Tag Archives: prime rib

Prime rib AND lobster — just 15 bucks, bro!!!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Woodbine Casino, this funky gambling joint up in Rexdale, where every Thursday and Friday they’re serving up prime rib and two lobster tails for just 15 bucks! With a deal like that, you KNOW how I’m gonna be spending my Friday night, son!!!

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Now, I asked for my meat medium-rare (which is the second rule of Flavourtown), and it mighta been a bit overdone. But you still got the nice tenderness, the juices, just the right amount of fat, with plenty of horseradish to go around — I totally put too much on this bite though, bro!!!

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Now, the lobster was pretty small — they cut each tail in half, so you get four pieces all about this size. It’s also grilled, not boiled, so the meat kinda sticks to the shell. And they don’t give you no lobster fork, neither…so it takes a bit of work. But once you put that buttery, buttery meat to your mouth, it’s soooo worth it!!!

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Now, you don’t just get steak and lobster for 15 bucks — it comes with mashed potatoes, green beans, zucchinis, and this crazy side dish: half a tomato, topped with bread crumbs. I never wouldda thought to eat tomato with prime rib (or lobster) before…but hey, it actually kinda works?

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Of course, even after polishing off that low-priced plate of perfection, I still had room for dessert. Now, this chocolate brownie was hard as a rock — I could barely break it with a spoon, bro!!! Definitely needed to defrost it a bit longer…but the chocolate per bite ratio was about right!

I should mention that to get this awesome deal, you gotta get a rewards card — otherwise, it’s like 27 dollars. But membership is free, and they also give you five bucks to play the slots. On my very first spin, I hit the big jackpot…

woodbine_casino_ticket (2)WINNER, WINNER, SWISS CHALET DINNER!!!!

Slaying the best Sunday brunch buffet in Mississauga…

So, we’re back in Port Credit, hanging out at the “Best Sunday Brunch in Mississauga” (according to themselves, anyways), where we’re scarfing down bacon, beef and breakfast tacos–that’s like three of the four essential food groups right there, bro! This is Breakwater Restaurant:

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Now, we’re going all around the world with this first plate: mushroom pizza, breakfast taco, shrimp roll and two kids of salad: potato AND pasta! (Hey, I don’t always eat salad bro, but as long as it’s not all green stuff, we’re good.) The breakfast taco was super-messy; one bite and the egg yolk sprayed all over my face like goat semen at a testicle festival. But the shrimp roll was the best thing on this plate, by far!

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Next up, we’ve got a flaky croissant, deep-fried fish with tartar sauce, a waffle with strawberries, some home-fried potatoes, a couple pepperonis, for added colour, and a whole buncha bacon–because why settle for sausage when you can stuff your face with bacon, bro???

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Of course, I couldn’t wait any longer before hitting up the carving station, son! We’ve got some roast beef, mushroom medley (served cold, unfortunately), foccacia with hummus and a few breakfast sausages, just to make it a two-meat plate. The beef was a little too well-done, but still pretty tasty…

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And hey, you can’t hit up a Sunday brunch buffet without taking a trip to the omelette station. This egg-on-egg action is crammed with ham, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and cheddar. Plus a whole pile of bacon on the side. Dude, this is body by bacon!!!!

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And YOU KNOW we’ve still got room for dessert, bro!!! There’s a piece of carrot cake, blueberry flan, a double-dose of chocolate square and some chocolate pudding/mousse, with a two-bite brownie and a giant blackberry. It’s like research in motion…heading straight down my piehole!!!!

This is el primo prime rib sando, bro!

So, we’re hanging out at Bar Wellington, this friendly neighbourhood spider-joint just west of Spadina in a rapidly redeveloping part of the city. Now, this old house was built in 1891, but their menu is brand spankin’ new, bro! They’re serving up comfort-food lunchtime classics like french onion soup, grilled chicken club and even a chorizo mac ‘n cheese…but when I see prime rib on the menu, you KNOW I’m digging in. Check out this funky righteous jam, brother!

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They call this not your average prime rib sandwich, and I assure you, it’s anything but ordinary. The beef is sliced thin, tender and nicely seasoned. But then you’ve got roasted tomato, avocado and melted cheese, please! All that, and they serve it up on garlic toast–that’s like a toasty Triple B teaser in Flavourtown! And for 16 bucks, it ain’t a bad price either, Bro-rannosaurus Rex!!!!

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This is el primo prime rib, bro!

So, we’re hanging out at Harbour Sixty, the classy waterfront joint where Bay Street bankers eat steak during the first two periods of the Leafs game before showing up halfway through the third. The building doesn’t look like much from the outside, but on the inside, it’s super luxurious, with massive cuts of meat, real-deal side dishes and fine wines that cost more than a car payment on the Camaro. (Good thing I gulped down some moonshine ahead of time, son!)

Now, there are some other things on the menu, but if you’re not ordering the steak, you’re doing it wrong. The star of the show is the 22 oz prime rib…which would be the second-biggest of its kind I’ve ever eaten:

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This hunka-hunka-slab of meat is super juicy and tender, served in its own juice with some horseradish on the side. But while I mostly eat meat, I can’t survive on steak alone, so I ordered up a couple sides, too.

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These lobster mashed potatoes were pretty funkalicious, bro. You’ve got the piping-hot potato, served nice and creamy, with some tasty chunks of lobster mixed in for good measure. This is almost a meal in itself…if you’ve got a small appetite. But that’s not all, folks!

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Now, this is pretty outta-bounds, dude. You’ve got buttermilk fried cauliflower, drenched in Buffalo wing sauce, with some blue cheese dressing underneath. I’ve had some pretty funky cauliflower before, but this one takes the cake!

Anyhoo, I didn’t actually have room for dessert this time, but I didn’t leave any leftovers, either:

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I survived Milestones’ Prime Rib Hash (1,990 calories, 1,770 mg sodium)

Did you know that Milestones is open at 10 am on weekends for brunch, bro? When you think Sunday brunch, do you even think Milestones? Me neither, but I gotta say, their brunch selections are pretty solid. You’ve got breakfast tacos, chicken ‘n waffles, a candied bacon omelette…but none of those dishes have 1,990 calories. So let me introduce you to my friend prime rib hash:

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Now, I know hash is usually made up of whatever’s left in the fridge after a big family dinner, but I still wanna know who came up with this recipe—seems like somebody went on a tequila bender with Anthony Bourdain till 2 am. You’ve got all sorts of super-tender beef, swimming in a super-tangy sauce, with a couple poached eggs on top, some hash browns, red peppers and corn… I dunno, for colour or something. I guess somebody was having prime-rib tacos for dinner the night before. The only thing that’s missing are The Chicharones!

And then, on the side you’ve got grilled focaccia toast. Cuz why have regular Wonder Bread when you can have grilled focaccia toast? Dude, I don’t think I ever wouldda come across this dish if I hadn’t heard about it on the CBC, but I was lovin’ every minute of it! And hey, they even serve OJ in a cocktail glass:

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I swear that’s just juice bro—the Ontario government doesn’t letcha start drinkin’ till 11!

An ode to the Subway Prime Rib Melt…

(Originally written November 5, 2014)

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O Prime Rib Melt, shall I compare thee to a regular sub?

Thou art more tasty and more flavourful,

Though this past October otherwise fucking sucked,

And your limited-time offer hath all too short a date;

Sometime too hot your Subway oven burns,

And often the sandwich artist can’t understand simple instructions,

But when I unwrap your melty sandwichness,

You need no introduction;

But thy eternal deliciousness shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of your prime rib,

Until thine offer dost runneth out,

And I’ll probably never eat at fucking Subway again!!!!