Tag Archives: ribs

How to make TheBomb.ca beef ribs at home

I fucking love beef ribs, bro!!!! Whether it’s eating them for breakfast at a ribfest, a whole whack of them for 19 bucks at Smoke Bourbon, or finding them on special at one of the many great BBQ joints all over this city, if you’re asking “Where’s the beef?” the answer is straight down my piehole, son! But one thing I’ve never done was try to make them at home. So when I saw beef ribs on special at Longo’s, I figured I’d give’r a go. Here’s how that all went down:

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OK, so first of all, I found this recipe on the internet for insane-in-the-membrane beef ribs, so I knew it had to be good. The recipe says to boil ’em for 20 minutes while you preheat the oven and prepare the sauce. But I ain’t got stuff like red wine, brown sugar or curry powder ’round here, so instead, I reached for my old friend Bull’s-Eye. It’s the official sauce of the Stampede, son!

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But this ain’t any old BBQ sauce–it’s Guinness BBQ sauce, bro! Pretty sure I bought this on St. Patty’s Day on the way home from Pogue Mahone, cuz the seal was already broken ‘n shit…but it’s all good in the Flavourhood, homes!

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So, once the ribs came out of the pot, I smothered ’em in enough Guinness sauce to drown an Irishman, then stuck ’em in the oven for half an hour. The recipe said to pour the remaining sauce overtop, but since I didn’t measure, that just meant more saucy goodness for me!!!

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So now, here comes the fun part. At this point, these ribs have taken me 50 minutes to prepare, and I’m so hungry I could eat a flip-flop with nothing on it, and it would still taste good! Alas, these ribs weren’t quite the stuff that legends are made of. I shouldda cut the fat off the back first, and probably didn’t need to cook them so long–but that’s not to say I didn’t lick my plate clean like KISS with no makeup, bro!

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Beef ribs for brunch, bro!!!!

Man, I love the smell of grilled meat in the morning! And this weekend, at Yonge-Dundas Square, they’re all fired up like Pat Benatar from 11 am until 11 pm for the Northern Heat Series Yonge Dundas Square Ribfest. At this place, they grill ’em all–chicken, ribs, pulled pork, and this tender nugget of beef-love in Flavourtown, served up in a slab for 23 bucks and change, son!

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Now, we got our ribs from Oak & Barrel straight outta Chilliwack, and lemme tell ya, they weren’t gone gone gone too long straight down my piehole, bro! They’ve got this wicked-awesome whiskey-soaked BBQ sauce that takes this dish straight down to Downtown Flavourtown. We scarfed down so many of these suckers that my body is at least 5% beef rib right now. Good thing I don’t hafta take a Beefalyzer before getting behind the wheel of the Camaro!!!!

Meaty quadruple decker on the Danforth, dude!

My motto in life has gotta be “Why eat one meat when you can have four?” Real talk, bro. But hey, that’s only because “When it’s right, it’s right” was already taken by Ron Burgundy. So, we’re hangin’ out at Greenwood Smokehouse, this cozy, homestyle BBQ joint just a Will Ferrell fastball away from Pape Station. This is probably the first BBQ joint I’ve been to–and I’m certainly no stranger to barbecue–where they had an open kitchen, so you come out of there smelling like hickory. But that’s the price you gotta pay for eating four meats between two slices of bread sometimes, y’know?

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They call this the Danforth Decker, and it’s like a house party upper decker in Flavourtown–this sandwich is the shiznit, son! You’ve got beef brisket, you’ve got pulled pork, you’ve got ribs, house bacon ‘n cheddar, all between dry white toast. And they don’t just give you one section, or two sections, or three sections, but four whole sandwich sections, dude! Because why eat one meat sandwich when you can have four is pretty much my life story, bro!

Now, I will say that when you get this many meats slathered in the same sauce, you can’t always taste everything. I really didn’t get too many bacon-y notes, and if there’s cheese on this sandwich, it clearly dissolved into the meat tsunami. Not that I’m complaining–meat tsunami was my nickname in high school. It’s sorta like a sharknado, except instead of live sharks, you’ve got beef brisket, bro!

