Tag Archives: Toronto Blue Jays

Toronto Blue Jays are selling $1 hot dogs on Tuesdays…so I ate 10 of them.

Take me out to the ballgame, bro! Last night, my double bacon bro Jake Burger and the Chicago White Sox were in town…but we’re not eating burgers, cuz it’s Loonie Dog Night at the ballpark, son! That’s right, every Tuesday you can buy a hot dog for just one dollar — or do what I did, and get 10 for $10.

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Now I gotta say, these seem smaller than your regular ballpark franks — I could scarf ’em down in just a couple bites. And unlike in Chicago, where you’ve got tons of toppings you can pile on, our continued pandemic precautions mean your only options are packets of ketchup, mustard and relish:

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While I did grab about as many condiment packets as I could carry in one hand, I still did not have enough to go around. About halfway through, I was all outta mustard, and for the last five dogs, I only had two packets of ketchup and three packets of relish left — so some dogs got only relish, and others only got ketchup:

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Man, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten this many hot dogs in one sitting before. (I once scarfed down 10 Doritos Locos Tacos, but that’s a different story, bro!) And I didn’t start to feel full until maybe the seventh or the eighth. Once I got to the end, I still wasn’t too uncomfortable, but I did NOT need to have another hot dog, put it that way…

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But you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro! We’re talking soft-serve ice cream in a batting helmet, with vanilla on top, and chocolate on the bottom:

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OK, so I was getting pretty full after the ice cream. I had to eat it pretty fast, cuz it was like 29 in the shade last night, and I didn’t want it all to melt… It’s a good thing it doesn’t come in a full-sized batting helmet, bro — I don’t think I’d have room for that.

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I’m gonna crush these beers like Bo crushes Yankees pitchers, bro!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Rogers Centre, where the Jays are locked into an epic series against the New York Yankees. Last night, my homeboy Bo Bichette went off, with three hits and two homers, including the game-winning blast in the bottom of the eighth. And now we’re back at the ballpark for some footlong franks and victory beers, bro!!!

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What could be better than meat in tube form? How about 12 inches of meat, son!!! This footlong hotdog is so big, it doesn’t even fit into the bun! However, they got rid of the self-service condiment station, and only gave out packets of ketchup, relish and mustard (which I couldn’t open, for some reason)…but that doesn’t make this dugout dog any less delicious!

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Fries were warm and crunchy at the bottom, but the ones up top were cold and soggy. That’s not to say I didn’t eat every last one, son!!!!

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And when it comes to beer, the only options here were Budweiser, Bud Light or Stella Artois. Part of me wasn’t sure it was worth paying two dollars more for Stella…but I don’t think any part of me thinks it’s worth paying anything for Bud Light, so the choice was obvious. 😛

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Sucking on chili dogs at the back of Fancy Franks…

Today is Opening Day for the Blue Jays…although they were in New York today, and will play their “home games” in Florida until at least the end of May. Since it looks like we won’t be heading down to the ballpark anytime soon, we’re bringing the ballpark home with some real-deal Coney Island chili dogs from Francy Franks.

Suck on THIS chili dog, John Bro-gar Bro-llencamp! We’ve got a 100% beef wiener topped with meaty chili, chopped onions and mustard in a warm ‘n toasty bun. And you KNOW I didn’t eat just one, bro!!!

But that’s not all, folks! We’re kicking things up another notch with some chili poutine! This dish is like Chili Cheese Fries Gone Wild — with real-deal cheese curds to top it off. There is even some gravy on here, but it mostly either absorbed into the meat or settled at the bottom. And hey, this dish actually held up OK in delivery!

Now, we won’t have the CN Tower in the background on Opening Day, so instead we’re drinking a beer with the CN Tower on it — Divercity Helles Lager from Lost Craft. And hey, the Jays actually came back in extra innings to beat the Yanks!!!! Can I get a Helles Yeah, bro????

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Gone Country @ the ballpark with a pulled pork, cheese curd, waffle sammy!!!

Yesterday was Country Day at the Rogers Centre, which means I showed up bright and early…at 2 pm. You had a plaid-sleeved, long-sleeve Blue Jays t-shirt giveaway, my Alberta bros in High Valley bustin’ out some Alan Jackson and Joe Diffie tunes, and all the cheerleaders were dressed up like rootin’, tootin’ cowgirls. For a minute there, I almost forgot I was in Toronto!

Of course, I wasn’t just there to hoedown, bro! When I heard they were serving up some new culinary creations for the 2018 season, you KNOW I was gonna dive right in. And while the beef brisket sandwich and the Korean BBQ tacos sounded tasty, I knew there was only one Flavourtown rockstar headed straight down my piehole–the Log Cabin Sandwich:

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This gay Republican’s wet dream comes fully loaded with pulled pork, baked beans and cheese curds on a savoury rosemary waffle. Now, the waffle was nice and fluffy, and the pulled pork was on point…but the beans had no flavour and the cheese curds were cold as ice, ice baby. There was no gravy or sauce on this sammy, but once the pulled pork warmed the cheese up a bit, it came together pretty good. So, I wouldn’t call this dish a home run, but it was more like a Teoscar Hernandez triple off the top of the wall, maybe?

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Of course, after pounding all that pork, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro! Now, this churro poutine has about as much in common with actual poutine as Guy Fieri does with Guy Lafleur…but if you wanna slam six churros with a scoop of ice cream, you definitely can’t go wrong here!