Tag Archives: Little Tokyo

LITTLE TOKYO: The best way to eat Uncle Tetsu’s Cheesecake

Since the last time I ate Uncle Tetsu’s cheesecake, just over a year ago, the man has really expanded his operation. He’s now got Uncle Tetsu’s Matcha Cafe right next door, and he’s opened up another shop at Union Station…so the guy’s pretty much got the public transportation market covered. But the crown jewel in Tetsu’s Toronto empire is around the corner and a couple blocks up the street. We’re talking Uncle Tetsu’s Japanese Angel Cafe, bro!

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This funky joint takes up the entire second floor at 191 Dundas West, and it’s a lot bigger than you think. The waitresses are all dressed up in maid outfits, and they’re serving up more than just coffee and cheesecake… Check out this righteous dish–Japanese chicken ‘n waffles, bro!

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Now, I should probably tell you this delish dish ain’t on the menu. Well, it is, but it’s actually two separate dishes. See, I ordered their chicken karaage appetizer and the cheddar & maple waffle from their lunch menu, but I asked ’em to bring both out at the same time. So, I put one on top of the other, poured the side sauce all over the place, and a new dish was born. I call this one the Triple J: Juicy Japanese Jams, bro! Maybe if enough people ask for it by name, it’ll become the new house specialty. 😉

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But YOU KNOW I not gonna not leave room for dessert at this place–cuz their cheesecake is literally from outer space! They call this the Lunar Cheesecake, and it’s kinda like a New York cheesecake, except you can only get it in Toronto. And man, there is so much chocolate here bro that I ain’t even complaining they didn’t give me a bigger piece. Now, I know nobody lines up outside Tetsu’s original cheesecake factory anymore, but man, I would wait for this one even longer than Mumford and Sons!

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“Tokyo, you are cleared for landing…straight down my cakehole!!!!”

LITTLE TOKYO: It’s like sushi on steroids, bro!

Now, I may not be the world’s biggest sushi fan, but I loves me some burritos, so if you put the two together, then I shouldn’t have any problem with that. And over at Rolltation, this funky little joint in Little Tokyo, they’ve found a way to turn burritos Japanese that would make Kirsten Dunst jealous!

Basically, this stuff is like sushi on steroids. They’ve got six different rolls to choose from, whether you want beef, chicken, veggie, or seafood, son! Now, I couldda gone for a classic salmon, or maybe a wasabi tuna, but you know that if there’s beef on the menu, then I’m about to shove it straight down my piehole. Say hello to my little friend kimchi beef burrito:

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Man, we’ve got all kindsa ridiculous flavours rolled up in here. First of all, there’s a hunka, hunka Korean beef, then you’ve got a nice tang from the kimchi, some crunchy carrots and lettuce, cold asparagus, kidney beans and avocado, bro! Now, you’d think some of this stuff would need to be warmed up–at least the meat, anyways–but since sushi, like revenge, is a dish best served cold, it actually comes together quite nicely.

And hey, one of my biggest burrito pet peeves is when you get all the meat on one side, and the veggies on the other, so it’s impossible to find that perfect bite. But here, the meat is distributed evenly, so while you might end up with three bites of asparagus at once, or a whole mouthful of avocado, at least there’ll be some beef in there, too.

Now, for $12.99, this is quite a bit pricier than, say, Burrito Bandidos, but it’s definitely something you don’t see every day…like Kirsten Dunst in a schoolgirl outfit:

LITTLE TOKYO: The mother of all ramen

Now, there’s a whole buncha places serving up ramen in Toronto, but most people will tell you, Sansotei is the best. And lemme say, this place is tiny–they’ve got four six-top tables, two four-top booths and a counter for two up front. And people line the fuck up for this stuff, bro! They open at 11, and you gotta get there by 11:15 to get a seat. By 11:35, there was already five people waiting outside–on a Wednesday–and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet!

So, was this Japanese noodle soup really worth waiting for? Maybe not, but I got there early enough to grab the middle seat at a table for six, so, y’know…

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They call the tonkotsu their signature ramen, and it’s got my presidential seal of approval. You’ve got roast pork, soft-boiled egg, black fungus (only black fungus is real!) and green onion in a salty, pork-bone broth. They give you the choice of thick or thin noodles, but I went with the thin “for the most authentic and delicious experience,” like it says on their website. Aaaand that’s about the only time you’ll see the word “thin” on Triple B, bro!!! 😉

Now, I still don’t really know how to use chopsticks–they don’t teach us this stuff in Calgary, dude–but I was able to shovel some of the noodles, pork and egg onto the spoon with ’em, which worked well enough for me. I don’t eat ramen very often, and this ramen did not change my life, but hey, $10.50 for a yuuuge bowl of soup on a cold winter’s day ain’t a bad deal, bro!!!!

