Tag Archives: poutine

I’m gonna squash some squash poutine, son!!!

Now, we’ve had all kinds of poutine here on Triple B — and this classic combination of fries, curds and gravy almost always involves potatoes. So when I heard that Neon Tiger, this funky little joint on Dupont, was serving up a squash poutine, well, that is something you definitely don’t see every day. So I had to go check it out, bro!!!!

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I gotta say, the squash was actually the best part of this dish, coming in all hot and crispy. You’ve also got a bit of a clash between the hot, melted cheese and the cold kimchi…but man, there was so much gravy in this dish that it was practically poutine soup. And that’s not cool.

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On the other hand, their Bulgogi cheesesteak really hits the spot. This simple sammy is just steak and Swiss cheese on a soft, chewy roll — nothing wrong with that at all!!!!

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Now, you ain’t gonna find any craft beer here — they just stick to Asian macrobrews. But hey, this Tiger beer ain’t bad, and it is in the name of the restaurant, so… I think I’ll have a couple of these.

LA POUTINE WEEK 2022: 10 pounds of poutine in a 9-pound bag…

We’re coming up to the end of La Poutine Week, so we’re saving the biggest and baddest for last, bro!  Now, most places on the list were serving up poutines for 10-15 bucks… but Smoke’s Poutinerie, the friendly neighbourhood poutine chain that’s been dishing it out since 2009, was going all out with the Slaughterhouse, a 28-dollar dish that’s packing not one, not two, not three, not four but five different meats on top of fries, curds and gravy — shut the front, back, side, rear, aft, port and starboard doors, mighty mighty broseph!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Now, you could double, triple, quadruple or even quintuple down on any of the five kinds of meat they had here, but I decided to do one of everything: bacon, pulled pork, chicken, steak and “prime beef” (which I think is just ground beef, bro). Man, this meaty monstrosity was like The Song that Never Ends in Flavourtown — no matter how much I ate, this box still seemed like it was full. I did eventually get to the bottom, though…

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When they say this baby is not for your average poutine eater, they definitely weren’t kidding. Although I think they were lying about the weight — they said 3 pounds, but I had to carry this thing home, and I swear it weighed more than I lift at the gym, bro! Between all the meats, the bacon, pulled pork and steak were what stood out. I guess I saw some chunks of chicken, and I’m still not sure what prime beef is. But the cheese curds were the stars of the show, staying perfectly squeaky all the way home. In fact, as I was getting full, they became the hardest thing to chew… but a can full of Canuck brew helps the poutine-icine go down, Mary Bro-ppins!!!!!!

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LA POUTINE WEEK 2022: Ain’t no thing but a chicken…tender?

Back in the day, it was an old-timey sales tactic to price something at, say, $14.99 instead of $15 so that folks would think they were getting a better deal. But when it comes to food delivery apps, places that do this are a real pain in the ass. Let’s say there’s a promotion where you hafta spend $30 to save 20% and you order something that costs $29.99. Well, even though it’s basically 30 bucks, you’re still one cent short, and you have to add another item to get the discount. Bad news, broseph!!!!

So, to recap, DoorDash’s La Poutine Week discount kicks in when you spend at least 15 bucks, including the special poutine. Now, most places are charging at least 15 bucks for their Poutine Week special — except for the Duke of York, which charges $14.99. Whether they are using old-timey sales tactics or just wanna make people add something else to their order, this really grinds my gears, bro! So that’s why you see a bottle of ice tea (which costs $2.49, natch) in the photo above. But hey, they did throw in a free cookie and a decent-sized container of ranch dressing, so I guess I can call it even…

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Now, the DoorDash description calls this Wing Poutine, but it’s pretty clear that these are chicken tenders. (To be faiiiiiir, they are described as “boneless breaded chicken” on the listing, although I guess I was expecting them to be chunkier or something.) They also let you choose your sauce — I went with “Hot,” figuring it would only be sports bar spicy — and I was right. It had about as much kick as a decent Buffalo wing. And hey, there is plenty of chicken to go around…

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Now, here’s the weird thing. My first few bites, the fries were still crispy…but the cheese curds weren’t melted at all. Then it hit me — did they even put any gravy on here? Well, I dunno if the gravy went on first, or if the chicken just weighed it down, but there was plenty of gravy at the bottom of the container. And the best bites were when you got some of that gravy, with the properly melted cheese, a couple fries and a piece of chicken. Just not sure what happened up top, bro???

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LA POUTINE WEEK 2022: Pour some gravy on me…in the name of love!!!

