Tag Archives: gyros

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: You ululate, I ululate, we all ululate for Halal Guys!!!

In case you didn’t know, The Halal Guys made a name for themselves as one of the most popular food trucks in New York City, before branching out all over the world. They’ve had one in Toronto for a couple years now, right around Yonge and Wellesley, but I never got the chance to check it out…until now!

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At this place, their menu is nice and simple — you can order chicken, gyros or falafel, either on a pita or in a platter. Now you KNOW I went with both kinds of meat, bro — chicken AND gyros!!!

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OK, now let’s break it down. The meat is clearly carved off a spit shawarma-style, and then piled on top of a whole lotta veggies, like carrots, lettuce, tomato, onions, jalapenos and green peppers. You get a nice kick from the hot sauce and the garlicky white sauce — man, I only used one packet of white sauce, and I got it all over everything!!!

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Now, the trick with this dish is to layer the meat so that you’re not just left with a big pile of lettuce and carrots at the end. But man, when you smother it in white sauce, even lettuce and carrots taste pretty gangster! And did I mention I’ve still got a whole ‘nother packet? Man, I’m gonna spread some white sauce on everything I eat now — that sauce is the boss, hoss!!!!

Holding out for a gyro @ Messini Authentic Gyros

Now, we’ve already been all up and down Greektown, chowing down on octopus at Soulas, licking up lamb chops at Mezes, and destroying some quail — with a side of Greek fries — at Astoria, not to mention slaughtering several souvlaki sticks at Taste of the Danforth. But when it comes to gyros, the classic shaved meat off a spit, we were holding out for the real-deal, three-course meal at Messini Authentic Gyros.

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Now, when you order a gyros plate at Messini, it comes with a starter Greek salad, which is about 50% feta, with pieces of onions, tomatoes and green peppers underneath — we don’t need no stinkin’ lettuce, son! But the cheesiness does not stop here…

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Now, if I had known I was getting a salad to start, I might not have ordered the cheese balls. Nah, just kidding — this is body by cheese balls, bro! These tirokroketes are deep-fried and crunchy, with hot, cheesy goodness oozing out into my mouth — shut the front, back and side doors!!!!

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But now it’s time for the main event. This plate comes with your choice of pork, chicken, or the traditional lamb/beef blend, which is where it’s at. You also get slices of tomato, onions, a pile of beefy french fries and some freaky tzatziki. For a dollar more, you can get the “open faced” plate, which comes with pita bread, so you can make your own personal pan pitas, like so:

messini_gyros_pita (9)Man, all that’s missing is some more of that feta!!!

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Now, after destroying that lineup of Greek deliciousness, I actually did NOT have room for dessert! But I did wash it down with a coupla Eza Premium Pilseners, straight from the old country…

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Slammin’ souvlaki sticks @ Taste of the Danforth

Bro, anybody who knows Toronto knows that the Danforth is the place to go for real-deal Greek food. You’ve got all these funky joints like Astoria, Mezes, Pan on the Danforth… You could probably eat souvlaki for an entire month without stopping at the same place twice. And hey, if you like souvlaki, then Taste of the Danforth is totally the best weekend for it–everybody’s killin’ it and grillin’ it outside on the sidewalk from Friday to Sunday, son!

Of course, this year’s maybe a bit different after some fuckhead decided to shoot a buncha people on the Danforth a couple weeks back. But you know down here we’re Souvlaki Strong–I would put that on a t-shirt and wear it, bro!!!

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The ceremonial first souvlaki of the weekend comes from Asteria Restaurant (not to be confused with Astoria House down the street). This three-dolla chicken stick is iller than a three-dolla bill–tender, juicy, melt in your mouthy, straight off the grill, son!!!

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Now, this ain’t souvlaki, but I’m still gonna shove this skewer straight down my piehole. Katsu Sushi’s serving up some deep-fried squid on a stick, bro!!!

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Now, when you’re down on the Danforth, you can’t just stick-en with the chicken. This pork souvlaki from Anestis Taverna was four bucks, plus it comes with bread. Dude, the bread is the word!!!

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Now, here’s a classic Greek dish done differently. These Phi Slamma Jamma lamb chops from Sushi Delight are marinated in a Japanese teriyaki. They’re supposed to be two for six dollars, but they gave me three cuz I’m baaaaad to the bone, bro!

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Now, I’ve been to Greenwood Smokehouse before for a super-stacked sammy, so when I saw ’em selling brisket on the street, I knew their meat can’t be beat! This beef was nice and tender…but maybe a bit too much sauce, though?

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Now, it was getting a little late at this point, but I’m holding out for a gyro till the end of the night! Hunter’s on the Danforth was just taking the gyro meat off the grill when I stopped by, so you know it’s hot ‘n fresh. Dude, this is like a total eclipse of my mouth, Bro-nnie Tyler!!!!

I just got a great deal on gyros, bro!

Now, I don’t always eat at food courts, but when I do, I like to funk it up. And Village on the Grange is probably the funkiest food court in the city–this side of the Urban Eatery! You won’t find any chains here bro, except for Mickey D’s. On the other hand, you’ve got vegan, you’ve got Korean, you’ve got sushi and dim sum and pho, oh my!

Oh, and there’s also this family-run Greek joint called Souvlaki House that’s been there for a million years…and they probably haven’t even raised their prices during that time. Cuz you can get a whole plate of food for just fo’ fiddy–and we’re talkin’ meatballs, we’re talkin’ moussaka, and my personal Greek favourite, gyros:

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Nobody really knows what animal gyros come from, but one thing’s for sure, they’re magically delicious! These zesty meat strips go great with tzatziki, and then you’ve got some potatoes, and your choice of side salad. (I went with the coleslaw, which was maybe a mistake.) All that and a can of Arizona will only set ya back about seven bucks…after HST, bro! That’s like a Giannis Antetokounmpo throwdown in Flavourtown!!!!