Tag Archives: steak

Bonin’ a 22 oz bone-in ribeye @Morton’s The Steakhouse

You know me, this is body by steak, bro!!! We’re hanging out at Morton’s The Steakhouse, right in downtown Toronto at the Park Hyatt Hotel. Now, they might doing all kinds of construction next door, but they’re still serving up steaks inside…like this bad boy, the 22 oz bone-in ribeye:

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In case you’re wondering what 1,360 calories of primo beef looks like, you’re looking at it bro!!! This cow’s so country, it’s practically mooing on the plate! And then you’ve got sides of seasonal wild mushrooms and horseradish mash — dude, horseradish mash was my favourite dance in gym class!!!

Of course, you KNOW I ate everything on that plate, cept for the bone…

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…and I still had room for dessert!!!

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Feast your eyes on this big ol’ piece of hot chocolate cake, son! It’s rich on the outside, gooey on the inside, with a scoop of vanilla, some caramel drizzle and a couple of raspberries on top. After scarfing down this sexy thing, you KNOW I believe in miracles, bro!!!

Steakin’ and bacon @ STK (Winterlicious 2019)

Now, I only made it out to one funky joint for Winterlicious this year, cuz I was somewhere on a beach, Dierks Bro-ntly! But I figured if I was only gonna do one place for Winterlicious, it was gonna be this funky steakhouse right in the heart of Yorkville. We’re gettin’ some, gettin’ some at STK, son!

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Now, when I heard this joint was serving up double-smoked Applewood bacon as an appetizer, you KNOW I was all over that like fat on pork, bro! This steak-sized piece of back bacon totally reeks of unctuousness, with a balsamic BBQ sauce, holy shiitake shrooms and some red hot chili peppers, for that extra kick. Give it away, give it away, give it away now!!!!

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Of course, we’re still saving room for the main event. This 8 oz strip was definitely on the well-done side of medium rare, but it still had some nice juices, with mashed potatoes, black trumpet mushrooms, and onions two ways–agrodolce and crispy-fried. Dude, this is body by agrodolce, bro!!!

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Now, this chocolate brownie was pretty outta bounds. You’ve got rich, moist chocolate, dulce de leche ice cream, dehydrated raspberries and a maple bourbon sauce??? Shut the front, back and side doors, son!!!!

Steamed chicken two ways at Momofuku Kojin

So, we’re hanging out at Momofuku Kojin, this funky David Chang joint two floors above the noodle bar at University and Adelaide. Now, this place looks like a fancy steakhouse, with the red leather booths ‘n alll…but they’ve got The Buzzcocks, The Ramones, The Clash and Phil freakin’ Collins on the sound system, so you know it’s my kinda place, bro! And while we didn’t sleep on the steak, they’ve got this other dish that’s super-delish… steamed chicken in a pot, served up two ways:

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Now, once the chicken is cooked, they take the white meat, and serve it up with fried rice, crispy chicken skin, some chimichurri and cilantro… It even has a chicken wing!!!

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Man, this chicken is nice and tender, you’ve got a little kick from the chimichurri, some crunch from the chicken skin, and a little sticky rice to bring it all together. But then they take the dark meat and put it in a soup, son!!!

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Now, this right here is winner, winner, chicken soup dinner! And the gang’s all here—corn on the cob, potatoes…I think I even saw a green bean. This is totally a soup that eats like a meal… but you KNOW we still had room for steak, bro!!!

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This 33-oz PEI ribeye came with a whole lotta sauces and seasonings that I couldn’t even keep track of. The meat was definitely on the rare side of medium rare, but it still had a nice chew. Never thought I’d say this, though, but next time I hit up this steakhouse, I might just stick with the chicken…

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SUMMERLICIOUS 2018: Steak AND lobster for 33 bucks, bro!!!!!!!

