown Flavourtown. This chicken was more like it’s from a distant suburb or something…

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But hey, I came here to do two things: drink some beer, and eat some shrimp — and we’re almost outta Tsingtao, bro! These Drunken Garlic Shrimp are plump and juicy, with just the right amount of sauce. They say they’re sauteed in garlic, butter and beer, which just might be the name of my new cooking show. Couldn’t really taste the booze, but that didn’t stop me from polishing off a whole wooden paddle of these bad boys!

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Now, at this point you’re probably asking, after slamming 17 shrimp, could he still have room for dessert? Oh it’s true, it’s damn true, Kurt Bro-ngle!!!

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Now, this dish right here has gotta be a gold medallist at the Flavourtown Olympics in the most righteous dessert category. Say hello to ma lil’ friend, deep-fried banana split! You’ve got ice cream, you’ve got chocolate sauce, even a couple strawberries on top…and the bananas are deep-fried in a crispy golden batter, for that ooey, gooey taste on the inside. Dude, this split is bananas… and bananas is good!!!!

All You Can Eat Asian @ Spring Rolls

Now, my motto’s always been “Why only eat some, when you can eat all?” So we’re hanging out at Spring Rolls, right at Yonge and Dundas, where you can get all you can eat Asian food for just 28 bucks, bro! And we’re not just talking sushi, we’re talking dim sum, bulgogi, calamari, lamb chops… and a whole lotta cupcakes for dessert! OK, now let’s break it down:

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This plateful of deep-fried goodness includes Japanese gyoza, deep-fried scallop cakes, and a beef satay skewer with a very uneven sauce distribution… But that’s not all we’re frying up here:

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Holy Octopus Balls, Batman! This takoyaki was so hot it almost melted my face off!!!

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Now here’s something I’ve never even seen before — they take a wonton, stuff it with cream cheese, and then drop it in the fryer. Man, the only way this would be better is if they used nacho cheese, bro!

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Of course, we’ve always got room for some calamari. Dude, this is body by calamari!

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Now, I guess we should probably order some sushi. On the right, we’ve got a salmon avocado roll, and then on the left, that’s a green dragon roll — crab meat, avocado and cucumber, with more avocado on top! Who needs a cherry when you can have avocado on top???

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But now we’re about to funk it up a notch, homes! This spider roll, spider roll does whatever a spider roll does — it’s got deep-fried soft shell crab, with some regular crab, avocado, cucumber and mayo… It’s like a Tobey Maguire upside-down kiss in Flavourtown!!!

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Now, I know at this point you’re probably asking “Where’s the beef, bro?” Well, it’s right here, son! This sizzling bulgogi beef is so chewy, you could pull it apart with a fork… Man, I could eat like 17 of these!

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But that’s not the only thing they’re sizzlin’ at Spring Rolls, son! This honey ginger chicken wasn’t quite as spicy as advertised…but you KNOW it’s still heading straight down my piehole!!!

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Now, here’s something I wasn’t expecting. Imagine having steak and lamb, and lamb and steak. Imagine having both of them, on just one plate… OK, so both of these pieces were well beyond medium rare, but they can still tag team my taste buds any day, bro!

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Now, if you like your Chinese food deep-fried and saucy — dude, Deep Fried ‘n Saucy is my dating profile handle! — then this Tango Mango Chicken is for you. You’ve got crunchy, crispy bird, mango, sweet, sweet onion and bell peppers, sauteed in a house special citrus tango mango sauce. Dude, you could put that on a flip-flop, and it would still taste good!!!!

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Of course, even after slamming all those Asian taste sensations, we’ve still got room for dessert. Mini brownies, mini creme brulees, and five different kinds of mini cupcakes. The ones with the Oreos on top were my Flavourtown favourites…

 

Fancy nine-course Chinese feast @ Lai Wah Heen

Now, it’s definitely not every day that I pay over 100 bucks for Chinese food–that’s like Dim Sum Gone Wild, bro! But Lai Wah Heen, one of the most well-known Hong Kong style joints in Toronto, isn’t just known for dim sum. They’ve also serving up multi-person, multi-dish gourmet dinners, with enough food for 10 people…or four Hungry, Hungry Hippos in Flavourtown!!!

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We’re starting off with some soup, a tasty combo of crab meat and bird’s nest. Apparently, you don’t wanna know what bird’s nest is made out of…but it’s still pretty darn tasty!!!

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Next up, we’ve got sea cucumber stuffed with shrimp mousse. First time eating sea cucumber — they say this slimy snail has to be marinated forever to even make it edible. But add some shrimp, and a shrimp roe sauce, and it’s more than just edible…it’s magically delicious!!!

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Now, speaking of shrimp… Right here, we’ve got jumbo prawns and scallops, served up on a bed of crisp snow peas — nothing wrong with that at all!!!

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Next up, it’s time for some Chickity China, the Chinese chicken! This bird is practically swimming in a truffle-scented oyster sauce… But baby, eat this chicken slow, it’s full of all them little bones!!!!

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Speaking of little bones…This dish of exploding fish guts with green stuff will have you picking your teeth like a hillbilly picking a banjo in Alabama, bro!!!

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But now it’s time for the main event: Wok-baked lobster in a sticky-sweet soya sauce! This dish is sooo finger-licking good, Colonel Slamders!!!

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Now, at this point I think they probably wanted to get rid of us, so they served up two dishes at once. On the left, you’ve got some righteous shrimp dumplings in a clear soup broth, and on the left, the real star of the show, foie gras duck fried rice. Yes, you read that right. You don’t get the texture of the foie, but it definitely adds to the flavour — this is one of the top five rice dishes I’ve ever had, bro!!!

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Now, in all that commotion back there, I’m not sure if we had eight dishes, or only seven. But that doesn’t mean we ain’t still got room for dessert, son! This trio of tasty Chinese treats includes a sesame ball, sweet red bean soup and a strawberry pastry roll. You know my motto’s always been why have just one dessert when you can have three, right???