(Actually, I did have a shark sandwich in Cleveland, and hey, it wasn’t bad…)

WINTERLICIOUS 2017: …And then we ate Elvis for dessert!

So, we’re hangin’ out at Lisa Marie, this funkalicious food palace on Queen St West. Man, last time was here, I totally went to town on some meatballs that were so big, I could barely fit ‘em in my mouth! This place is super-legit, so I knew for Winterlicious, they’d be doing it up right…and they definitely didn’t disappoint!

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They call these Alabama Tailgaters, and they party harder than a Buffalo Bills fan, bro! What we’ve got here is some beef tenderloin, stuffed with cheese and kim chi, and then wrapped in bacon, son! The beef is nice and tender, the bacon is crispalicious, and then you’ve got these righteous green beans swimming in chili sauce underneath. Pretty sure I could slam seven of these!!!

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But the star of the show was the house-smoked ribs. The entire Triple B crew went with the pig bones, and they were on point. Nice, smoky flavour, meat was nice and tender…and then you got a bit of coleslaw and cornbread on the side. At this point, I figured out that the Winterlicious menu does not give you full-sized portions. I mean, this is not much of a dessert, really:

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But lemme tell ya, brother, what it lacks in size, it more than makes up in flavour! They call this dish The Elvis, and it’s got brioche French toast, brown-sugar bananas—and bananas are good—peanut butter, whipped cream, and then a little piece of candied bacon on top. It’s like you’re caught in a trap, and you can’t break out, because you’re eating Elvis baby!!!!

Eatin’ all the meats @ Adamson’s

So, a couple weeks back, we went to Adamson’s Barbecue, this real-deal, industrial-strength, Texas-style BBQ joint deep in the heart of Toronto for some super-legit turkey dinner. Now that bird WAS the word, bro! But with so many great meats on offer, you know I couldn’t eat just one, so now we’re back to try everything else on the menu. Feast your eyes on this, friends:

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Man, this plate has everything: beef brisket, pulled pork, a fall-off-the-bone rib, beans, coleslaw, white bread, pickles, onions…but of course that wasn’t quite enough food for me, so I also got a jalapeno/cheese-curd sausage on the side. Talk about an unexpectedly tasty flavour combination—turns out jalapenos and cheese curds go together like maple syrup on poutine! (Three words, bro: cabane à sucre!)

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Now, in order to find the optimal method to shovel all this grub straight down my piehole, I put together an outta-bounds double-pork slammin’ sammy. Check it out—you’ve got some pulled pork, beans and coleslaw on white bread, and then I stuck a trio of sausage slices on top for that extra kick. Now, this might get a bit messy—some of the sauce from the beans was starting to soak through the bread—but I can tell you, it definitely tastes delicious!

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What else can I possibly say about this plateful of perfection? The brisket was so tender I could cut pull it apart with a fork, the pulled pork just melts in your mouth, and that might actually have been the best rib I’ve ever had in my life—and dude, this is body by ribs, bro! Next time I go back, I might just get a whole plate of ribs…and you know, there is definitely gonna be a next time, sooner rather than later!

Now, I know what you’re asking…could he possibly eat all that meat and still have room for dessert? Clown question, bro!!!

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Say hello to my little friend sweet potato pie! This super-delish dish is like pumpkin pie on steroids—it’s Canadian Thanksgiving on a crust, son! And you wouldn’t even know from eating it that this is the same stuff they make sweet potato fries with…it tastes totally different! But hey, I would totally go for a pie made outta sweet potato fries, with a side of chocolate/peanut-butter aioli. How is this not a thing yet!?

Chicken and brisket and ribs, oh my!

So, we’re hanging out at Carbon Bar, this funky post-industrial palace on Queen St East. This place is so fancy-schmancy, the maître D laughed at me when I showed up in my flip flops, my bling-bling and my AC/DC tee.  But hey, as my B.C. bros in Bison B.C. will tell you, These Are My Dress Clothes, dude!

