Greedo goes to Canoe…hilarity ensues!

Now, in all my years of eating in this city, I had never been to Canoe. I did have sex in a canoe once–it tasted like Bud Light. But I’d never been to the restaurant at the top of the TD Tower with the majestic views of the city skyline…until now.

life_in_the_clouds_IPA (10)

So, I figured if I’m gonna be way up high, I’d better be drinking Life in the Clouds, this strong, hazy, double dry-hopped IPA from Collective Arts. If you’re a fan of unfiltered citrus beers, then this one’s for you. And hey, some of the wines here were like 90 bucks for a thimble…so I figured I’d better stick to beer.

smoked_boudin_noir+sweetbreads (15)

So we’re starting off with this dish of smoked boudin noir sausage, Kentucky-fried sweetbreads with risotto, walnuts and morel mushrooms. I knew I had to order this when I saw ’em bring it to another table under a glass dome with all the smoke. Now, I don’t always eat sweetbreads, but if you Kentucky fry that shit, I could slam, like, seven of these…and still have room for some shrooms:

smoked_boudin_noir+sweetbreads (22)

Now, for the main course, I was torn between the Tamarack Lamb and the Quebec Red Stag. But dude, how often do you get deer…from Quebec???

quebec_red_stag_canoe (12)

This baaaad, baaaad venison was like a Bon Jovi keyboard solo in Flavourtown! Deer was cooked to a perfect medium rare, you’ve got like one or two potatoes, a small sausage roll, some peanut-butter jelly sauce…and a lot of cabbage. Like, a whole lotta cabbage–enough that you almost need a third piece of meat to go with it. Dude, I did not come here for the cabbage…but of course, I still ate it all, anyways:

quebec_red_stag_canoe (28)(This might be the most unclean cleaned plate I’ve ever seen…)

chocolate_forest_stout_cake (3)

Of course, even after all that cabbage, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro! But I gotta say, when I ordered the Chocolate Forest Stout Cake, this is NOT what I was expecting. I guess you’ve got some cake crumbles in there, with some marshmallow, chocolate pudding, chocolate chunks and then this chestnut/gingerbread ice cream. But I’d much rather have a great big piece of real man’s cake, the way they do at Wildfire Steakhouse, son!!!

Now, I gotta say, I know a couple people who’ve been to Canoe before, and they told me that I’d hafta stop for a burger on the way home cuz I’d still be hungry. But I can tell ya that after an appetizer, main course and a dessert…I did not have room for an after-dinner burger. Maybe it’s because I filled up on the free bread and butter, though?

canoe_bread+butter(Mmm, sourdough…)

Advertisements

Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango???

Now, I’m not normally one for fine dining, but if you name your restaurant after a line from my favourite Queen song, then you KNOW I’ll be there with a crown on, bro! So we’re hanging out at Scaramouche, this funky joint at the bottom of a condo, a few blocks away from Av & Dav. It’s a little off the beaten path, but dude, if I lived in that building, I’d eat here every day! (Did I mention they’ve got a pasta bar upstairs???)

duck_confit_gnocchi (9)

So, we’re starting off with an appy that eats like a meal — the Gnocchi Parisienne, with shredded duck confit. Dude, I loves me some duck confit…and this is body by gnocchi, so you know it’s gotta be good! Plus, you’ve got some nice sauteed mushrooms, a duck foie gras jus and winter greens–but it’s the crunchy Parmesan crumbs that makes it!!!

scaramouche_venison (3)

Now, so many of the main courses here looked super-cala-fragilistic extra delicious, but you know my tiebreaker is always gonna be bacon, so I just had to go with the bacon-wrapped venison. This gamey deer steak was cooked to perfection, a nice medium rare, with all sorts of stuff on the side, including some big ‘ol shrooms and a nice, spicy mustard. You could put that on a flip-flop, and it would still taste good! Now, the Parmesan fries were extra, but you KNOW we’re paying extra for some cheesy potaters, son!!!

parmesan_fries (2)

And of course, even after all this grub… I still had room for dessert!!!

chocolate_nougat_bar (7)

Say hello to my little friend Milk Chocolate Nougat Bar. This three-piece Oh Henry comes with salted peanut brittle and a side swipe of caramel sauce. Dude, I would swipe right on that sauce–right down my piehole, bro!!!

It’s like Bambi in a bowl, bro!!!!

So, we’re back at Drake One Fifty, this funky fresh financial-district joint—only this time it’s for dinner. Now, this place has got pizzas, burgers and even eggplant parm, but I wanted something I couldn’t get anywhere else…like this righteous dish, venison paccheri, cuz you know I speak the third-best Italian, broseph!

venison_paccheri (6)

Now, this is probably one of the top three deer dishes I’ve ever had—and it’s the only one that wasn’t served up by a good ol’ boy in a trucker hat. The venison is rich and tender, over a bed of big-ass noodles and some cheese on top. The paccheri weren’t exactly al dente, but hey, a crunchy noodle probably wouldn’t work well beneath slow-cooked Bambi, amirite?