We’re mackin’ it up at the Mac ‘n Cheese Festival!

M to the A to the C to the K, heading straight down my piehole like back in the day! The Mac ‘n Cheese Festival returns to the rusted-out shell of Ontario Place this weekend, and you know we’re back in plaid, bro! Last year’s edition had some pretty righteous eats, and they might have had a smaller selection this time around…but what they lacked in quantity, they made up for in funkaliciousness!

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The righteous bros and bros-ettes at Thompson Diner were really hollerin’ bout this truffle mac ‘n cheese, so you know I had to check it out! This dish is super-duper-creamy–there was like a half-gallon of cream sauce left at the bottom of the carton! I wouldda drank it all up, too, ‘cept I didn’t have a straw…

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Now, when somebody’s giving away a free grilled cheese mac ‘n cheese sandwich, you know I’m there with flip-flops on! But so was a whole lotta other people, and they were only making these one at a time…so the wait was about 45 minutes. Still, I can’t really complain about free grilled cheese with mac ‘n cheese inside, though!

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Speaking of mac ‘n cheese inside another thing, this funky little Indian joint was serving up mac ‘n cheese samosas with butter chicken sauce–it’s like a festival of funk in Flavourtown!!!!

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One of the longest lineups on the premises was for Bobbie Sue’s, this homestyle mac ‘n cheese shop from Ossington Ave in the heart of Little Portland. This place’s noodles were legit, and then they funked it up by putting a lobster tail on top! Mine was a little undercooked, but you know I like my lobster like I like my steak–still mooing on the plate, bro!!!

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But the highlight of the night at this festival of funk had to be the beer-battered, deep-fried, bacon mac ‘n cheese balls from TCI College. Dude, this is body by beer-battered, deep-fried, bacon mac ‘n cheese balls! And these balls are even cheesier than a German heavy metal music video from the 80’s… You get yer balls to the wall, bro!!!!!

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I love the smell of mac ‘n cheese in the morning!

When I woke up yesterday, I’ve got a smile on my face, cuz I’m gonna take my gut to Ontario Place. The formerly provincially funded theme park reopened for the weekend for the annual Mac ‘n Cheese Festival, Ontario’s ode to cheesy goodness. (No, not “Deep Cuts the Knife,” but you know I was rocking it on the boom box, bro!) And you know I’ve got a VIP pass, which gets me into the park one hour before the public. On Saturday, they started letting VIPs in at 10 am, so I was in line by 9:55!

Of course, there weren’t any food trucks serving up breakfast, so I went straight to the next best thing—dessert. Can you say mac ‘n cheese cone?

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This sweet mac attack is served up in a waffle cone with candied bacon and pop rocks on top. Hey, it’s got bacon, so I’m pretty sure it counts as breakfast food…

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Speaking of breakfast food, this southwest bacon mac ‘n cheesesteak poutine is the Breakfast of Champions, son! You’ve got two kinds of meat, some creamy mac, fries, cheese curds and gravy—that’s all part of a balanced breakfast, bro! I’m glad I only went with a mini order, cuz otherwise, I wouldn’t have had room for this:

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Deep-fried mac ‘n cheese, with creamy carbonara and cheese sauces, tasted almost as good as it looks. This was kindergarten-noodle-craft crunchy with a cheesy, creamy kick. Shut the back door!

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I then went for some pulled duck mac ‘n cheese, which was hot and creamy…but I think they forgot to put the duck in mine.

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Can you say Pig Mac, bao? This is BBQ pork and mac ‘n cheese served up in a steamed bun, son!

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It doesn’t get much more outta bounds than this. Grilled kangaroo served up on macaroni with some spicy cherry sauce on top. The kanga’s got the flavour of chorizo and the texture of ground beef, while the cherry sauce added plenty of sweet heat. I had to chug six Goose Bay IPAs just to chase the aftertaste—otherwise, I would only have had five.

And hey, I was able to fully stuff my piehole before all the strollers showed up. I was outta there by 11:30…just in time for lunch!