Tag Archives: Winterlicious 2016

It’s a bird…it’s a plane…it’s…Superweiner!

By day, this sausage is a mild-mannered Toronto Star reporter, but during Winterlicious, he puts on a cape and tights and becomes Superweiner!

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OK, what we’ve got here is a jalapeno cheese-curd smokie, topped with some English-style South Asian pickled vegetables, and a side of goofy oversized crackers. (Dude, I coulda used some Ruffles or some Doritos!) You definitely get the oozy cheese coming out of the sausage, but if there’s any jalapeno here, it’s a very subtle touch. If anything, this dish is overwhelmed by the pickled veg on top, though it’s still got a nice chew. But dude, who cuts a hot dog in half!? You expect me to share it with someone? Pretty sure I could eat six of these, bro!

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Of course, every super hero has a sidekick, and over at Bannock, Superweiner’s sidekick is moonshine panna cotta. They actually put real shine in this albino Jello, and you can even taste the booze. The syrupy apples and raisins add a nice saucy touch, but the white lightnin’ is what makes it! I wouldn’t say I was drunk or anything, but I did fall down the escalator at The Bay afterwards. (Hey, I was probably still buzzed after shot-gunning 22 Coors Lights the night before!!!)

I went to Signs, and it opened up my eyes…

Let’s be honest bro, some of these restaurant trends are stupid and pointless. Dining in the dark? Korean food you hafta cook yourself? All-you-can-eat vegan buffet!? Ixnay on the Hombre, Jose! But Signs Restaurant serves a much greater purpose—and a mean chocolate cake for dessert.

This funky joint opened up at the corner of Yonge and Wellesley in 2014 (where I think it actually replaced a Korean BBQ joint), and it’s the first restaurant in Canada staffed entirely by deaf servers, bartenders, food runners and busboys. The hostess will lead you to your table in English, but from there, you’ll do more hand-talking than a Sunday dinner at the Jersey Shore, capiche?

Their Winterlicious menu offered up some delicious dishes for wicked-low prices, which you ordered in American Sign Language. Even their drink menu was in ASL—turns out the international sign for Steamwhistle is awfully similar to the Alberta Sign Language for “Honk your horn, trucker dude!”

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I started off with the veggie spring rolls, which was the awesomest thing to order in sign language—kinda like a gopher coming out of its hole and rolling up a big fat doob. That said, the rolls weren’t really anything special…but the meal only got better from here.

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Turns out, you can order a veal chop by making a chopping motion with your hands. This one was a perfect medium-rare, nice char marks, with some creamy mashed potatoes and slivered veggies on the side. I’m not used to eating veal without the parmesan, but man, I would take this veal chop over Sbarro any day of the week, and twice on Tuesdays!

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And for desert, they’ve got this bomb chocolate cake. Rich, moist chunks of chocolately goodness, with a little chocolate drizzle and some berries on the side. I don’t always eat cake, but when I do…who am I kidding, this is body by chocolate cake, bro!

Honestly dude, chatting with the wait staff wasn’t all that tricky. Turns out the sign for “excellent” is two thumbs up, and I think the sign for “party time” is rocking out on air guitar. Our waitress didn’t get the reference, though. I guess she’s never watched Wayne’s World!

But hey, when it’s not Winterlicious, this place serves up the good stuff, like pork belly bahn mi, duck confit poutine and deep-friend mac ‘n cheese balls. Sign me up for sign-language classes Ah-nold, cuz I’ll be back!

These whitefish doughnuts make America great again!

America has been getting a bad rap lately. The Globe and Mail said “The food is amazing – but you shouldn’t eat here, ever.” Toronto Life said “the food is inflated to the extreme, both in size and price” while DineSafe added “Operator fail to ensure food is not contaminated/adulterated.” OK, I’m pretty sure they were just nitpicking on that one. But most Torontonians I know say they’d never give their money to Donald Trump, to which I say “Atlantic City, baby!”

Or Adelaide St W, as the case may be. Located at the top of the Toronto Trump Tower, this funky joint greets you with portraits of all the celebrities who ate there before they boycotted the place. But man, you’d hafta build a wall to keep me away! I’ve got two words for you: Whitefish. Doughuts.

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These flaky fish Timbits were lightly fried for a nice crunch and came swimming in a sea of tangy beet juice. My only complaint was that there’s only three to an order—I could eat about 30! But hey, that was only the first course…

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Holy Bacon-Wrapped Meat Loaf, Batman! This yuge slab of beef/bacon paired up with some German-style cabbage for the perfect bite. I dunno guy, but I could eat this off the tailpipe of a ’67 Camaro and still have room for dessert!

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They call this dish “Jasper Hill Cheddar Whiz.” It’s kinda like Cheez Whiz gone mousse. My only complaint was with the nutty cracker things. I coulda used some nachos, bro!

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God Bless America Restaurant, and no place else!