Tag Archives: double cheeseburger

WINTERLICIOUS 2020: Double cheeseburger & chicken wings @ Museum Tavern

Dude, you KNOW I can’t go through two weeks of Winterlicious without eating a burger, bro! We’re hanging out at Museum Tavern, this funky joint down the street from the AGO, where they’re serving up one of the top five burgers in Toronto. Not only that, but you also get an appetizer AND dessert, all for just 33 bucks? Shut the front, back and side doors!!!!

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So, we’re starting off with these funkalicious buttermilk fried chicken wings. Dude, I wish I could eat these babies at the start of every meal! Hot and crunchy, straight outta fryer, with a spicy adobo sauce on the side — I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!

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One thing about this cheeseburger — it sure is cheesy! You’ve got two thick ‘n juicy patties, smothered in American cheese, with lettuce, onion, tomato and special sauce — it’s like a Big Mac on steroids in Flavourtown!!!!!

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You know the deal, we still get dessert even if you don’t have room for it…and you KNOW I still have room for dessert, bro! This tres leches combines sponge cake, sweet cream and whipped cream, and puts some chocolate on top, for that extra kick. Nothing wrong with that at all!!!

This double cheeseburger isn’t quite a slam dunk…

So, we’re hanging out at Dunk Burgers & Chocolate, this funky little joint that just opened up on Queen St, a couple blocks west of Bathurst. Dude, this body is 50% burgers and 50% chocolate, so you KNOW I had to come check it out — and everything on the menu was 50% off for the first two weeks!!!!!!!!!

Now, this place has got 10 different burgers and chicken sammies to choose from — not even counting the Beyond Meat burger. This was the hardest decision I had to make all week, but I ended up going with the Got Cheddar, with its deep-fried pickles, over The O, which is topped with onion rings. I just don’t think I can get a better onion ring than the ones I had in Buffalo a couple weeks ago, bro!!!

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Now, they definitely don’t shortchange ya on the cheese — and they also go pretty heavy on the BBQ sauce. But I was expecting some crispy, crunchy, pickle spears…and instead I got a couple pickle chips, which did not seem to have come Straight Outta Fryer. And hey, I get that they’re new, but they broke the First Rule of Flavourtown — when I asked to add (beef) bacon, they told me they were all out!!! 😮 😮 😮

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Also, it’s probably worth mentioning that you can’t order any regular French-fried potaters here — they either had sweet potato waffle fries or home fries, which were described to me as “potato wedges” but are clearly more like your friendly neighbourhood hash browns. Don’t get me wrong, I would eat hash browns for breakfast, brunch, and post-Van-Halen-concert snack…but this might be the first time I’ve ever had ’em for dinner?

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OK, so that burger might not have been as baller as Kawhi throwing down on Giannis, but they’re definitely kicking it up a notch for dessert. This here’s the Cookie Monster, and it’s yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy, son! You’ve got cookies, you’ve got brownies, you’ve got ice cream topped with not one, not two, but three kinds of Belgian chocolate drizzle!? Shut the front, back AND side doors, bro! Next time I’m coming here, I think I might skip right to dessert…

Bacon burger and a beer for 20 bucks @ Friday Roots and Vibes

Now here’s a Wednesday Night Special that’s after my own heart. We’re hanging out at Friday Roots and Vibes, this funky southern soul food joint on Dundas West, where they’re serving up a double beef brisket bacon cheeseburger, plus a short cold one, for just 20 bucks, bro! Say hello to the Friday Burger:

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Dude, this thing is like a Big Mac on steroids! You’ve got two beef brisket patties, a couple slices of cheddar, maybe like one or two bacon strips and a whole lotta lettuce, all swimming in secret sauce. Bro, this burger was so saucy, I was expecting it to get up on stage and do a striptease or something–but instead it ended up going straight down my piehole!!!

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Now, here’s the deal with their burger and beer deal, though. You can’t choose any beer on the menu — you only get a stubby of Red Stripe. Man, I didn’t even drink Red Stripe when I was in the Caribbean…but as long as there’s burgers involved, I guess it’s irie, mon!

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Of course, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, son! This Mississippi Mud Pie was just chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate… with some whipped cream on top. I easily couldda slammed a slice twice this size though, bro!!!

Demolishing The Pint Tower Burger…double cheeseburger with bacon, pulled pork and a grilled cheese sammy!!!

