Tag Archives: lobster poutine

PATIO LIT EATS: We be lambin’, mon!

So, we’re hanging out at Bymark, this funky joint in the Financial District. When I was here last summer, we ate underground, but now we’re taking advantage of their swanky courtyard patio…and their righteous summer menu, son!

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So, we’re starting off with lobster poutine, which is one of my favourite kinds of poutine. Fries are ridiculously crispy, you’ve got some nice, big chunks of lobster, and a classic Bearnaise sauce on top. Now, technically it’s not a poutine — where’s the cheese curds, bro? — but definitely some of the best lobster Bearnaise fries I’ve ever had!!!

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Now, speaking of things that are a little unusual… I’ve totally had some real-deal jerk chicken before, and a whole lotta lamb shanks, but this jerk lamb shank was definitely a first. I was worried that it might be spicy, but it really wasn’t. Braised meat was super-tender, and you’ve got some stuff on the side that I don’t normally eat, like quinoa and lima beans. But if you put it on the plate with lamb, I’m gonna make it disappear, bro!!!

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Now for dessert, we’re kicking it up another notch with some creme brulee donuts! These creamy little Timbits come with a side of salted caramel and some walnut pralines for that added crunch. This might be the funkiest dessert I’ve had since we came outta lockdown, son!!!!

Super-creamy lobster poutine at an oyster house, son!

Now don’t get me wrong, I love all kinds of poutine, but if I had to pick a favourite, it might be lobster poutine. When it’s done right, it’s magically delicious, bro! And I’ve had some pretty legit lobster poutines all over this country, whether at a German beer hall in Kanata or a one-off Poutine Week special at Baton Rouge.

So, we’re hanging out at John & Sons Oyster House, this cozy little seafood shack just a lobster trap’s toss from Bay St in the Financial District. This place has been serving up seafood for the after-work crowd since 2009, and they’ve got all kindsa stuff like clam chowder, calamari and fish ‘n chips. But you know I ‘m here for one reason, and one reason only, son!!!

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got some thin, crispy Yukon gold potaters, with nice chunks of lobster, white cheddar cheese curds and a whole buncha bechamel, bro! The cheese is super melty, and the lobster tastes legit, but the thing you taste the most is the sauce. Don’t get me wrong, lobster might not really work with d’la vraie sauce en canne, but the creaminess of this dish is just a touch too much. I’m pretty sure I couldda polished off a plate twice this size otherwise…

These lobster nachos weren’t all they’re cracked up to be

So last night, I hit up this funky joint called Lobster Monster, where they put lobster on everything. I mean, this place has lobster spring rolls, lobster poutine, and lobster freakin’ nachos, for frick’s sake! Bro, when I saw they had nachos topped with melted cheese, sausage, bacon, lobster, tomato, green onion, jalapeños and Sriracha aioli, I knew they had to make an appointment with my piehole. But as ridiculously awesome as that might sound, this dish turned out to be a bit of a bummer:

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Now, in all fairness to the kitchen, I was with a very large group of people, so I can see why things got out of hand. But man, these dudes could use a lesson in nacho construction. Most of the chips didn’t even have cheese on them, except for a few in the middle. The rest were dominated by lettuce and tomato, of which they put a bit too much. There was only a few chunks of lobster and sausage spilling off to the side, and I think I only noticed one piece of bacon. They put raw red pepper instead of jalapeno, which was a weird choice, tossed a buncha onions onto 2-3 chips instead of distributing them evenly, and glopped on an overzealous amount of aioli in a couple spots, as you can see in this picture. Yo, mayo on nachos no es bueno, bro!

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At least they made it up to me with a free dessert. This brownie mountain was topped with ice cream, whipped cream, M&Ms and peanuts. All that was missing was the lobster claw on top! Pretty sure I could eat three of these, bro…even after polishing off a plate of nachos!

Anyways, this funky neighbourhood joint did have some other awesome-looking dishes, and I might come back for the lobster poutine or the Monster Lobster Burger Tower…just as long as there’s no mayo anywhere near it.

Top 5 Food Cities: 5. Ottawa

Don’t get me wrong bro, I’ve had some awful food in Ottawa. There was this shitty $20 steak sandwich at Canadian Tire Centre that was so pukealicious I wanted to go back to the kitchen and slap the cook for making it, then go up to the luxury box and slap the owner for charging 20 bucks for it. But if I’d done that, Ida probably missed the first period, so…

While so much of the chow in Canada’s capital is completely craptacular, that only makes the hidden gems taste even better when you find ‘em. Whether it’s a real-deal Alberta beef burger on Elgin Street, off-the-hook fish ‘n chips in a strip mall, or TheBomb.ca lobster poutine in Kanata, there is some great grub if you know where to look. They even have a Real Sports Bar!

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I may not be a Liberal-Conservative, but I would vote for the Sir John A Pub’s prime rib burger any day!

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After seeing the Stamps stomp the shit outta the REDBLACKS a couple years back, I settled in for a killer roast-beef Sunday dinner at The Lieutenant’s Pump. All this food for $14.95, dude!

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Before getting on the bus to an AC/DC concert at TD Place, I stopped by this funky German beer hall in Kanata, where I had probably the greatest lobster poutine of all time. This dish shook me all night long!

Come back tomorrow to find out who’s number four…

POUTINE WEEK 2016: Who knew lobsters had ribs?

OK, so here’s the deal. Baton Rouge is a local chain of semi-upscale rib joints—you could say that it’s to Toronto what Tony Roma’s is to Calgary or Tony Romo is to Dallas. So hey, when I heard that their Eaton Centre location was participating in Poutine Week, I figured I could expect some nice baby backs with BBQ sauce served on top of fries.

Turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was almost as much of an epic fail as the time Tony Romo dropped the extra-point hold against the Seahawks in the playoffs. Cuz instead of ribs, y’see, they were dishing out a mean lobster poutine:

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Dude, this dish was bananas, and bananas are good! You’ve got some huge, meaty chunks of lobster sitting beside equally sizable squeaky cheese curds. The sauce was on point, and while the fries were a little on the thin side, there was plenty of flavour to go around. But the green onions are what makes it, adding a nice crunch and a bit of a kick. I’ve actually had a couple lobster poutines in my day, and this one was right up there. And it was only 10 bucks! Tip your servers, folks, cuz this generous portion is worthy of a gracious gratuity!