Tag Archives: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

Destroying five Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Crunchwrap Sliders!

Ever since I first read about the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos epidemic in the States, I have wanted to get my hands on these hot, crunchy flavour nuggets… But they were illegal in Canada—until now. Luckily, Taco Bell has smuggled a whole bunch over the border, and they’re cramming them into their latest culinary creation, the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Crunchwrap Slider. But you know with these only available for a limited time, I couldn’t just eat uno, or dos, or tres or even cuatro… No, we’re talking cuatro cinco, cinco, seis, son!

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That means five, in case you’ve forgotten the feel-good hit of the summer of ‘98. And tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1999 with these cheesy, beefy, crunchy, spicy, outta-bounds, Bomb.ca, honky-tonk redonkadonk orbs of Mexican flavour goodness! Shut the back, front and side doors, bro!

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OK, let’s break it down. You’ve got your ground-beef taco meat, your cheese and sour cream, some south of the border hot sauce, straight outta the packet, and then a ton of crunch from the Cheetos, all wrapped in a flour tortilla and baked under a panini taco press. I have never tasted anything so crunchy since that time I crushed four Naked Chicken Chalupas, bro! And I can totally relate to the crack-like properties of the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos—even after finishing five of these, I still had a craving for more!!!!

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Throwback Thursday: The Flamin’ Hot Cheetos epidemic

(Originally written October 17, 2012)

In America’s War on School Lunches, one particular product has become the prime target: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.  The spicy cheese snack, first introduced in the early 90’s, apparently has such devastating consequences to kids’ health that it’s been banned in several school districts.  No, not unhealthy snacks, or Cheetos in general, just the Flamin’ Hot variety.  “We don’t encourage other chips, but if we see Hot Cheetos, we confiscate them — sometimes after the child has already eaten most of them. It’s mostly about the lack of nutrition,” a California principal told the Chicago Tribune.  Oookay, but what makes them less nutritious, or more confiscatable, than other chips?

According to CBS News, “One ounce of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos — about 21 pieces — is about 160 calories, including 17 percent of the daily suggested serving for fat and 8 percent of serving for saturated fat. It also contain (sic) 250 mg — or 10 percent of the daily value — of sodium.”  That’s not very healthy, granted, but it’s got nothing on a humongo chicken shawarma!  However, it appears that the most harmful substances in Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are not found on the nutritional guide.

As per the Tribune, “processed salty, fatty or sweet foods of any kind — also called ‘hyperpalatable foods’ — can trigger brain responses similar to those created by controlled substances in addicted individuals.”  Or, as one high-school sophomore put it, “Personally I have been eating them for years, and I cannot stop. I just have this urge to eat them.”

Even Frito-Lay, the company that makes said spicy snack, seems to treat ‘em like a controlled substance. “Frito-Lay is committed to responsible and ethical marketing practices, which includes not marketing our products to children ages 12 and under. We also do not decide which snacks are available on school campuses and do not sell snack products directly to schools,” Ricky Ray’s former employer said in a statement.  Still, rumours that the spicy seasoning contains crack dust have yet to be confirmed…