So, we’re hanging out at The Pint Public House, this massive sports bar just steps from the CN Tower. Last time we were here, I destroyed four orders of 40-cent wings…but this time, I’ve got an even bigger challenge ahead of me. It seems this joint is serving up a tower of it’s own. This is The Pint Tower Burger:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a thick ‘n juicy bacon double cheeseburger, topped with pulled pork, with a grilled cheese sandwich in the middle. It might not be as friggin’ huge as the Go Chuck Yourself, as deadly as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, or as messy as the 20 Napkin Burger, but it’s still gotta be the most outta-bounds, honky-tonk redonkadonk bacon burger I’ve conquered in the last six months:

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Man, I can barely wrap my hand around this thing–nevermind my jaw! But the meat is super-tender, you’ve got some nice bites of bacon, and a whole pile of tangy pulled pork. The grilled cheese would still be pretty tasty even if it wasn’t being crushed by all that beef, and the bun is about as soggy as a wet nap under all that juicy, meaty goodness… Dude, this is probably enough food to feed a family of four–or just another light snack in Flavourtown:

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(I didn’t even need 20 napkins for this one, son!!!!)

I’m about to goo goo g’chew this Walrus Burger!

So, we’re hanging out at Walrus Pub and Brewhall, this funky downtown joint that just opened at Bay and Wellington a few weeks back. Now I like pubs, and I like beer halls, so you put ‘em together and it’s gotta be great, right?

Well, for a place with Brewhall in its name, I gotta say their draught list ain’t all that special—especially when you’ve got places like Craft Beer Market and King Taps close by. Mind you, The Walrus is classier than Craft and much more spacious than King Taps, although it seems to be lacking in the patio department. But hey, its mascot is pretty sweet:

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I ended up going with the Henderson Food Truck Ale, which was a little malty, but not overpowering. I think it would go nicely with some taco truck fajitas… It also didn’t taste too bad with this burger:

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No walruses were harmed in the making of this sandwich—the burger’s just named after the joint, is all. Instead you’ve got some thick, juicy ground beef patties, American cheese, lettuce and bacon on a potato bun. Of course, I made mine a double. You gotta pay extra for the bacon, but that’s not even a question, bro!

While the patties were meaty, beaty, big and bouncy (whoops, wrong British Invasion band!) and the cheese was nice and melty, the bacon was actually undercooked and chewy. Maybe I gotta kick in an extra buck for crispy bacon???

I’ve got a need…a need for BEEF!

So we’re hanging out at Top Gun Steak, this funky little burger joint in Kensington Market. They may not have Tom Cruise on the wall or Kenny Loggins on the stereo, but this place is serving up a whole buncha burgers and steak sammies inspired by the biggest box office smash of 1986. We’re heading right into the danger zone with this one, Goose-bro!

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They call this beefcake Maverick, and it’s just a bitchin’ pair of shades away from flying straight down my piehole. You’ve got a double cheeseburger, topped with havarti, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato–and even a hunka grilled pineapple on top. But wait, one of these patties is lamb!!!??? Shut the back door, bro!!!

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Of course, every burger pilot needs a sidekick, and these chili cheese fries put Goose to shame! You’ve got a rich, meaty chili with big bites of kidney beans, and then a shredded blend of mozza-cheddar on top. And yes, this is real cheese–no queso, bro! Dude, this place is just a Kenny Loggins soundtrack short of sensational. I think we can fix that, though:

I would tap that $30 burger, bro!!!!

We’re hanging out at King Taps, this funky new craft beer sports bar right in the heart of the Financial District. Now, I have wanted to make sweet, sweet lovin’ to their Burger Royale ever since this joint opened about a month ago–and I finally had my date with destiny. It was totally Orgasmatron 9000!!!!

Now, they do have a regular King Burger, with cheese and bacon, for 17 dollars, but why get a 17 dollar burger when you can have a 30-dollar burger, bro? My motto’s always been if it’s right, it’s right, why wait to shove it straight down my piehole on a cold dark night???

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OK, let’s break it down. First of all, this bun is too legit to quit–you can’t touch this, son! And then you’ve got not one, but two super-scrumptious, thick ‘n juicy beef patties, two kinds of cheeses, mushrooms, onions…and oh yeah, beef short rib on top! And did I mention it comes with a side of gravy that you pour on it? Dude, this is body by side of gravy!!!!

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Of course, you can’t go to a joint called King Taps and drink a Diet Coke–that’s like a five-year sentence in Flavourtown Penitentiary! Do not pass Go, do not collect 200 Doritos, bro! Man, this place has got more beers on tap than Equifax has angry customers–their rotating taps alone have more variety than your average bar!

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Speaking of doing time, this little craft brewery from our nation’s capital is serving up a funkalicious wheat beer that’ll blow your mind! Say hello to my little friend Orange is the New Pink, from Beyond the Pale Brewery. This hoppy wheat ale tastes like oranges…because they brew it with oranges, dude! And believe it or not, but it wasn’t even the funkiest concoction on their massive beer list. You know I’ll be back, body-builder bro!!!!!!!!!1110