Just like how DoorDash brought Le Burger Week in Toronto back from the dead last year, it’s now doing the same with La Poutine Week, by taking 8 dollars off orders of 15 bucks or more from participating poutineries. Man, the last time I even bothered to cover this week was in 2016, so it’s been a while. And they do have a few more options than Burger Week, too, with 10 places to order from — although one appears to be permanently closed and another joint is serving up pho instead of poutine, which is kinda weird…

In any case, we are kicking off La Poutine Week 2022 with a tasty little dish from Loaded Pierogi. Now, I’ve had some funky surf ‘n turf pierogis from this place before, so I know they’re outta bounds, but this is the first time I’ve even been served poutine with gravy on the side. I guess they didn’t want the fries to get soggy in delivery — although the 17 other things they put on this poutine already took care of that. And while I’m all aboard this gravy train, I don’t think there was enough good gravy to go around:

Now, they call this The Queso-Rizo Poutine, and it’s pretty redonkulous. You’ve got fries covered in queso, topped with big ol’ chunks of chorizo, shredded cheddar, crispy jalapenos, caramelized AND green onions and that gravy served separately. That’s what I call starting Poutine Week off in style, son!!!!

Dude, that chorizo is TheBomb.ca, and they don’t shortchange ya, either! Queso adds a nice creaminess, and there’s a bit of a kick from the onions and hot peppas. You might have noticed that there aren’t actually any Quebec cheese curds here — so maybe you can’t call it poutine — but in that case, these were some of the best chorizo cheese fries I’ve ever had, bro!!!!!

PATIO LIT EATS: Labour Day burgers & beers @ C’est What Beer Garden

Labour Day means the end of summer is coming soon, and we’ve probably got just another week or two of patio weather left. So we’re celebrating the long weekend at C’est What Beer Garden, this outdoor drinking space down a back alley from the C’est What brewpub. Last time we were at C’est What, we pretty much had the place to ourselves (this was right after indoor dining had just reopened after First Lockdown), and the beer garden was also pretty private on a Saturday evening. But you know what I say — Saturday night’s alright for drinking, Bro-ton John!!!!!

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We’re getting this party started with a Haberdasher Hefeweizen from the renegades of funk at Muddy York. Now, I do enjoy a good German wheat beer, and this one’s got the flavour down in Flavourtown. Basically, this beer tastes like bananas — and bananas are good, bro!!!!!

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Speaking of renegades of wheat, this next one is another funky wheat beer coming direct from the C’est What brewery. C’est What Ginger Wheat is sorta like drinking an Arizona ice tea — if Arizona ice tea had 4.5% alcohol…

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This High Grade IPA is coming straight outta Hamilton with just enough hops that you know you’re getting the good stuff!

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Up next, we’re got Al’s Cask Ale, a nitro-brewed pale ale that tastes a bit like an English bitter, or even a stout. Nothing wrong with that at all!

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As you can see, it’s getting pretty dark out, but we’ve still got time to kick out the j… erm, jam up the mash, muthafucka!!!! (Last call at the beer garden is 10 pm.)

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Of course, we can’t slam all those beers on an empty stomach, so I ordered a Lamburger with a side of poutine. This playful, mysterious little dish is served on a naan flatbread with Emmental cheese, lettuce, cucumber and a side of tzatziki — I put that shit on everything, son!

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Poutine was a bit of a bummer, though. Sure, it had the GFC — gravy, fries and curds — but the fries were too thin and the gravy was too lumpy for this ever to set foot in the Poutine Hall of Fame.

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Oh, and I still had room for some late-night tostidos. These Mexican-style spring rolls are stuffed with black beans and cheddar, and served with a spicy chipotle donkey sauce. ¡Cierra la puerta trasera!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Sucking on chili dogs at the back of Fancy Franks…

Today is Opening Day for the Blue Jays…although they were in New York today, and will play their “home games” in Florida until at least the end of May. Since it looks like we won’t be heading down to the ballpark anytime soon, we’re bringing the ballpark home with some real-deal Coney Island chili dogs from Francy Franks.

Suck on THIS chili dog, John Bro-gar Bro-llencamp! We’ve got a 100% beef wiener topped with meaty chili, chopped onions and mustard in a warm ‘n toasty bun. And you KNOW I didn’t eat just one, bro!!!

But that’s not all, folks! We’re kicking things up another notch with some chili poutine! This dish is like Chili Cheese Fries Gone Wild — with real-deal cheese curds to top it off. There is even some gravy on here, but it mostly either absorbed into the meat or settled at the bottom. And hey, this dish actually held up OK in delivery!

Now, we won’t have the CN Tower in the background on Opening Day, so instead we’re drinking a beer with the CN Tower on it — Divercity Helles Lager from Lost Craft. And hey, the Jays actually came back in extra innings to beat the Yanks!!!! Can I get a Helles Yeah, bro????

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TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon Burger, bro!!!

Now, The Works Craft Burgers & Beer has been bringing the beef since 2001 — it’s also where I slayed a (double) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Burger in 2016, so I know they know what’s up! They’re still dealing out some wild and crazy burgs with names like Obi-Wan Kobe’s Man Cave, Gettin’ Piggy With It and Elk on a Beech, but when I saw the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon burger, you KNOW I’m gonna kick off my Sunday shoes, bro!!!!!!!

