Tag Archives: deep fried pickles

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Crab cake on a bun, son!

Now, I’m no stranger to crab cakes, but I don’t usually think of them as takeout food. So when I found out that Fresco’s, this funky fish ‘n chips shack in Kensington Market, was serving up a real-deal crab cake po boy, you KNOW I had to check it out, bro!!!

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What we’ve got here is not one, but two crabby patties, stacked up and coming in hot, with some cheddar cheese and coleslaw on a bakery bun. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, son! Now, this dish is supposed to come with fries, but for a few dollars more, I funked it up a notch with some deep-fried pickles:

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These bad boys were pretty much on par with the Pickle Fuckers I ordered from Mooby’s a couple weeks back. Hot, crispy and juicy, with a side of chipotle for a little extra kick. I could slam at least 20 of these, bro!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Cow Tipper with One Ring to Rule Them All…

Dude, Clerks II was my second-favourite Clerks movie, so when I found out that Kevin Smith was bringing Mooby’s to Toronto as a pop-up, you KNOW I had to check it out, bro! Of course, I couldn’t actually go there, cuz we’re in Lockdown II, so I put on my Canadian tuxedo and ordered from Skip the Dishes, son!

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I wouldda just ordered a Skinny Calf with Cheese and a Diet Coke, but I didn’t see it on the menu… so instead I went for their classic double cheeseburger, the Cow Tipper. This was like a donkey show in my mouth, bro!

What we’ve got here are two well-done beef patties with American cheese, pickles and just a little bit of lettuce, along with Mooby’s sauce, which tastes a lot like mustard. Bun was not toasted, so it kinda melted into the meat. Still a pretty decent double cheeseburger, but I was almost looking forward more to the sides…

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Now, the Cow Tipper Burger Meal comes with your choice of sides — but I HAD to go with the Pickle Fuckers, bro! These deep-fried pickles were hot ‘n juicy, and you could finish them in less than four bites!!!

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But because this is body by deep fried things, I ordered another side, some Onion Rings to Rule Them All. Dude, this burning ring of onion looks even better than the one from that scene in the movie! Now, there is only one return — and it’s not of the King, it’s of the Jedi! — but I would eat these at least five times, Bil-bro Baggins!!!!

Choose Your Own Adventure Burger @ Storm Crow Manor

Now, I wouldn’t say I’m a nerd or nothing…although I did spend my high school years sitting at the table next to the cafeteria cuz they would give me free food at the end of lunch hour if they didn’t sell out. But when I heard that Storm Crow Manor, Canada’s Nerdiest Bar, was opening up in downtown Toronto, I was all over that like a fat kid on cafeteria pizza, bro!

Man, if you like sci-fi or super heroes, you’ll go nuts for funky dishes like Rebel X-Wings, Wolverine Poutine, Big Truffle in Little Chip-a…and these heroes in a deep-fried shell, Teenage Mutant Ninja Pickles:

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Dude, these pickles are super-hot and crispy, with enough batter to make everything better! They’re like, eight to an order, which is enough for two or three people–or one Guy Fieri wannabe from Calgary, bro! And you KNOW one does not simply go to Storm Crow Manor to eat pickles…

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OK, so here’s the deal. They’ve got this funky dish called the Dungeon Burger, which is kinda like going to Harvey’s…except you don’t choose your toppings, the dice chooses for you. With a roll of the 20-sided dice, you pick your bun, meat, cheese, toppings, sauces and sides…and it even comes with a trading card!

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I added one extra rule to this game–if I landed on something vegan, I got to go again. So I started out by rolling a 16 on the bun, which means baguette, and then for meat I got shaved prime rib, which should go together nicely. For toppings, I got tomato, shredded lettuce…and then I kept landing on lettuce again (they also have romaine). I definitely did NOT need two kinds of lettuce, so with a flick of the wrist, I rolled an 18…which meant tortilla chips. That’s right, this is nacho average beef dip, bro!!!

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OK, so let’s break it down. The baguette was nice ‘n toasty, the beef had a nice chew. A bit of juice from the tomato, some crunch from the nachos…and in the sauce department, I rolled ketchup, Storm Crow secret sauce and then a 20, which is Choose Your Own Sauce. I went with Sriracha aioli — dude, it’s like donkey sauce mixed with hot sauce!!! But having three sauces on the sammy made the chips a little soggy, and I couldn’t taste the secret sauce at all. Maybe next time I’ll just stick with two sauces…

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Now, when it came to decide on sides, there were two basic options–fries and green salad–and then a few more that cost extra money. To make it more likely you’d get one of the cheaper sides, rolling 1 to 6 would be fries and 7 to 12 would be salad, so you had to roll 13 or above to get something else. And wouldn’t you know I rolled between 7 and 12 like three times in a row–you don’t win friends with salad, bro! So finally, on my third re-roll, I got a baked potato, which is two dollars more…but hey, it does come with sour cream, chives and bacon, so I’d say that’s a big win!

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This deep-fried-pickle bacon cheeseburger is totally dill-icious!

So, we’re hanging out at BQM, this funky craft beer and burger joint right in the heart of Little Portland, Ossington just south of Dundas. This place has got one main thing on the menu, and that’s burgers, bro! (They’ve also got wings, poutine, and salad, but I skipped that last part.)

Now, when I go to a place that specializes in burgers, you KNOW I never order a salad! So I went for the funkiest meat on a bun on the menu. They call this one Dill-i-cio, and me, I call it magically delicious:

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OK, let’s break it down. You’ve got a thick ‘n juicy beef patty, with super-crisp and crunchy bacon, just the way I like it. There’s added crispy crunchiness from the lettuce, but you KNOW the panko-battered deep-fried pickle is what makes it, bro! You’ve got a bit of a kick from the sriracha, and some creamy garlic mayo, but man…this might be the crunchiest burger I’ve ever shoved straight down my piehole!!!