Anyhoo, I came here for the Pit Master Platter, a jackpot-winning trifecta of pork ribs, beef brisket and buttermilk fried chicken. These are a few of my favourite things, bro. All that’s missing is pulled pork pizza and grilled cheese nachos…

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Now that is one round mound of deliciousness, son! The brisket is super tender, the ribs fall off the bone, and the chicken is nice ‘n crispy ‘n greasy…and completely boneless. But what really makes it is the cauliflower. Say what now?

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They call this dish KFC—as in Korean Fried Cauliflower. You’ve got a whole buncha crunchy caulis in a sweet, spicy sauce. And they definitely don’t shortchange ya, either!

On the other hand, the Pit Master Platter isn’t really that much bang for your buck. This plate is supposed to feed a family of four, but I’m pretty sure that me and Guy Fieri could polish it off, and still have room for dessert. And at 30 bucks a head, it makes for a pricy light snack in Flavourtown:

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(This is what you get when you divide it by four. #sadpanda #hungryhungryhippo)

I came, I saw, I tasted tons of great Toronto eats!

Last time I was at Fort York was for a War of 1812 re-enactment, presented by the Conservative Party of Canada. (I played General Harper Lee.) But this time was a lot tastier. We’re talking Taste of Toronto, an all-day, four-day foodfest serving up some of the best dishes from all over this city.

Now as soon as I walked in and saw a long-haired dude roasting lamb on a spit, I knew that I was in the right place. They’re serving it up righteous-style with bulgar salad and some freaky tzatziki, dude!

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Now, I don’t always eat salad, but when I do, I make sure it’s got roast pork, crispy pork skin, peanuts and pickles on top. This Indonesian dish brings the heat like Doc Halliday in his prime!

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How do you make ribs even better? Cook ’em in a root beer sauce, toss some corn nuts on top and smother with a nice jalapeno puree. This dish was equal parts crunchy and munchy!

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Speaking of root beer, I’ve wanted to try Mill Street’s boozy version ever since I first heard about it in a back alley behind an A&W. (Don’t ask me what I was doing in a back alley behind an A&W.) And I gotta say, they really nailed it. The carbonation is spot on, nice fizz to it, and while it tastes a lot like root beer, it’s also got a good rummy, boozy, kick. I would smuggle six of these into a youth soccer game…and I don’t even have kids!

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Speaking of cool refreshment, this one goes straight down…to Mexico. Can you say avocado popsicle, bro? Man, this would go great with some frozen nachos!

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Of course, it wouldn’t be a food fest without some winner, winner fried-chicken dinner. This two-piece combo is served Taiwanese style with some red hot chili peppers and two kinds of dipping sauce. Can’t stop me Flea, I’m addicted to this chicken!

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Now, when I was a kid, I ate so much calamari at the Olive Garden that I think they even named an octopus after me. But I never had it inside a bamboo charcoal bun…until today.

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Speaking of burgers, I heard that the Richmond Station serves up a mean one. They stuff it with short rib and serve it medium-rare with beet chutney and aged cheddar on a milk bun. I wouldn’t normally pay 10 bucks for half a slider–pretty sure I could eat 12 of these–but in this case, it was worth every nickel (y’know, cuz we don’t have pennies anymore)!

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Now, most people would probably stop there, but most people don’t have a tattoo of Guy Fieri on their lower back. And you know Guy would go crazy for these real-deal burnt ends, served up on a wafer made out of sticky rice. Dude, this is body by burnt ends on a sticky-rice wafer!

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Now, the first time I went to Kintori Yakitori, they didn’t knock my socks off. But this time, I went with the squid. Cuz whether it’s grilled or deep-fried, you really can’t go wrong with calamari, chico!

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You know I saved the best for last, bro. This had to be the funkiest dish at the festival, and I found it. Say hello to my little friend porchetta pizza, with flor di latte, asparagus, a poached egg yolk and fresh basil:

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Dude, I haven’t eaten this much food since I scarfed down 17 tacos last weekend! And I’ve still got room for BBQ tonight, cuz that’s how I roll…literally. I just tucked my legs in and made like Randy Bachman all the way down to the subway, son!