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This massively meaty monstrosity is packing back bacon, smoked bacon, maple bacon, and even bacon sticks — which are kinda like Hickory Sticks‘ porkier cousins — on top a slab of well-cooked beef. It comes with lettuce and tomato, but you can also add extra toppings from a list that’s like as long as the menu at The Cheesecake Factory! So I went with pickles (which were free), an onion ring and some Kraft Dinner (each a dollar extra). Also, in a nod to the last time I ate at The Cheesecake Factory, I paid two dollars more for a cheese-stuffed patty…although I don’t see any cheese inside, bro???

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Dude, this burger’s so outta bounds, it’s gotta quarantine for two weeks when it gets back! I mean, if you like the taste of meat on top of meat, on top of meat, then this is the sandwich for you. Just a little crunch from the lettuce and pickles, but the onion ring kinda gets lost here. And about half the bacon sticks and the KD ended up in the container… Good thing I brought a fork, bro!

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Now, this place also lets you pick from 12 different sides, so I went with the Tragically Maple Poutine, which is topped with maple bacon, more of those bacon sticks, and then completely drenched in bacon garlic donkey sauce. So much sauce that you can’t even taste the curds ‘n gravy, which makes this dish about as tragic as its name suggests.

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Man, even though The Works Craft Burgers & Beer has got beer right in its name, they don’t actually deliver the booze — you can get it for pickup through their website, though. So instead, I reached into the fridge for this renegade of funkalicousness, Autopop (you don’t stop!), a session sour with cherry cola from Blood Brothers. And I gotta say, when you lift the glass to your mouth, you can really smell the Cherry Coke. But in the taste department, it’s much more sour beer than soda pop…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Greek burger with Greek poutine

Before the pandemic, I’d sometimes head down to Alexandros on Queen’s Quay for some quick and easy Greek food. It was mostly a takeout spot, although they did have a small front patio that was right on the lake, which wasn’t a bad place to sit in the summertime. So when I found out they had another location downtown on Church Street, you know I had to check it out. Only, instead of ordering a Greek classic like gyros or souvlaki, I went with more of a mashup with this Greek burger and a side of Greek poutine.

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Now, the burger patty had the taste and texture of a frozen burger from like M&M Meat Shop, but then they added Greek toppings like tomatoes, onions, tzatziki and feta cheese, and served it all in a really big bun. I gotta say, the flavour combo works. I mean, it’s like having a gyro, but instead it’s a burger. So I can go for that…

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Now, I have had Greek fries before on the Danforth, and maybe somewhere else, like W Burger Bar or something. But Alexandros is kicking it up a notch with this Greek poutine. You’ve got fries, a classic poutine-style gravy… but with feta instead of cheese curds. Now this gravy was actually more authentic than a lot of the poutines I’ve had in Toronto, and the saltiness of the feta didn’t seem outta place, but the problem was with the fries. They either didn’t cook ’em long enough or hot enough, cuz they were soft, and not crispy. A nice, crispy fry couldda tied this thing together, but now they’re making me wish I ordered a Greek salad — and that’s a crying shame in Flavourtown, bro!!!!!

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TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: You don’t need no blindfold for this Bird Box, bro!!!

Now, this is body by fried chicken, so when I found out about this new chicken joint called Bird Box on Dundas West, you KNOW I’m not gonna drive below 50 miles per hour to get there — Speed is still my favourite Sandra Bullock movie, bro!

Now, this place has everything: chicken sandwiches, chicken wraps, chicken fingers, chicken ‘n waffles — with no less than 30 different sauces to choose from! But as soon as I saw the Drunk and Chicks on the menu, you KNOW I was gonna take this Drunk Girl home, Chris Jan-son!!!

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Dude, this is like Hangover Breakfast Poutine Gone Wild in Flavourtown! You’ve got some nice, crispy fries, with real-deal cheese curds, and then they add chicken gravy, bacon, and not one, not two, but three chicken strips and a fried egg on top. So, it’s time to answer the age-old question, what goes down my piehole first, the chicken or the egg?

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While every part of this poutine was pretty tasty, there’s no question that the chicken is the star of the show. These house made strips put the tender in chicken tender, with nice ‘n juicy white meat. Man, next time I order this, I need to get a side of chicken strips, they were that good!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Thai-style chicken wings & poutine!

Bangkok Garden is one of the OG Thai joints in this city, serving up authentic Thai dishes downtown since the early 80’s. When we ate here in person, a couple years back, I scarfed down some succulent seafood skewers — but this time, for takeout, we’re going with their take on a couple Canadian classics… poutine AND chicken wings!

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Now, I think you actually can get chicken wings in Thailand — or at least at other Thai restaurants in town. But I always thought that Thai wings were a little too sweet. These ones definitely weren’t though, nice ‘n crispy with a little bit of Sriracha heat, and then some fish sauce for dipping. For 10 bucks, I definitely can’t complain!

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But the Thai poutine is where they really take it to another level! First of all, the fresh-cut fries were fricken delicious — definitely the best fries I’ve ever had from any Asian joint! But what kicks it up another notch is the red curry sauce. I mean, you wouldn’t think that fries, cheese and curry would go together, but the end result is magically delicious. I would totally order this the next time I dine in at Bangkok Garden!!!

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