If you’re looking for the best deal on a real-deal three-course meal at Summerlicious, look no further than Sambucas on Church. Now, at most places, you’re lucky if you get more than three or four entrees to choose from–and even luckier if you can actually find ’em on the regular menu.

But at this funky joint, they’ve got no fewer than 11 Summerlicious mains, and they ain’t holding back, either–filet mignon, rack of lamb, and both steak AND lobster, bro! And did I mention that there’s two other courses, and it’s all just 33 bucks???? Shut the front, back, side, top, rear, port and starboard doors, Sailor Broon!!!!

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Now, speaking of the sea, we’re starting off with a whole pile of PEI mussels. These clammas from another mamma are meaty, beaty, big and juicy–there ain’t no Substitute here, son! Then again, a whole buncha mine didn’t open…but I guess that just helped me save more room for steak (and lobster)!

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My motto’s always been why settle for one thing when you can eat two things, and this dish definitely doesn’t disappoint, dude! Steak is cooked to a nice medium rare, the lobster tail is nice and chewy, and you’ve got a whole pile of veggies and mashed potatoes…I guess I gotta eat those too, eh?

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Now, even though I kinda just ate two meals, you KNOW I’ve still got room for dessert–and there’s no shortage of dessert choices at Sambucas, either! You’ve got creme brulee, truffle cheesecake, and three different kinds of Tartufo–but this here chocolate lava cake has got my name on it:

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SUMMERLICIOUS 2018: Brassaii’s got big balls, bro!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Brassaii, this upper, upper class, high society joint down a back alley offa King Street. This place has got mushrooms, they’ve got trout, rockfish…and some of the biggest Spanish meatballs I’ve ever seen:

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These albondigas are served up on a big ol’ bed of tomato sauce, with garlic, onions, paprika and some cheese on top. I could totally put more than two of these in my mouth…but then I might not have room for steak:

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OK, so this is the kinda place that already cuts the steak for you And you’ve got potatoes, peppers and some fried herbs on top. Any way you slice it, it’s still pretty tasty!

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Now, I dig that they’re doing beignets for dessert, but only three to an order!? Dude, that’s such a light snack in Flavourtown that I might hafta hit up Tim Horton’s afterwards, bro!!!!

Riding a 22 oz Cowboy Ribeye at Ruth’s Chris

Now, I’m no stranger to scarfing down steak, but I’d never actually been to a Ruth’s Chris before. This place has got a 24-ounce T-Bone, a Porterhouse for two and even a 40-oz Tomahawk, but you know it’s Stampede season coming up, so I gotta go with the Cowboy Ribeye—22 ounces of bone-in beef served up medium rare:

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Dude, this steak just melts in your mouth, bro! It comes outta the oven sizzling on a super-hot plate, nice and juicy, and of course I got mine with the blue cheese crust—dude, this is body by blue cheese crust!!!

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What, did you think I was gonna order a side salad, or something? We’ve got a fully-loaded baked potater, with sour cream, shredded cheese and bacon bits—dude, this is body by bacon bits!—as well as a side of roasted cremini mushrooms. These babies are like getting struck by a Smooth Criminal in Flavourtown!

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Of course, you KNOW that even after putting all that meat in my mouth, I’ve still got room for dessert—and this one is a two-for-one combo, bro! On the plate, you’ve got chocolate cake, topped with fresh berries, and then there’s a little cuppa chocolate mousse with some whipped cream on top. OK, so it’s not the chocolate cake at Wildfire Steakhouse, but I would still crush that any day of the week!!!

Me gusto esto steak, bro!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Gusto 101, this funky fresh Italian joint just off King West on Portland St. This place has got an amazing rooftop patio, buck an ounce wines…and a pretty nice steak:

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OK, let’s break it down. You’ve got a nicely seasoned piece of dry aged centre cut striploin, with cherry tomatoes, red onions, garlic croutons and a lemon vinaigrette. And did I mention the side of Tuscan Fries?

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These spuds were hot n crispy, served up with a nice garlic aioli. I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!