Tag Archives: Tim Hortons

The not-so-good kind of chicken fingers @ Tim Hortons

Y’know, I can’t always be rollin’ out, looking for Canada’s greatest burgers, bacon and beers all the time. Some days, I just wanna get drunk and eat chicken fingers. But there ain’t too many places where you can get chicken strips to go — sure, there’s maybe KFC, but why order chicken fingers when you can do a Double Down, dude??? So when I heard that Tim Hortons was servin’ up chicken strips, I figured I’d pick some up on the way back from The Beer Store:

tim_hortons_chicken_strips (11)

Now, these bad boys only come two to an order, and it’s like $4.50, but that also comes with dipping sauce. I went with chipotle and ranch — dude, Chipotle Ranch is the name of my weekend getaway! But man, nine bucks for four chicken fingers is kinda lame…especially when the good kind are eight bucks:

 

 

Who needs a pumpkin spice latte when you can have a pumpkin spice iced capp?

Is it PSL season yet? No way, Jose! The NFL literally just had its hottest game in 15 years, so it definitely doesn’t feel like fall. And the last time I went to Starbucks, I actually bought me a beer. (That one didn’t work out in the long run, for some reason…) But when yer sweatin’ bullets off yer ballsack, good ol’ Tim Hortons has just the thing for you. Say hello to the Pumpkin Spice Iced Capp, bro!!!

pumpkin_spice_iced_capp (7)

Now, I know what you’re thinking–this just looks like a regular old iced capp. Well, that’s because my local Timmies was all out of whipped cream already at 10 am. Kinda makes you wonder what they were doing with all that whipped cream last night… Oh, and they didn’t have any of the pumpkin drizzle, either. Someone musta been all Brown Chicken Brown Cow up in this joint, broseph!

Anyways, you can totally taste the pumpkin in this. It pretty much takes like pumpkin pie in icicle form. And I lost count of how many brain freezes I got before I finished–I guess you’re not supposed to chug it through a funnel???

Tim Hortons has poutine now. Because, of course…

I guess it was just a matter of time. I mean, what could be more Canadian than the most Canadian chain serving up the most Canadian dish? Coming in hot on the heels of such culinary creations as the crispy chicken sandwich, chili cheese wedges and churro doughnut, Tim Hortons is now serving poutine. Of course they are.

tim_hortons_poutine (8)

Their poutines come in regular, bacon and chili–which sounds like something some broseph puked up on King St at 3 am last Friday. But the bacon poutine was pretty decent. The curds are legit, the sauce is pretty solid…but these are the same freakin’ potato wedges that they use for their chili cheese fries, with the same weird herb seasoning. Dude, the only time herb should go with poutine is after October 17, Justin True Bro!!!!

This must be the unhealthiest meal in Tim Hortons history!

Now, I don’t normally eat at Tim Hortons, dude. If I want a soup and a sandwich…I just go to Panera Bread, bro! But lately, Timmy Ho’s has a whole new menu, and they’re serving up some real-deal comfort food that’s both delicious and unnutritious! So here’s the move—Crispy Chicken Sandwich, served club style with cheese and bacon, a side of Loaded Potato Wedges and a new Churro Donut for dessert!

tims_crispy_chicken-8

Now, I gotta say, this chicken burger is better than anything I’ve had at McDonald’s or Wendy’s lately. The chicken is super crispy, the bun is nice and soft, the bacon is not too chewy…and they actually use real cheddar cheese, bro! I don’t think Mickey D’s has ever done that, dude!

tims_loaded_wedges-4

Now, Timmy’s apparently pissed some people off by giving away 4 million potato wedges instead of coffee in Roll Up the Rim—but who needs coffee when you can have potato, bro!? These fully loaded wedges come with chili and cheese on top—and this is body by chili and cheese, son! The chili actually absorbs nicely into the potato, but I think if they used some of that real cheddar cheese instead of this stringy white stuff, it would kick this dish up a notch, knowwhatImsayin?

tims_churro_donut-3

Now, I gotta be honest, after consuming over 770 calories already, I almost didn’t have room for dessert. But you know I can’t say no to churros, bro! This looks kinda like a honey cruller, but they put a whole buncha powdered sugar on top, and then there’s caramel on the inside!!!??? Shut the back door!

Now, Timmy’s hasn’t put the loaded wedges or the churro donut up on its nutrition site yet, but if I add the unloaded wedges and a honey cruller to the crispy chicken club, I’m eating 1050 calories…so this was probably a few more. I might only need three fried chickens and a Coke for dinner instead of four!!!