Tag Archives: salsa con queso

Pour some queso on me (in the name of cheese)!!!

Dude, if there’s one thing I love more than Def Leppard, it’s queso, bro! So when I heard that Wendy’s was rolling out not one, not two but three things with queso on ’em, I knew I had to try ’em all. Man, I would even put queso on a Frosty–why is that not on the menu???

bacon_queso_burger (2)

This Bacon Queso Burger was honky-tonk redonkadonk! You’ve got Wendy’s fresh, never frozen beef, some thick strips of bacon, purple onions and a nice slab of that queso sauce. And this ain’t no shitty stadium nacho cheese, neither–it’s got a bit of a kick, with some diced jalapenos in there and everything!

bacon_queso_chicken (6)

But man, the Bacon Queso Chicken was even better, bro! Pretty much anytime you combine bacon and breaded chicken, you know it’s gonna be good, but the cheese sauce really kicks it up a notch! Now, if only you could get a Bacon Queso Spicy Chicken sandwich…

bacon_queso_fries (10)

Now, the move with the Bacon Queso Fries is to let the cheese melt in, adding that extra level of cheesiness to the dish. It wouldda been better if they had broken up the bacon a bit more, but when you get a big ol’ chunk of bacon on your fork, that’s pretty much the perfect bite, right there:

bacon_queso_fries (13)

Dude, after devouring all that food, I don’t think I’d have room for that Bacon Queso Frosty anyways…

Remind me not to go to a hockey game in Halifax, bro!

Now, everybody knows you can’t have nachos without that ooey, gooey, disgustingly delicious cheese sauce, right? That’s a major nacho no-no, bro! But in Halifax, some Doofus McDorkstick decided to boost arena profits by only serving chips and salsa…and people are pretty cheesed off about it.

As Halifax Mooseheads season ticket holder Joey Maxwell told the CBC, “I thought it was B.S. that they didn’t offer the cheese anymore. I don’t understand the need to subtract something that makes something more edible.” You and me both, broseph! I could eat that cheese off a flip-flop, and it would still taste good!

cheese_flop

The GM of Halifax’s Scotiabank Centre, where the Mooseheads play, said they switched to a new concession-stand company last season. He pretends this is no big deal. “We go through the menus on an annual basis,” he told CBC Mainstreet. “This year we just happened to run with chips and salsa.” Suuuure. That’s like Guy Fieri saying “This year, I just happened to go on a roadtrip.” No way Jose!

Not only that, but they replaced the cheese with mild salsa. My main main Joey Maxwell ain’t havin’ none of it, either. “It’s just mild. There’s not really any spice. The cheese kind of gave it the spice and now you’re getting rid of it and it’s perplexing to me,” he said. He says he’s boycotting the concession stand, and he’s even started sneaking his own Tex Mex cheese blend into the games:

joey-maxwell

Dude, this guy is like the Commissioner of Snackfood in Flavourtown! But I’m going to take his boycott even further. Now, you know I’m rolling out all over this country, looking for the greatest burgers, bacon and beer…but I won’t be setting foot in Halifax until cheese justice is restored. I don’t care if The Tragically Hip is jamming with Kid Rock at the grand opening of Guy Fieri’s Halifax Seafood Shack—I will not show up unless I can put some freakin’ cheese on my freakin’ chips, son!!!!!

Who needs real cheese when you’ve got salsa con queso?

OK, so here’s the deal. This one time, I was making mac ‘n cheese, and I realized that I was all out of Cheestrings and Cheez-Its. So, to solve this dilemma, I reached into my nacho drawer, and pulled out this jar of good times:

mac_n_queso

Luckily, I still had some left over from that time I ate 10 Doritos Locos Tacos, so I poured it into the pot, and boom goes the cheesamite!

Throwback Thursday: That time I ate 10 Doritos Locos Tacos

(Originally written September 4, 2013)

doritos_locos

I had been waiting for this moment to arrive for eons, if not millennia.  Every time I’d see an ad for Doritos Locos Tacos within a commercial break during a football game, or another entertaining episode of Duck Dynasty, I’d immediately drop everything and run down to my nearest Taco Bell (which, incidentally, is three long blocks away).  But even if they weren’t closed at the time, they did not have any Doritos Locos Tacos; twas but an American-only offer… until now.  When I first heard the news that they were finally coming to Canada, I did not jump off the couch, because it was pretty late, and I am well aware of their hours of operation.  That said, I made sure to make my way down there this evening for a most delectable, gut-busting feast.

doritos_locos_receipt

As you can see, the 10 tacos only came to $15.90 plus tax, which is less than you’d pay for a martini at Suits Lobby Lounge.  They did try to upsell me to “Doritos Locos Tacos Supremos,” but it really wasn’t worth paying extra for a little salsa and sour cream, not when I’ve invited my friends Tabasco and Salsa Con Queso to the the party:

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What doesn’t taste better with processed cheese sauce? I’d put that stuff on a flip-flop!

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Man, this taco was like a one-way ticket to Flavourtown.  Make that 10 one-way tickets.  The shell was hard and crunchy up top, but soft and mushy on the bottom, which is less unappetizing than it sounds.  The beef was lightly seasoned, with the crispness of the lettuce, a little kick from the hot sauce…  But what makes this dish is the salsa con queso.  You’ve got the creaminess of the cheese sauce, some heat from the peppers–I put that shit on everything (or at least on macaroni).

Of course, 10 tacos in one sitting is not for the weak of cholesterol.  By the fifth one, I was already counting how many I had left; by the seventh, I could start to feel it in my chest.  When I bit into the ninth, the aftertaste kicked in, and I broke into a violent coughing fit about halfway through.  But nobody wants to be the guy who buys 10 Doritos Locos Tacos and only eats nine of them, so I soldiered on, leaving a whole mess of wrappers–and some orange Dorito fingers–in my wake:

taco_aftermath

(See those pill bottles on the left?  I’m gonna be needing some of all of them in a bit…)