Tag Archives: Patois Toronto

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: We be jammin’ this Jamaican patty double down!!!

Patois has gotta be one of the funkiest joints in the city, serving up Jamaican/Chinese fusion since 2014. I already ordered their jerk chicken and oxtail dinner kit in the early days of the pandemic, but this time, I’m going back for something I only had once, waaaay back in the day — their Jamaican take on a KFC Double Down, with cheese and bacon between two Jamaican meat patties. Is this love, is this love, is this love that I’m feelin’, bro???

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OK, now this is slightly different than the original version, which came in a bun — but it’s still pretty funkalicious. The first few bites are pretty much just patty, but when you get to the cheese and bacon in the middle, that’s what makes it, right there. I kinda wished they doubled down on the bacon, though, bro…

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But you KNOW I’m not just crushing one sando, son!!! This Dirty Fried Rice is packed with peas, Chinese sausage and scrambled eggs, and it’s just 10 bucks with Skip The Dishes — that’s a lot more rice than it looks, bro! Everything was nice ‘n hot, and I won’t say I was full after finishing this…but I maybe only had room for a small dessert.

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Since I’m pretty good at drinking beer, I washed this down with a Bear Runner Blonde Ale, brewed in North Bay by New Ontario Brewing Co. This nice, lighter beer tastes pretty good when it’s 200,000 degrees out and you want to drink something that’ll cool you off, but not overpower you, or when you’re eating a lotta food, and don’t wanna feel too bloated afterwards. Both of those sound like pretty good reasons to me, bro!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKOUT: Takin’ and bakin’ some real-deal Jamaican!!!

Now, I’ve never been to Patois before… but I did have their Jamaican patty double-down sammy at Union Market a few years back, so I knew their food’s legit. And when I found out they were delivering care packages of heat-‘n-eat Jamaican classics, you KNOW I had to get in on that, bro!

Now, their half pack was meant for two people, but if you’re stuck in self-isolation, there’s probably enough food here for two full meals — in fact, that’s just what I did.

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So, we’re starting off with a Jamaican takeout classic — jerk chicken with rice and peas and coleslaw. And lemme tell ya, there was more than enough coleslaw for two people here! Now, the chicken leg was alright ‘n all, but when I bit into the breast, that’s when the magic happened…

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Dude, this breast is the best! The meat was super tender and juicy, the skin gets a little extra char from being reheated in the oven, and there’s a little bit of spice, but not too overpowering. Of course, I washed it all down with a Jamaican ginger beer…

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And even after slaughtering a half-chicken, rice and peas, and at least a pound of crunchy coleslaw, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro!!!!

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Now, I’m guessing they don’t chow down on this dish in Trenchtown — but it doesn’t get much more Toronto than rum cake tiramisu! You’ve got cocoa, you’ve got marscapone…but instead of ladyfingers, it’s a real-deal Carribean rum cake underneath! I’ve had rum cake from the Bahamas, and this one was definitely on point!!!

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Now, since we went with the Jamaican classic dinner on Friday, tonight was more of a buffet of flavours from the rest of the delivery order. You’ve got stewed oxtail in a rich gravy, a couple itty bitty beef patties, Trinidadian-style mac pie, a side of plantain chips with garlic sauce…oh and some kimchi brussels sprouts. Yeah, I dunno how those got here, either.

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Now, even though I probably needed to reheat it longer than they suggested, the oxtail meat still came right off the bone — these are like little baby beef ribs in Flavourtown! The patties were nice ‘n hot after 15 min in the oven, the plantain chips with the garlic sauce was a nice, tasty snack and that mac pie, man…I wish I could have mac ‘n cheese shaped into a pie with every meal — there’s nothing wrong with that at all!

On the other hand, I wasn’t as much a fan of the kimchi brussels sprouts, a dish served cold like revenge. Now, I don’t mind kimchi with Korean BBQ, but the bitterness kinda clashed with the oxtail gravy and everything else — one of these tings was not like the other, mon!

Oh, and speaking of Ting…

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This Jamaican 7-Up goes pretty good with spicy food — although the only thing that was really spicy about tonight’s meal was the pineapple scotch bonnet sauce on the side. (I still got a bunch of it left to make some hot wings, or something…) For an extra 25 bucks, Patois will add a six-pack of Red Stripe to your order, but I gotta say, I’m glad I stuck with the Jamaican soda. Yeah, we be jammin!

We be jammin’ this double down Jamaican jerk patty sandwich!

OK, now this has gotta be one of the most funkalicious sammies I’ve feasted on in a while. So I’m hanging out on Front Street, where I’ve got a reservation at Casey’s, and I spot this little food stand serving up some honky tonk redonkadonk Island flavours in the Union Market. It’s Jamaican jerk joint meets KFC, with a splash of Sriracha on top. Check out this funky jam:

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So, what we’ve got here is not one, but two Jamaican beef patties, some nice, chewy bacon, Swiss cheese fondue, lettuce, tomato, and hot Sriracha, all served up inside a coco bun. I dunno who came up with this dish, but somebody give him a gold medal, cuz this is the Usain Bolt of culinary creativity.

Now, if we break it down, the bacon is super tasty, we get a soft crunch from the patty shell and a spicy kick from the beef; the cheese just oozes all over the place, but the Sriracha is what makes it. Dude, they take a Scarborough convenience store staple, cross it with the greatest culinary creation in KFC history, and then add some Thai spiciness to the mix!? That is so far outta bounds, it’s like throwing the discus into the fifth row!

And no, that’s not a tear in my eye—it’s the sriracha talking, bro.

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