LITTLE TOKYO: King Curry Challenge…accepted!

Now, there’s this funky little Japanese joint called Gyugyuya, which sounds like one of my heavy-metal warmup exercises from The Zen of Screaming. And you won’t find any sushi, sashimi or Uncle Tetsu’s cheesecake at this place–all they do is curry. I’ve walked past this place a buncha times, and I’ve always seen the sign in the window for the King Curry Challenge. Since it’s my New Year’s Resolution to complete more eating challenges, you know I’m all over this one, son!

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This dish is so far outta bounds that China’s trying to make a land claim on it, bro! You’ve got pork katsu to the left of me, chicken katsu to the right, and here I am, stuck in the middle of a whole buncha rice smothered in a thick curry sauce. I know what you’re thinking, “How the heck does he even eat this?” With a spork, son!

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Now, I wasn’t too sure what to attack first, so I just went at ‘er. Both kinds of katsus are super-crunchy, giving us our very own soundtrack of our lives. The sausage was super-hot and crispy, and the hard-boiled egg slices added some coolness to a very temperature-hot dish. There was also a bit of slaw on the side, and one lonely breaded shrimp. But what really fills you up is the rice, and the thick ‘n heavy sauce. I’m pretty sure I could gas up the Camaro with this stuff, broseph!

That being said, this was just a light snack compared to the 64 pieces of sushi I scarfed down yesterday. I didn’t really start feeling full until I had about four or five pieces of katsu left. And you know that we don’t stop until we’re done!!!

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Turns out, this wasn’t some sort of timed challenge, like “finish in 30 mins and its free.” And that’s a bit of a bummer, cuz if it was, I wouldda saved me $20.99 (plus tax), bro!!!!

LITTLE TOKYO: Eating all the sushi @ Kyoto House

Toronto’s hottest culinary area is turning Dundas St. West Japanese. In just a couple blocks, you’ve got sushi, mochi, curry, ramen and bubble tea–not to mention that freakin’ cheesecake place (no one goes there anymore though, bro!). Now, the only thing I know how to say in Japanese is “Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto,” but I still figured I’d try to eat everything…before Godzilla does.

Kyoto House has been here long before this was the place to be, and they’re serving up real-deal, funkalicious, all-you-can-eat sushi for breakfast, lunch and dinner son! (Breakfast not included.) Now, I don’t always eat sushi, but when I do, I eat all I can. So you know this place is right up my alley, bro!

kyoto_house_menu-3This should be enough to start, I think?

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So, we’re starting off with the pork katsu cutlet, a crispy Japanese dish that’s super delish. Pretty sure I polished off this place in less than 60 seconds, son!

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This basket of deep-fried deplorables is like a culinary magic show in Flavourtown. You’ve got Japanese spring rolls, deep-fried gyoza dumplings, but the star of the show is the calamari. A nice, light, crispy tempura breading served up over an uber-chewy squid. Five stars!

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Now, this is what 30 pieces of sushi looks like, right here. You can barely fit it all on one plate! And you’ve got pretty much all the greatest hits: the Boston roll is Smokin’ with salmon and cucumber, the Tokyo roll throws a little avocado into the mix, and the Rock ‘n Rolls are Spinal Tap approved. But the one that really threw me for a loop was the BBQ salmon skin and cucumber roll. The skin was so crispy, I didn’t even miss the fishy, bro!

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And then you’ve got the sashimi, a perfect plate of red snapper, surf clam and crab. Great chew on all of these, but I though the snapper was the snappiest. Now, I was getting a little full from all this food, but nobody wants to be the guy who goes to an all-you-can-eat sushi plate and only fills out one card, so you know I had to be ready for round two:

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I went back to see what I missed on the menu the first time around, and ordered up some sixers of spicy crab, shrimp tempura and crunch rolls. What’s a crunch roll, you ask? Well, it’s when they take tempura flour, masago and mayo and turn it into a crunchy orange concoction that helps me hang on. This is like the Crunch Wrap Supreme of sushi, son! Pretty sure I could slam 17 of these…if I hadn’t eaten 54 pieces of sushi already.

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But you know that after eating enough fish to make Trey Anastasio yell “Wilson,” I still had enough room for dessert, son! Well, actually, not really. I had told my Little China Doll to cancel the ice cream order I indicated on the card, but then, not even two minutes later, another geisha girl stops by with this yin-yang of Flavourtown: one scoop red bean, and one scoop green tea. Hey, if you’re gonna put ice cream in front of me, there’s no way I’m not gonna eat it!!!

And you know what the crazy thing is? All that grub only cost me $13.99 plus tax, dude!!!! That’s less than a Molson Canadian at the Air Canada Centre, son! Come to think of it, it might just be the best 14 bucks I’ve ever spent…

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