Tag Archives: McDonald’s

I dunno McDonald’s, but I don’t think they smoke burgers in Carolina…

Now, I probably shoulda known better. But when I saw all those billboards for the McDonald’s Mighty Angus Carolina BBQ burger, I had so many questions. Is this supposed to be North Carolina or South Carolina BBQ? Do they know the difference between a mustard-based and a vinegar-based sauce? Would either of those sauces even taste good on a burger — much less a McDonald’s burger? And how long are you supposed to smoke a burger, anyways?

Well, after trying the Mighty Angus Carolina BBQ burger, I can tell you that it answered exactly none of those questions.

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Now, I’m not sure this is dramatically different from the Mighty Angus Alberta burger that they rolled out last year…although I never actually ate that one. There is nothing here that really screams Carolina, or BBQ, or Carolina BBQ for that matter. Yes, this is a slight upgrade from a Quarter Pounder; the patty is thicker and the bun has more chew. But now let’s break it down…

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What makes this different from a regular burger are the crispy onions, white cheese (they say it’s mozza but it tasted like nothing) and “golden Carolina BBQ sauce.” Now, to be fair, this is actually a thing…although I didn’t get any of the sauce until I was halfway through the burger. And while its namesake is mustard-based, Mickey D’s sauce was probably straight out of a packet labelled “tangy BBQ.” And no, it really doesn’t go good on a burger…especially not a burger from McDonald’s.

mcdonalds_carolina_bbq_burger (21)As you can see, they saved all the sauce till the end…

Seriously, McDonald’s?

Now, I dunno if you’ve heard about the new Seriously Chicken sandwich at McDonald’s. The one they say is like the Angus beef of chicken? I mean, calling chicken the Angus beef of something is like saying this is the bacon poutine of quinoa salad–that does not compute, bro! But hey, if you call something the Angus beef of anything, I’m probably still gonna end up eating it.

So, they had two options–Tomato & Mozzarella or Guacamole & Jalapeno. Since I’m Guy Fieri’s second cousin thrice removed, you know which one I went for… holy guacamole and holla-atcha-penos, bro! (Don’t mess with Tex Mex!!!!)

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Now, lemme tell ya, that’s some crispy chicken, son! In fact, it’s almost more crispy, less chicken. And the fact that they didn’t even try to melt the cheese is a little disappointing. But I’m digging the red onion and fresh lettuce, and the bun is a step up from what you normally get at McDonald’s. Thing is, the so-called guac is like a great green glob of weaksauce–it tastes like nothing. And for a sandwich with Jalapeno in the name, they sure don’t give you very many, cuz I didn’t find any hot peppers until I had eaten most of this burger already:

jalapeno_guacamole_chicken (14)Whoomp, there it is!

Now, don’t get me wrong, this burger wasn’t bad…but if I’m paying 11 bucks for a fast food chicken sandwich combo, then I think I’m gonna stick with Wendy’s Bacon Queso Chicken Burger. Pour some queso on me, bro!!!

Hey, this McDonald’s hash brown burger actually ain’t bad…

OK, now listen up Mickey D’s, cuz a hash brown is not a rosti. I’ve had rosti before—it’s a can’t miss Swiss potato dish served up with fried eggs and spinach, not a hash brown on a hamburger. You ain’t foolin’ nobody with your Potato Rosti & Bacon Burger, bro!

The way I see it, because they won’t bring all-day breakfast to Canada, some suit-and-tie guy decided to do something about their surplus of hash browns. And hey, believe it or not, but this burger actually kinda works:

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This thing is totally cruncherrific, dude! You’ve got the bacon bits, raw onions, and then the crispy, deep-fried potato. The processed cheese is melting all over the place, making it part cheese sauce, part amazing. And this is not your average bun, son! It’s even got oatmeal flakes on top…which has gotta be the healthiest thing I’ve eaten all week!

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And then you’ve got these new, waffle-cut fries. They don’t make ‘em as often as the regular fries, so these spuds were Straight Outta Deep-Fryer and Crispy to the Max, son! This might be the single greatest thing I’ve ever had at McDonald’s—hell, if you put McDonald’s poutine on these babies, it might not even suck!!!

This McDonald’s burger smells like Quebec sovereignty

So, McDonald’s is doing this thing where they have burgers inspired by flavours from all over this country. And wouldn’t you know it, just in time for Canada Day, it’s the Quebec Delectable Bacon & Cheeseburger. The irony is delicious:

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OK, let’s break it down. You’ve got your standard, paper-thin McDonald’s beef patty, with a fresh sheet of lettuce. And then you’ve got all kindsa cheese. I’m not sure what kind of cheese it is, but apparently, it’s from Quebec. Throw in some bacon bits, and a tangy orange sauce of some sort, and you’ve got a better-than-average McDonald’s burger. And it’s only here for a limited time…until the PQ get their act together!!!

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Vive le McDo libre!

THROWBACK THURSDAY: That time I ate poutine at McDonald’s

(Originally written December 19, 2013)

Now, one sign of a good poutine is a thick, meaty fry, so when McDonald’s announced it was adding poutine to its menu–following in the footsteps of Wendy’s, Burger King, and most other fast-food franchises in this country–it seemed like pretty much the worst idea ever.  After all, McDonald’s renowned salt-rockets are about as thin a fry as you’ll find in a cardboard pouch.  Dump a small bag of cheese curds and some not-warm gravy on top, and you get this:

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You’ll notice that the curds aren’t remotely close to melting.  That’s cuz they took ’em straight out of a sealed plastic bag and pumped some cold gravy on top.  I mean, I wasn’t expecting sauce en canne, but at least Burger King keeps its poutine sauce warm enough that it actually melts the cheese.  All this stuff did was make my thin, yet deadly, fries soggy–which is kinda gross.  In any case, the curds had good flavour, but they didn’t exactly squeak in my mouth.  And what was up with that gravy!?  Man, I’d even take KFC’s artery-busting lumps of doom over this.  You can really tell that McDonald’s has never used gravy on any other menu item before, put it that way.

Of course, I didn’t have high hopes for this dish; I was really only trying it in the name of science.  Cuz hey, there are really only three types of people who buy McDonald’s: students, the homeless and parents of small children.  Let’s just say that if this serves as your kids’ first taste of poutine, they’ll probably never want to eat it again…

…which just means more crise cardiaque sur une assiette for the rest of us.

McDonald’s has finally found a suitable successor to the Crispy Chicken Sandwich

Man, even when I was a kid I wasn’t a huge Big Mac fan. I grew up on Chicken McNuggets, before I discovered the since discontinued Crispy Chicken Sandwich. That burger was TheBomb.ca, bro! You had breaded chicken, a whole buncha mayo, lettuce and tomato on a bakery bun. Dude, this is body by Crispy Chicken Sandwich!

But now they don’t make ‘em anymore. Every once in a while though, McDonald’s rolls out a premium chicken product for a limited time offer. I thought the CBO was only OK, but this new sandwich, the 12, is a 10 in my books, bro!

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OK, let’s break it down. You start with a crispy chicken breast (you could get it grilled, but why bother, bro?) and add a tasty slice of Swiss cheese. Glop on some “Applewood seasoned sauce,” which is like tangy mayo with a kick, and toss some lettuce and tomato between a double-seeded bun. That’s right, this one’s got both poppy and sesame seeds, son! This deluxe chicken sandwich is about to make a merger with my piehole!

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Can you say Merger, Merger, Chicken Burger?