Tag Archives: Taco Bell

12 TACOS OF CHRISTMAS: 10 Doritos Locos Tacos

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For the 10th taco of Christmas, my Trujillo gave to me…

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10 Doritos Locos Tacos!

 

Back in 2013, when they first introduced Doritos Locos Tacos to Canada, I might have gone a little overboard. Y’see, I knew they were only available for a limited time, so I wanted to eat so many at one time that I would never feel like I was missing out if I didn’t ever eat them again. Yes, I did eat all 10 of them. And sure enough, I have not eaten another Doritos Locos Taco to this day.

READ MORE: That time I ate 10 Doritos Locos Tacos

12 TACOS OF CHRISTMAS: Four fried chicken tacos and a Coke

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For the fourth taco of Christmas, my Trujillo gave to me…

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Four fried chicken tacos and a Coke!

 

OK, so actually it’s a Pepsi, cuz they don’t have Coke at Taco Bell. But man, when they rolled out those Naked Chicken Chalupas back in March, you KNOW I went all out, bro! Basically, it’s a Taco Bell taco with a fried chicken shell from the KFC next door. I can only imagine what flavour combination they might come up with next–can you say Doritos Locos Popcorn Chicken Poutine Supreme, bro????

READ MORE: Four fried chicken tacos and a Coke, bro!

Destroying five Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Crunchwrap Sliders!

Ever since I first read about the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos epidemic in the States, I have wanted to get my hands on these hot, crunchy flavour nuggets… But they were illegal in Canada—until now. Luckily, Taco Bell has smuggled a whole bunch over the border, and they’re cramming them into their latest culinary creation, the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Crunchwrap Slider. But you know with these only available for a limited time, I couldn’t just eat uno, or dos, or tres or even cuatro… No, we’re talking cuatro cinco, cinco, seis, son!

cheetos_crunchwrap_sliders (4)

That means five, in case you’ve forgotten the feel-good hit of the summer of ‘98. And tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1999 with these cheesy, beefy, crunchy, spicy, outta-bounds, Bomb.ca, honky-tonk redonkadonk orbs of Mexican flavour goodness! Shut the back, front and side doors, bro!

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OK, let’s break it down. You’ve got your ground-beef taco meat, your cheese and sour cream, some south of the border hot sauce, straight outta the packet, and then a ton of crunch from the Cheetos, all wrapped in a flour tortilla and baked under a panini taco press. I have never tasted anything so crunchy since that time I crushed four Naked Chicken Chalupas, bro! And I can totally relate to the crack-like properties of the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos—even after finishing five of these, I still had a craving for more!!!!

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Throwback Thursday: The unintentional Taco Bell giveaway

(Originally written July 4, 2013)

If you go through the Taco Bell drive-thru in Grand Rapids, Michigan, you could be $3,600 richer!  No, this is not part of a nationwide promotion—but rather due to the incompetence of a few employees who actually handed away the day’s earnings.  As CBS News reports, “Three people who ordered food at a Taco Bell drive-thru in western Michigan got more than just a burrito. They were handed $3,600, all of it outside the bun.”  No word as to whether it was nestled inside a cheesy gordita crunch, although the news site notes “The money was in a store bag for deposit at a bank.”

Not surprisingly, the recipient of the Taco Bell bounty thought she had been punked.  “I thought it was a joke,” said Kennidi Rue, 18, of Holland, Mich. “I thought we were on camera.”  But even though Ashton Kutcher didn’t jump out from behind the screen, the teenager still felt bad enough to give the money back.  I guess that makes her the most honest person in Michigan…

Then again, as CBS reports, Rue’s boyfriend and his friend “are National Guard members who were in Grand Rapids for training.”  So if she kept the money, they’d hafta arrest her, right?

Throwback Thursday: That time I ate 10 Doritos Locos Tacos

(Originally written September 4, 2013)

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I had been waiting for this moment to arrive for eons, if not millennia.  Every time I’d see an ad for Doritos Locos Tacos within a commercial break during a football game, or another entertaining episode of Duck Dynasty, I’d immediately drop everything and run down to my nearest Taco Bell (which, incidentally, is three long blocks away).  But even if they weren’t closed at the time, they did not have any Doritos Locos Tacos; twas but an American-only offer… until now.  When I first heard the news that they were finally coming to Canada, I did not jump off the couch, because it was pretty late, and I am well aware of their hours of operation.  That said, I made sure to make my way down there this evening for a most delectable, gut-busting feast.

doritos_locos_receipt

As you can see, the 10 tacos only came to $15.90 plus tax, which is less than you’d pay for a martini at Suits Lobby Lounge.  They did try to upsell me to “Doritos Locos Tacos Supremos,” but it really wasn’t worth paying extra for a little salsa and sour cream, not when I’ve invited my friends Tabasco and Salsa Con Queso to the the party:

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What doesn’t taste better with processed cheese sauce? I’d put that stuff on a flip-flop!

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Man, this taco was like a one-way ticket to Flavourtown.  Make that 10 one-way tickets.  The shell was hard and crunchy up top, but soft and mushy on the bottom, which is less unappetizing than it sounds.  The beef was lightly seasoned, with the crispness of the lettuce, a little kick from the hot sauce…  But what makes this dish is the salsa con queso.  You’ve got the creaminess of the cheese sauce, some heat from the peppers–I put that shit on everything (or at least on macaroni).

Of course, 10 tacos in one sitting is not for the weak of cholesterol.  By the fifth one, I was already counting how many I had left; by the seventh, I could start to feel it in my chest.  When I bit into the ninth, the aftertaste kicked in, and I broke into a violent coughing fit about halfway through.  But nobody wants to be the guy who buys 10 Doritos Locos Tacos and only eats nine of them, so I soldiered on, leaving a whole mess of wrappers–and some orange Dorito fingers–in my wake:

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(See those pill bottles on the left?  I’m gonna be needing some of all of them in a bit…)