Tag Archives: philly cheesesteak

Gonna take it right into the danger zone with Top Gun Burgers!!!!

Man, I don’t think I’ve even ordered Uber Eats ever since I had to spend time in “self-isolation” after my trip to Iceland (cuz that was still a thing back in January). But I can’t be rollin’ out all over this city, looking for Toronto’s greatest burgers, bacon and beer every night. Sometimes, I just wanna stay in and watch Top Gun for the 100,000th time. You KNOW I feel the need for speed, bro!!!!

And hey, if I’m gonna watch my second-favourite Scientologist (John Travolta FTW!) fly fighter planes, then there’s only one place I’m ordering takeout from, and that’s Top Gun Burgers, this funky little joint in Kensington Market. Not all of their sammies are named after characters from the movie — but a few of ’em certainly are. I guess you can’t copyright the word Goose, eh? 😉

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Now, I haven’t even seen Top Gun: Maverick yet, but it can’t be as good as the original, right? And when it comes to Top Gun Burgers, this OG is baller like Anunoby, bro! Maverick is a beefy double cheeseburger that’s almost as big as Tom Cruise in real life. You’ve got lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, mushrooms, a fried egg, and all sorts of donkey sauce oozing all over the place. Clean up in Aisle Flavourtown, bro!!!!

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Goose is actually a chicken burger, which kinda makes sense. I mean, you’re not gonna find foie gras at a fast food burger joint (unless it’s Holy Chuck), so chicken is about as close as it gets. Now, this ain’t yer average chicken burger, either. Instead of one chicken patty, you’ve got four chicken strips. And yes, it’s about as messy as you might imagine, cuz it’s kinda hard to keep four separate pieces of chicken between two buns. But that chicken is tender, juicy, and just a little peppery… Show me the way home, honey!!!!

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And last but not least, it’s Iceman, a Philly cheesesteak sandwich smothered in queso and donkey sauce. You’ve actually got a few unusual veggies here besides onions and peppers — lettuce, tomato and pickles — but the main ingredients are definitely cheese and beef. On that note, the steak is not thinly sliced, it’s cubed, which gives it a little more chew. And that cheese sauce is soooo outta bounds, bro! You can be my wingman any time!!!!

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And yes, I did crush all three sandos by myself, bro. I don’t even feel uncomfortably full, but you can bet that in a couple hours, I’m gonna feel the need for something else. Let’s just say it’s time to buzz the porcelain tower… 😛

Choose Your Own Adventure Burger @ Storm Crow Manor

Now, I wouldn’t say I’m a nerd or nothing…although I did spend my high school years sitting at the table next to the cafeteria cuz they would give me free food at the end of lunch hour if they didn’t sell out. But when I heard that Storm Crow Manor, Canada’s Nerdiest Bar, was opening up in downtown Toronto, I was all over that like a fat kid on cafeteria pizza, bro!

Man, if you like sci-fi or super heroes, you’ll go nuts for funky dishes like Rebel X-Wings, Wolverine Poutine, Big Truffle in Little Chip-a…and these heroes in a deep-fried shell, Teenage Mutant Ninja Pickles:

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Dude, these pickles are super-hot and crispy, with enough batter to make everything better! They’re like, eight to an order, which is enough for two or three people–or one Guy Fieri wannabe from Calgary, bro! And you KNOW one does not simply go to Storm Crow Manor to eat pickles…

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OK, so here’s the deal. They’ve got this funky dish called the Dungeon Burger, which is kinda like going to Harvey’s…except you don’t choose your toppings, the dice chooses for you. With a roll of the 20-sided dice, you pick your bun, meat, cheese, toppings, sauces and sides…and it even comes with a trading card!

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I added one extra rule to this game–if I landed on something vegan, I got to go again. So I started out by rolling a 16 on the bun, which means baguette, and then for meat I got shaved prime rib, which should go together nicely. For toppings, I got tomato, shredded lettuce…and then I kept landing on lettuce again (they also have romaine). I definitely did NOT need two kinds of lettuce, so with a flick of the wrist, I rolled an 18…which meant tortilla chips. That’s right, this is nacho average beef dip, bro!!!

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OK, so let’s break it down. The baguette was nice ‘n toasty, the beef had a nice chew. A bit of juice from the tomato, some crunch from the nachos…and in the sauce department, I rolled ketchup, Storm Crow secret sauce and then a 20, which is Choose Your Own Sauce. I went with Sriracha aioli — dude, it’s like donkey sauce mixed with hot sauce!!! But having three sauces on the sammy made the chips a little soggy, and I couldn’t taste the secret sauce at all. Maybe next time I’ll just stick with two sauces…

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Now, when it came to decide on sides, there were two basic options–fries and green salad–and then a few more that cost extra money. To make it more likely you’d get one of the cheaper sides, rolling 1 to 6 would be fries and 7 to 12 would be salad, so you had to roll 13 or above to get something else. And wouldn’t you know I rolled between 7 and 12 like three times in a row–you don’t win friends with salad, bro! So finally, on my third re-roll, I got a baked potato, which is two dollars more…but hey, it does come with sour cream, chives and bacon, so I’d say that’s a big win!

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4 meats, 1 bun, bro!!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Philthy Philly’s, this funky fresh sandwich joint inside a food fair at Yonge and Gerrard. This place just opened up downtown a couple weeks back, but they’ve got a buncha them in the suburbs already. And it’s sorta like Subway on steroids–serving up some massive meat sammies like this Flavourtown fearsome foursome, The Big Boss:

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Y’know, my motto’s always been, why eat just one meat when you can have four? And they’re piling them up on this massive meatstravaganza right here! You’ve got steak, you’ve got chicken, you’ve got bacon strips AND peameal, all freshly chopped and cooked up on the grill. Top it off with provolone, Cheez Whiz, onions, bell peppers AND holla-atcha-penos, and you’ve got enough stuff to stuff Ben Simmons, bro! But you KNOW we ain’t full yet…

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Why YES, that is a lean, mean pierogi poutine! They basically take a real-deal fries/curds/gravy combo and add bacon, onions, sour cream and four pierogis on top! That’s like eating two meals in one, son! But you know it’s just a side dish in Flavourtown…

philthy_philly_aftermath (2)WE DON’T STOP UNTIL WE’RE DONE, SON!!!!

 

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